how do you do for stop hating your spouse????

Question

I WISH I CAN FINISH MY RELATIONSHIP BUT IN THIS MOMENT IT IS IMPOSSIBLE HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH SOMEBODY YOU CANT STAND???

Answer 1

WOW, I have completely been down this road before. My husband was deployed for a year (sucked ash) and when he came back we, ofcourse, we were absolutly completely different people. I was actually wondering who in the world i married because this wasn't my husband. Then i had gotten pregnant for the first time right after he got here which added to every emotion us women have. Basically our marriage was in shambles, fighting, arguing, cussing, saying horrible horrible stuff, basically we hated each other. He was use to going out on missions, getting blown up, giving orders, taking orders, and/or whatever they do over there and i was use to the independance of pretty much doing whatever i wanted (staying up late, going to my girlfriends house whenever, working as much as possible, shopping whenever, not having to clean up after someone else ect...) and now i had some strange guy all up in my face telling me i can't spend the money i earn blah blah blah. One big factor in how we push through that is since your daily routine consists of you hating each other, change it. Dont go out with him tonight if thats what you would normally do, go with your friends, go shopping (dont buy anything you'll get in trouble for though hahahaha, it just becomes another reason to fight). Another huge factor that contributed to our success was talking together, not yelling (try not to, this one was very hard for me), talking, let each other know what the problem is and how it can be fixed. One area we always failed in was we always expected the habit/problems to be fixed immediatly,these thigns take a long time, some not as long as others. Also, if something is bothering you, make sure you let each other know because even though you are trying to keep things on an even keel, the thing that was bothering you will eventually turn back up in the next argument, get it done and over with. And if all else fails see a counselor, we had a marriage workshop that we attended (military provided considering the circumstances) which i definantly think helped him understand more of what i was going throught and same went for me too.

Answer 2

By remembering that you, too, have flaws and are not perfect. Whether you want to believe this or not, you also get on this person's nerves. Most of us don't want to see how we behave or act, and we don't like to believe that we could possibly be a problem - it's always the other one.

Since you are where you are right now - take advantage of working on your flaws and making yourself a better person - if you quit focusing on what's wrong with your other half, and focus on what is good in your life and how you can make other people's lives better by being kind, thoughtful, and considerate, your life will get better and your spouse may not get on your nerves any more - and vice versa.

Answer 3

Hate is such an ugly word.

The solution here is time. Take some time away. Take some time to cool off. See how things look in a month, or two, or three.

Maybe ending the relationship is the right thing, but be careful making a decision while your emotions are on a full boil.

Answer 4

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Answer 5

How do you stop hating your spouse? That is not an easy one but can be done..instead of saying I can't stand him/her find something good about them and focus on that and start saying positive things about that person instead of negative things and it will come naturally and the hate will go away and you will find kindness coming from you towards the other person...

Answer 6

Think of why you married him in the first place and find more reasons within what quality you choose to pick him as your spouse and stop point fingers blaming him all the time! Sometime as woman we need to be able to check ourselves as well!!!!!!!!!! Because a lot of times we are our own worst critic!

Answer 7

You have two choices. Live with it or divorce. As a wise advise person once said ask yourself this question on you better off with him/her or without?

Answer 8

Find a mediation service who can work with you to get everything worked out. Other than that, there's not much you can do.

Answer 9

Hate is not the opposite of love, indifference is.

Answer 10

Take a longggggg vacation.