My heart hurts....what should I do....?

Question

I have lost the person I love, and this is my first time. I don't feel the same. Is this natural? What should I do? My heart hearts so badly...please help...I feel a part of me is missing...

Answer 1

A.J.,
It would be so unusual if in your life you'd be spared from the heartaches, of every type especially from love. Everyone in the world will experience this at the beginning, in the middle of their life, in the end . . and between all these. Yes, it is a terrible pain, I've gone through it.
But believe it or not, it is a pain which tests your survival skills while you live.
You must try to focus your attention of other things, even when it feels familiarly uncomfortable to dwell on lost love.
See, the more you set all your interest in what did not work, the more you'll feel as if nothing else is well, or will be well again. Pain, Hurt comes to everyone : Kings, Queens, princes, and to the everyday man.
You must make this decision for yourself . . love failed you, and now you have to embrace the pain from loss, go through the stages of grief, and then begin all over again. Leaving the experience behind.
Then, when you are ready to love again, you will . . and maybe it will work and maybe it will not . . but in a way what you are going through is an exercise to find someday someone who will unite with you in compatibility.
But you have to simply become STRONG, and go through what you're going through.
And NO ONE can lessen the pain or take it away because IT IS your pain.
So, I would advice you, to collect yourself as much as possible and allow time to pass. The day will come, if you opt for life and its' painful incidents, when you yourself will know what we all find out at some time afterwards. And that is, but you must be patient in this, "That This Too Will Pass!"
At the beginning of your life as a young man to grow into full adulthood you must stress upon yourself that one can not avoid these types of pain, and that you must go through them, because not you, not I, not Anyone can escape them!!!
This is Life, A.J., NOT a fairy tale that ends in "And they all lived happily ever after." Now, please, be a man, and go through your pain and survive it. Everyday, it will feel a little better unless you make hurting on and on your obsession.
Trust me . . we all have to suffer. NOT one person is ever spared!
Abi G.

Answer 2

Hi, AJ.... I am so sorry! That is the absolute worst pain in the world! The first time is always the worst.
And, I remember ALL of them very clearly.
Unfortunately, if it happens again, and again... (and for most of us, that is the "norm"... ) it gets "easier".
I don't mean it hurts less, (although sometimes that is true also... each love is different...)
I mean you begin to "catch on".
You know you've survived it before; and that helps you to know you'll survive it 'this time' as well.
The first time; none of the above seems possible, or even desirable.
"They" say you never forget your first love. "They" say it because it's true.
What does change is: the searing, blinding pain goes away. So does the feeling you are going to be sick to your stomach forever.
Eventually the joy is what your heart will remember. I grant you this all seems impossible now.
I would never lie to you, AJ.
It will, one day, be one of the things you remember with happiness. And you will remember how awful the loss was; with affection for the person you were then.
I swear.
For now, all the "advice" you will recieve will be true.
(Except the bozo who said "pass it on" in one of your answers here. That won't help.)
The "trick" is to follow it.
DO get out, see your friends, watch a ball game or an "action" movie. (Do not! see a love story! Trust me on this!) Play a game. Soccer? American football? Play hard. Do not! sit in your room, and brood. (You will make it worse; much, much worse.)
Distract yourself any way you can. Find something that makes you laugh, and do it!
The first time you find yourself laughing,( in spite of yourself) you've overcome that first hurdle!
Find something to make you laugh, as fast as you can. Dwelling on how bad you feel is the worst thing you can do. There is not a chance in hell you'll forget to grieve. I promise you; you will grieve enough for two people. Just remember: You need to take care of you! As much as others love and care about you, only you can heal this, and it's going to take time.
Good news: It will pass. It will. I swear on ANYthing you'd like me to; it will pass!
I'm here for you, AJ. If you want to talk, I'll be available. Talk to someone! I'l be thinking about you, kiddo. }:>

Oh. It's the most natural thing in the world, AJ. Honest.

Answer 3

Once I thought I was gonna die for the same reason... After some time I recovered and I found out that I was able to love again and that my pain at that time was a waste of time.
In fact, I am glad to say that the person I thought was the person "destined" for me at that time would have become a nightmare... When I found it out into my heart I said many "thanks to GOD" for my dreams at that time had not come true!
So don't give up. It will soon pass and you will be able to move on. I guess almost everybody experiences this, thinks that the pain is unbearable and moves on in the end.
You are "into the problem" so you cannot have an optimistic view of your future but believe me, it will be over and you will love again.
The right person will come to you.
God Bless You!

Answer 4

I remember my first love and how he broke my heart so bad. what you have to do is cry it out let it hurt pick yourself up feel confident and go out there and start meeting people even as friends and doing things and before you know it that person wont even cross your mind. I know you think this is the worst thing that could have happen to you but really it has only made you a stronger and more aware of things

Answer 5

Losing your first love is like a death. You must grieve, but then pick yourself up and move on.

Believe it or not, one day you will love again. Being young and in love seems like the biggest deal in the world, but once you get older, you will put it all in perspective.

Cry it out. But try not to obsess over it because it will only hurt you more.

Answer 6

it happens and it sucks i know ! dont get me wrong but this may be the first but it might not be the last time it happens.... love is weird like that .... but dont stress over it too much thinka bout the good things there are without that person... and that person is the one who let u go then that person is missing out some one like u .. ihope u feel better .. go out dont spend too much time thinking about it.. it will go away trust me ... even if u feel like its not it will ...

Answer 7

A.J, I feel so bad for you.
Losing someone you love hurts so much.
Hang in there A.J.
You know you can talk to me. I will always be here for you.
It is natural not to feel the same.
Talk to me. Okay?

Answer 8

yes, its absolutely natural. Unfortunately it will last a while. the only way you get through it is with time; but rest assured that almost everyone has been through it and have gotten through it; one day you will meet someone new and the past wont matter anymore

Good Luck!

Answer 9

its the first time, its obvious. but u shud go on with ur life. get moving on again. hang out with ur frnds and listen 2 music. better is that u talk 2 sum1. tyr 2 engage urself in sum work or in sumthing which u like a lot-----kindda passion....
try it out once, u'll feel better.

Answer 10

Thats sucks, but it happens to everyone. Just try to stay as positive as you can. I know it is easier said then done but try. You should also try and surround yourself with friends and keep busy, do fun things, try not to be alone a lot. Good luck.