Or, if youre thinking about a divorce, why?
I am thinking about getting married and I am curious what what advice you could give from a different perspective.
2007-10-03 03:15:17 · 9 answers · asked by Stuey 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I married someone who wanted to be married, have all the benefits of marriage but not fulfill any of the responsibilities of marriage. He went out, cheated, quit jobs, sat around the house, didn't watch the kids at all, basically you would have thought I was his roommate "with benefits" Any time I tried to communicate with him about our marriage he turned it all on me.
If you want to make a strong healthy marriage, always remember that you're trying to go through life WITH someone else - it's not just some conveniance thing you do to throw a party and get presents. Being WITH someone is not the same as being next to them. Everything you do, you approach with the other person in mind. I went through some difficult times with my second husband but it all turned when I said to him "I don't know about you, but that's not MY definition of love" and he got to thinking 'what IS your definition of love?' and he realized that it wasn't about 'what can you do for me?' it was about "what can WE do together?" We began communicating and putting our heads together about everything. Now I know our marriage will last forever, like it is supposed to do. My first husband never really could be comfortable that way. He'll never be happy in marriage becuase to him, it was all about "what are you doing for me?" rather than "what are we doing together?" He's on his fifth girlfriend and he still can't be happy. But I will be happy even on my deathbed because of this wonderful man I am married to now.
2007-10-03 03:37:45 · answer #1 · answered by Cassandra G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first husband had a 6 month affair with a 16 year old behind my back, I only found out about it because I came home from work early and caught them in bed. He had always liked her but she was only 11 when he met her, he married me coz I looked a bit like her but was old enough to marry. I divorced him because he wasn't in love with me, he wanted her, so no point trying to save that marriage.
2nd Husband went away on a work conference over night, one of the girls who went along was infatuated with him, I know this because we used to socialise together and she was always all over him, even when I was there. Basically he got very drunk and ended up in bed with her, he was sorry but I could not forget that and it destroyed all the trust I had in him.
So there are my two reasons, cheating is not an easy thing to forgive and forget about, especially if I had not given either of them any reason to cheat.
2007-10-03 03:23:14 · answer #2 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got divorced the first time cause he wanted kids and we found out after marriage I couldn't have any.....I have been married 11 years now to a wonderful man and we adopted a child. We are very happy....
Being married you have to have communication, friendship, unconditional love......Marriage can be a wonderful thing with the right person....good luck
2007-10-03 03:23:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I divorced because of the lack of communication. There wasn't any. My ex was a great guy and provided for me and our son with the very best of everything. I loved him with all my heart, but when we were having problems (as every married couple does) I would want to sit and discuss them with him but he never found the time. He avoided any and all problems between us, he was a good man in every other way, but I had enough with him shutting me out to where I fell out of love with him. I will always care for him because we share a son together. Now our son is 15yrs old and my son is going through the communication factor with him and he gets so frustrated with his dad, some things just never change. There again a very good father but no communication whatsoever!!! I guess its just who he is but I found out when it was too late. My advice to you is keep the lines of communication open or your marriage will faulter AND know just who it is that your wanting to marry. Congratulations and Good luck to you both!
2007-10-03 03:31:48 · answer #4 · answered by Maria 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Left my first husband, mutual, because we didn't have the same goals for OUR future.
Left my second husband because he was abusive and thought that a woman's job was to work, cook, clean and spread her legs all for him.
Be a friend, a lover, a companion, have compassion, respect, love, understanding. Be able to compromise, but don't always give in either. As with any relationship you must both work together as well as apart to keep the relationship progressing.
2007-10-03 03:27:49 · answer #5 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Why did you get a divorce?" You do not love, like, are want to be around the person anymore...It's not like in the beginning anymore and you fall out of love and grow apart. It sucks too when you have kids.
2007-10-03 03:22:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
One divorce was because he physically beat me infront of my son (not his) and I beat the hell out of him after that...I got arrested for it..go figure??
Another divorce was because he lied all day everyday. It was so bad that you couldn't find your way out of the b.s. anymore. Plus he put his hands on my son. That right there was enough for me even if he didn't lie.
2007-10-03 03:46:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was an abusive alcoholic with a girlfriend.
2007-10-03 03:28:13 · answer #8 · answered by Leather and Lace 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HE WAS A CHEATER AND LEFT ME FOR THAT WHOE..
2007-10-03 04:17:58 · answer #9 · answered by wenwen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋