he feels he is living a lie, not true to himself. he loves her and care for her so much and dont wont to lose what he has estabished with her. they have never been married, she is 8 years older, but he is not happy, and his health and stressed level very high she naggy, compline, he feel she does not trust him, he was up front with her about his preferances for men and women fromday one.
2007-10-03 02:49:30 · 21 answers · asked by Reginald H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he has been honest about his feelings for men since day one than he needs to tell her that he has found a man that he thinks may make him happier than she does. It seems to me if she accepted this fact so easily from day one than she should have known the eventual consequences of marrying a man that had attractions to other men .. Talk to her about it, she seems like she must be a very understanding woman and may just give you her blessings Good luck!
2007-10-03 02:54:52 · answer #1 · answered by ~NIKKI~ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are women who don't have the desire for intimacy after being with a partner for any length of time. Men think these intimate thoughts every 7 seconds and if their needs aren't met by the person they are with, they'll find it elsewhere. If she knew from the beginning of his preference then it's not anything new. I have encountered many married men who are unhappy living with a partner who they don't have intimate relations with. They say they cannot move on because of the children, or for financial reasons, or where will they go if they leave. Husbands as well as wives have found a comfort zone and really don't want to do anything to disturb it by making their thoughts known. If he isn't happy she isn't either and it's doubtful the new man is. They don't sleep together, no affection and no desires. What a life! He is going to have to take a long hard look inside of himself and realize his love for her, or his passion for this other individual. But in the meantime he really isn't living a lie, he's doing what anyone might do for the relief of sexual tension. We choose our own fate in life and if he has made his choice he should let the lady go regardless of what they have accumulated together,,,.but in all fairness to her he should release her. I have heard that a gay relationship can be very intense which is what he is needing at the moment.
2007-10-03 03:32:00 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ick...when it's effecting your health, it's counter-productive. When people are unhappy and naggy, it means the are not happy with something within themselves. You were clear from day one about what your expectations were. She is not happy within herself. Her behavior is driving you both crazy. You care for this woman. You could try what 'real' married couples do and go for counseling. There are very inexpensive and free places to receive this. If you have communicated with her and she won't go for counseling, it's time to move on. You are not going to self-cure her unhappiness. If you've found a man, then you are gay. You need to be clear with her and yourself. Otherwise, you're doing yourself a disservice. Also, she's probably really unhappy because SHE'S LIVING WITH A BOYFRIEND WHO LIKES MEN...and her unhappiness and confusion in this case would be justified.
2007-10-03 02:57:29 · answer #3 · answered by maggieeld 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are using this woman to be a mother, that you didn't have when you where younger. You need to get out on your own, then go find a man that will make you happy. If you are gay than it is time to quit the sham of being with a woman and don't blame her because you are unhappy. Your fate is in your hands, You cannot have the best of both worlds, so you need to find out what world you want to live in.
2007-10-03 02:57:38 · answer #4 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YOU should just leave believe me do not continue the relationship. you do not want to stay so anything she does will you annoy you
and just let her know that you prefer to be with a man and leave, she probably will be hurt but i think the both of you will be happy in the long run men should not start relationships with women if they prefer men but will occasionally have sex with a woman that is so not fair. LEAVE
2007-10-03 03:17:59 · answer #5 · answered by Regina C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can he be living a lie and not be true to himself when he told her his preferences at the start of the relationship I do feel sorry for her in a world where aids is a issue
2007-10-03 03:20:47 · answer #6 · answered by RAINBOW 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter if it's a man or woman that you've developed feelings for...the fact is that you're not happy in your current relationship and you've started looking elsewhere. When that time comes, you have to move on. Don't cheat on her, just cut your losses and let her go. That's the kindest thing you could do if you really don't want to work on your relationship.
2007-10-03 02:57:05 · answer #7 · answered by Mel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of the relationship! No sense staying with someone that you love, but not in love with, have no sex with, and have found someone that she really can't compete with. If you were honest about your preferences for both men and women...she had to know what she was up against. You are not being fair to her by staying with her and not giving her what she needs and you are not being fair to yourself.
2007-10-03 02:56:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
then he needs to be a man and tell her whats going on how he feels, so she is not left out in the cold. i would rather my husband tell me that he no longer wants me than to live a lie, she may have a life waiting for her, if he is not the one, grow up and be truthful not a coward. that what he needs to do.
2007-10-03 03:52:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should leave. They should go their seperate ways and live their lives. No need in staying together and end up cheating or getting an STD. Go on and be happy!
2007-10-03 02:53:30 · answer #10 · answered by geminimom79 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋