okay so i have a problem with my hubby looking up naked girls online, he doesnt do it all the time and doesnt understand why it bothers me because i dont mind the porn but the dif to me is that the porn has a purpose when he is taking care of himself and the ladies he looks up dont because he doesnt take care of himself which means he is just looking at their bodies..i know all guys do this but it bothers me i cant help it so the other day he said he wouldnt do it..well today we got into a fight that had absolutley nothing to do with this situation..but of course he brought it up and told me that if he isnt with another women that i could just deal with it..i am so pissed off right now and dont know what to do..if something bothered your spouse that bad wouldnt you stop?? why would he say this to me and be such an ***??
2007-10-03 07:18:28 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
okay to all the rude people i have tried to get over it and it still bothers me a lot the porn i dont mind and i do watch it with him it is him goin outta his way to look up naked women and to some people that is just as bad as cheating..i didnt ask your opinion on that i asked why he would tell me he would stop and then when we fight over something compleley dif he brings it up..i cant help it and ive tried to get over it but if your spouse came to you with something that bothered them wouldnt u stop for them?
2007-10-03 07:29:13 · update #1
I guess I'm just a romantic, but I would like to think that, if my husband was doing something that upset me as badly as your husband is upsetting you, he would quit doing it.
Have you tried sitting down, turning off all distractions (phone, TV, computer, cell phones, etc), and just speaking to him about it? I don't mean trying to explain why it bothers you - there may not be a rational reason. We're humans...worse, we're women and not always rational, but just telling him quietly and sincerely that it very much bothers you and ask him to please try to respect your feelings and stop looking up naked women? A serious, sincere, heartfelt discussion about how this makes you feel without trying to explain WHY you feel this way might make him understand.
At the same time, he seems to get a great deal of pleasure from this surfing. Perhaps you should delve deeper into his reasons for looking up naked women. There may be something else besides just arousal. Maybe he's obsessed and needs HELP. It sounds melodramatic, but it's not unheard of for people to harbor unhealthy obsessions and not even realize it. Anything you do that causes negative conflicts with the rest of your life is unhealthy.
He doesn't seem to understand that this isn't just making you angry. He seems to be missing the point that this is very clearly HURTING you.
If no compromise can be met, you might have a choice to make.
2007-10-03 07:51:03 · answer #1 · answered by Love My Hubby - Hate His Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You watch with him? By doing that, you are sanctioning what he's looking at! You can't have it both ways, and no, just because you think he should stop doesn't mean he should because you want him to. I'm sure there are plenty of things you do that annoy him and he would like to see you stop but doesn't pressure you about it. I'm not into porn, but if it's a harmless "hobby" of his, and he's not out cruising the neighborhood flashing the kiddies, leave him be!!! Or...are you afraid that he likes what he's seeing more than you? Don't be insecure about it, give him more spice to take his mind off of it...good luck!!!
2007-10-07 14:18:55 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Miss Keir 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think he is trying to hurt you, he probably just likes it and Im sure you wouldnt want him telling you not to do something that is harmless. I think you should find a way to deal with is so he doesnt do it behind your back, find out why he likes it soo much, what is so special about these girls. You could walk around naked to distract him, Im pretty sure he would rather look at you naked. Its worth a shot. Dont let this ruin or cause problems for you two. Good luck.
2007-10-03 14:39:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Men do not repond well to nagging, complaing, crying and/or whining.
You cannot change or control him. Sometimes we just have to move on. I know I do not like it either, but I let it go. It is very rare that it happens anymore.
Good Luck and go do something nice for yourself!
2007-10-03 14:32:52 · answer #4 · answered by Tadpoler 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys can be insensitive asses when they're ready!
My suggestion, change the direction that he has his attention. Most guys watch porn cuz the lady doesn't get them as exited as they wish to be. (no offense). Find ways to tease him - sexier underwear, sex toys, etc.
You'll be his new "porn"
Good Luck!
2007-10-03 15:00:39 · answer #5 · answered by kandy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Porn aside, I am of the opinion that ANYTHING that is bothersome or hurtful to EITHER partner should be STOPPED.
What is more important, some pics of women he will NEVER EVEN meet or his wife's feelings?....
2007-10-03 14:44:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
men are men and they WILL look at other women and porn...THIS IS A FACT OF LIFE....get over it already
Why don't you join him when he is watching porn and get involved....you may find this is pleasurable as well.
2007-10-03 14:22:47 · answer #7 · answered by sunbun 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
OH quit it, you should like 1 of the church ladies,(who used to be #%##), but not now, and who r you to make your man promise to quit something he likes, your his LADY, not his MOMMY!!! Enjoy yourself a little more!!! the benefits can be all yours!!!!!!!!
2007-10-03 14:25:22 · answer #8 · answered by happywjc 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's what they do. You need to just over look it, and get over it.
2007-10-03 14:26:07 · answer #9 · answered by baylees 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋