I have an appointment with a lawyer but my husband is pushing me to make decisions and I haven't gotten to talk to a lawyer yet. I am 26, he is 42. We have been married 6 years and have a 3 y/o child. I am leaving because he is verbally abusive, controlling and neglective as a husband and father. He is a doctor and I am a stay at home mom. I am willing to let him have the house, what should I ask for in return? I don't want to take him to the cleaners but I don't want to be broke either. He is willing to pay my van off too.
2007-10-03 03:08:15 · 9 answers · asked by Barn Babe 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He also found out that his friend and I had been emailing one another in a romantic way. Nothing happened but he's kinda pissed. He has no proof though. It was all destroyed.
2007-10-03 03:10:03 · update #1
We are in Ohio, he doesn't want to sell the house, he wants to live in it and I don't mind b/c my daughter knows this home. I don't want her to have to adjust to two new homes. Plus I have horses and we have lots of stables and pastures and it would be a hard sale, he is willing to let me continue to use the barns so our daughter & I can ride. Should I say when our daughetr turns 18 he has to sell or give me 50% of it's worth?
2007-10-03 03:41:56 · update #2
We built the home after we were married. I did work before, but I quit working working to be a stay at home mom when we had a child.
2007-10-03 04:29:49 · update #3
I'm not a lawyer, but I've been through a divorce. Don't agree to anything until you have spoken to your lawyer, if he doesn't like it TOO BAD. He's older with more experience, talk to a lawyer before committing to anything. Do this so you and your child have something for a future.
2007-10-03 03:11:28 · answer #1 · answered by Elvira 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You aren't getting screwed over and if you fire this attorney and hire another one, not only will the new attorney have to backtrack and charge you for it you will also look like you are unreasonable to work with in the eyes of the court and be at a disadvantage. He has every right to hold off on continuing your case until you pay more. The DA will do nothing on that to help you. He can prove he billed your hours past the initial $3000. Your lawyer gave you an estimate based on what you told him in the beginning. Look at it like a bathroom re-model - anyone can quote you a price, but once you get into it and realize the pipes are rotten - it's going to cost more than you originally thought. If your husband has stalled on things, if his attorney is hard to reach, if more needed to be done in your case than originally thought, the cost goes up - it is just what happens in contested divorce cases. Come up with the $3000 and get your divorce settled. Don't switch attorneys and don't try to take legal action against your current attorney as he will withdraw from your case, and you will have a very hard time getting anyone else to take your case, as lawyers talk to each other - and if you bring a frivolous action over a legal bill - no one is going to want to represent you. Be careful.
2016-05-19 22:25:25 · answer #2 · answered by patsy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What state are you in? Some states are no fault states and any romantic evidence or hearsay of will not matter, nor will the verbally abusive nature of your soon to be ex-husband.
Taking him to the cleaners is not beneficial to anyone, especially your child. Try to be amicable. Your state may or may not have alimony and that will be set by the judge based on income, your employability, etc. Cost of living is also something to consider. Essentially you should ask for more than what you want in order to make a compromise. I went through a divorce, sought and won custody of my kids and did not drag her through the ringer. I get no child support or anything from my ex-wife.
Be fair, but above all for your child, take the high road and make sure that all of your thoughts on the character of your husband remain yours and are not forced upon your child.
I would say stick with the lawyer for your advice and just make sure that your child is taken care of.
2007-10-03 03:16:01 · answer #3 · answered by fatkidd_98 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk to your lawyer, and DO NOT walk away with nothing... it's nice he is going to pay the van off, but he is a doctor and i'm sure makes a comfortable living.
don't suffer financially on his account.... you have a home and have gained a lot since marriage. it's HALF yours!!! he needs to come up with the cash for at least 1/2 of the value of the home, if nothing else.
ask for it!!! tell your attorney that's what you want... and if you want some of the furniture and household items, take those too.
don't walk away empty handed. you don't deserve to struggle. you have become accustom to a certain lifestyle. and you will need furniture, sheets, towels, silverware, dishes, pots, pans, and other miscellaneous items... which you now own jointly with your husband. so take some of it.
don't sit back and leave with nothing!!! he has been abusive and controlling as you said... you have suffered enough. don't continue to suffer because you don't want to take the house from him.... you deserve your share, too.
2007-10-03 03:15:05 · answer #4 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Aside from the additional information you posted, you need to inform us whether or not he owned the home BEFORE the marriage or if the two of you purchased it after the marriage.
THEN you will get an answer.
Also, why have you not worked during the marriage?
EDITED BASED ON ADDITIONAL INFORMATION.
Then, in that case tell hubby that any and all communications can be handled through your attorney.
While I advocate trying to work things out to the mutual satisfaction of ALL parties to a divorce (and don't kid yourself, your child IS a party), I NEVER advocate entering into any legal agreement without the advice of counsel.
Your husband wouldn't advise a patient of his to perform their own surgery would he? So to you shouldn't handle your own divorce.
2007-10-03 04:16:51 · answer #5 · answered by hexeliebe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be afraid to take him to the cleaners, the judge will make sure everything is legal and he will draw the limits. You might end up on the short end of the rope if you settle too fast and ask for nothing.
Speak to a lawyer before you sign any papers with, or for, your husband.
You are fully entitled to child support, get that for certain!
At least ask for alimony, or failing that, get your van and half the fair market value of the house.
Ask for everything, but expect to get less.
2007-10-03 03:23:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I strongly suggest to get out of the marriage. I am married to a man who is abusive and it doesnt and wont get any better. mine held leverage over me so he could have his sexual fantasies come true and you wouldnt believe the tourment he put me thru. I will never be able to get married again because of all the abuse. You take all that is your share!! No matter what, then you wont have any regreats later!! It takes alot to be on your own especially with a child. Dont stay and take the abuse, it's harder and harder to keep picking yourself up after each time.
Also think of your child, you dont want your child growing up with that eiter!!
Do what you gotta do.
Good luck, and God bless you!
2007-10-03 03:24:08 · answer #7 · answered by queenlionus 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Talk with your attorney ASAP. Your hubby doesn't want to give you anything in the divorce except the pay off of your van. You'd be a fool to settle for that.
2007-10-03 03:21:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its unforunate that the guy whose wife screwed around on him with his friend is probably gonna lose so much that he worked hard for.
2007-10-03 03:13:39 · answer #9 · answered by big cec 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋