i want to marry him because i love him and dont ever wanna be without him, i only want to have one sexual partner, he is my best friend and we have a 9 year old out of our 11 year relationship. what i love about him is what is breaking us. BEST FRIENDS have a loyalty that we do share but it also allows you to dismiss someone assuming that its ok because you are friends and they understand.
the reason i am unsure....he treats me like his friend all the time, we dont go out unless its the whole crew, which is me and 4 other friends. i like to see things and do things, he likes watching t.v. and i dont watch t.v. he does friend things like getting things for me and going to the store for me but not boyfriend things like taking me out or buying me things. we are such friends he thinks its ok that i missed gifts on every holiday including my birthday and valentines day believe it or not for the last 2 years and i save for months for his expensive gifts. SEX is amazing and i need that.....
2007-10-03 08:04:27 · 8 answers · asked by badbitty101 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i want that from him and only him. i told him i had these problems because we should be doing things and going places together and he said, sounds like you rather be single....
WTF? i hope that is not a sign of things to come. i hope i wont have to be single to enjoy life.
2007-10-03 08:06:13 · update #1
he feels like his job is done once his 1/2 of bills are paid and i hate being the one to supply the house, when he makes more than me but is busy entertaining his friends to buy something for me or his daughter.
can love alone and dedication get me thru this or should i began making calls to stop this madness in the tracks??
2007-10-03 08:08:53 · update #2
Get some premarital counseling. You guys clearly have two different sets of expectations from your relationship. You need to discuss these differences with a counselor so that they can help you guys get onto the same page. It's important that you do this before you tie the knot. If you don't, there will be a lot of unnecessary fights, arguments, and hurt feelings in your marriage. Set yourselves up for success, and give your 9 year old the best possible family that you can.
2007-10-03 08:15:13 · answer #1 · answered by mt75689 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you tell him exactly what you told us? If he doesn't understand, maybe he isn't the right person for you or doesn't want to man up to the responsibilities of a "boyfriend" or "husband." Tell him it's not okay at times and that you want to be treated as his girlfriend and not just a friend. Trust me, there is a BIG difference between the two labels. Don't rush into marriage yet... Sounds to me like he's not ready. And don't feel bad that it didn't work out at the end because you really do have your whole life ahead of you. Good luck!
2007-10-03 15:18:06 · answer #2 · answered by LALA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact is, you are not his pal, you are his romantic partner. It seems he isn't interested in treating you in the way you feel is important. Don't listen to the person who said you're spoiled. Everyone has certain standards of how they will accept being treated (at least they should), and if this man is unable or unwilling to meet those standards, he isn't the right man for you, I'm sorry to say. He needs a big wake up call. I bet he doesn't know these doubts you're harboring. No holiday gifts, etc is just stingy. I'm sorry, I wouldn't go for that at all.
2007-10-03 15:15:32 · answer #3 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're clever. You're spotting problems now and trying to get things right before you tie the knot. You really need to discuss this further with him. You both have wants and needs and the fact that he thinks yours are not important is not a good sign. All to often we don't just come right out and ask for what we need. We expect our other half to just instinctively know. They don't. So just be direct. xo
2007-10-03 15:12:10 · answer #4 · answered by beanasgaillimh 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
GIRL!! that is a glimpse into your future!! and if you are having doubts you CAN NOT marry him ... you have to be absolutely sure that he is the one you want to be with ...
Maybe you guys should seek couples counseling before you tie the knot!!
Good Luck honey I hope you get what you need from him!!
2007-10-03 15:09:36 · answer #5 · answered by Stephanie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
badbitty, Hon, a man and wife are to be best friends and exclusive lovers. But it sounds like he is not "in" love with you ! A good man will be passionet and dote on their lady ! Tell him that he is very fortunate to have your love and that you would like to reap what you sow !
2007-10-03 15:21:36 · answer #6 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he refuses to date you now, before you are even married, I can't imagine that will change at all if you get married. You really should have honest conversation with him about what your expectations are. Have you even asked him why he doesn't do those things? Have you asked him why he doesn't think you are worth pursuing? Have you asked him why he doesn't think you are worth putting that kind of thought into? Try it.
2007-10-03 15:12:03 · answer #7 · answered by btpage0630 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a spoiled brat...
2007-10-03 15:08:52 · answer #8 · answered by vinster82 5 · 0⤊ 4⤋