If your Wife cheated on you with a married man at her job, would you be able to trust her knowing they still w

Question

knowing they still work together, even if i forgive her should i just leave her, she says the reason y she cheated was because she always suspected i was , with little proof. i have a son by her , married 15 years and have a house together. really what should i do , i wanna get a divorce but i don't want it to efect my son........HELP!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

NO! You better divorce her. It will affect your son more if you don't. I notice she justified her cheating by saying she suspected you was cheating. Does two wrongs make a right. Only in math. She just using that an excuse. Once a cheater always a cheater.

Answer 2

I can honestly say that if she cheated once she will probably do it again. No one cheats because they suspect a spouse is doing it, they do it because the want to. If she didn't want to cheat she wouldn't have, I think now she will just be careful and try not to get caught. A divorce will definitely affect your son, but wont a loveless relationship between his parents affect him too. Fighting, screaming, yelling, you don't want him to grow up thinking that's what marriages are. I think you should leave and try to do it amicably so your son's only stress is having 2 homes and not fighting parents. You also deserve better, I'm a woman, giving you a woman's perspective, ( I cheated before too, and while I regretted it, I thought about it again with the same guy. the opportunity just didn't present itself again, but she works with him so they will see each other.) Good Luck.

Answer 3

Ok you said she had little proof, and you never said there was no truth to it. If both of you have crossed that line, then the marriage to you all is not based on love, respect or honor. Fifteen years together is a long time to throw away, but maybe you should have done it 10 years before.
As for your son, he needs to be in a home where there is a respect for each other, he needs to be in a stable environment and that can be in a single parent home. So speak to your son, help him understand, get him help if needed and move on with your life. I wish you all luck.

Answer 4

If my husband cheated on me with someone that he worked with...he had better be prepared to find another job....because I really don't think I would trust either one knowing that they still will see one another at work.....Your wife's so called excuse for cheating is ignorant....There is NEVER an excuse for cheating.....and doing something for revenge is childish and immature.....If you really want to get a divorce......don't worry so much about it affecting your son....yes it will to some degree.....but how you handle yourself through the divorce and after the divorce makes a difference in how your son handles this. You can still be a wonderful father without being married to your son's mother.

Answer 5

If your wife is serious about stopping her cheating, she wouldn't have a problem with leaving the place where she works now. I believe once you have those strong feelings for someone, whether it's emotional or sexual, they're always there. You may not act on them, but they're there just the same. It's almost like an alcoholic or drug addict. In order for them to stay "straight", they need to break ties with old friends and acquaintances. Your wife needs to do the same. Also, you both should probably go to some kind of family therapist. Obviously there are things that man provided for her that she felt she didn't get from you. Maybe in order to fix your marriage, you both need to deal with some hidden issues.

Answer 6

It's always tricky when the cheater is still in constant contact with the person they cheated with (i.e. working together).
I, personally, would always be freaked out about it. Not saying you should be, but knowing myself, I know I could never trust in that situation again.
As far as what should you do - stay together? get divorced? the house problem?.... it's up to you. YOU need to decide when enough is enough, when a house means less than a piece of mind and you having a person next to you that you trust and not somebody who drops her knickers for someone she is working with.
The kid will understand eventually. If you're happy, the kid will be happy, too.

Answer 7

Do you think you can get over her seeing this guy everyday? What about seeing him at work functions? If you can't completely let go of the whole thing, you should divorce. I wouldn't be able to handle them together without getting paranoid. That wouldn't be a very happy marriage either. One thing about those who step out on their mate, they will do it again. She is trying to make her affair your fault. She alone is responsible for actions. If she was so interested in your marriage, why didn't she talk to you first instead of screwing around? Divorce is no fun for kids, but it is worse to live in a home where mom and dad can't stand or trust each other! Good luck to you!

Answer 8

First off in this day and age is it me or your to quick to walk away! 15 years is a lot and I am not saying this for you but I'm trying to be the voice of reason for you to think of your son! Man is suppose to be the forearm of his family and his household meaning if your marriage meant and means alot to you hold down the family and request that she look for another job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or she can keep the job but allow her to know that it's not a get out of jail free card!!!!!!!!!!! Keep your faith that Christ will see you through and if you meant what you said about not leaving because you don't want it to effect your son be more of a man then your wife being a woman and try to hang in there for him because he needs you! Try counseling, try church, try getting to the root of why she honestly thought you were cheating! Also keep in mind it isn't a joke going out here starting all over again by yourself it's cheaper to stay in the marriage! Try to find reasons to make it work! Something brought you guys together, go back and find out what?

Answer 9

Trusting after an affair by your spouse is a hard thing to do. You loose all trust for that person and you may really never trust them again. Do what you feel you need to do, its your family and the decision you make should be in the best interest of your child. You don't want a unclean environment for your son, but have yours and his interest in mind. Its your heart and mind that has to deal with those events.

Answer 10

speaking from experience, your son's life will be affected negatively if you stay with her. staying together for the kids never works out. do what you know you need to do; your son is old enough to understand. and there's always the saying: once a cheat always a cheat, and its true. its better to just pack up and move on.