I've been with my GF for over two years and almost everything is fine except that she doesn't like it (what I've come to find out/ realize) when I don't spend it on her. She gets upset and I get even more upset to the point where I think we wont last when we live together and I don't even know if its worth staying in the relationship.
Some of the points she brings out when I ask her why it bothers her that I spend MY money are : she's worried that I won't be able to provide for her/ support her etc. She wants me to spend more money on her. Since we first started dating we've been going half and half for everything. Now she is saying that while is not right for me to pay for everything that she would like it if she only paid 25%. I'm sure I am missing a lot of her points but you women can probably help me see her side. I have my own goals; if I want to buy whatever I want and can afford it I don't want to think about whether she'd agree with it or not. This is the cause of bikes.
2007-10-03 01:55:35 · 9 answers · asked by status 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hi....
you didn't say if you are living together but i'm going to assume you are.
if you moved in together, then you probably should have had a discussion about expenses before moving in? if you make more money than she does, it would be fair to divide expenses according to income. because if you bring home $500 a week and she brings home $250 a week, and are dividing everything in half, she's not going to have much money left to save or for things she might need or want to get for herself.
I had a boyfriend who made well over $40,000 a year... i'm on disability and dont even get $8,000 a year (temporary disability)... and he wanted over 1/2 of what i got a month? That didn't leave me with much at all, and he was a cheapskate to boot... rarely took me anywhere. I didn't go around angry about it, but i can't imagine a man who makes that kind of money taking money from a woman who only gets $600 a month? But whatever worked for him... i also bought groceries. So before each month was 1/2 way over, i had no money left at all. I guess he was greedy? I don't know.
As long as you are fair about expenses, and each pays according to your incomes, i don't see what is wrong with her helping out. If she's your girlfriend, well, it would be nice to take her out on a date once a week or so?
As for spending money on her and buying her things? Well, that is entirely up to YOU.
take care.
2007-10-03 02:08:45 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had this problem when my fiance and first moved in together.
The reason why I was upset was because he would go and spend "his" money on unecessary things, (clubbing, video games, expensive clothes, etc.) and then I would be stuck paying for most of the bills or buying all of the food with "my" money because he was broke.
I've never cared if he spent money on me, but maybe try getting her flowers once a week.
2007-10-03 11:26:35 · answer #2 · answered by JMC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's right, it's not right for you to pay for everything. But unless your goals include buying yourself expensive toys she shouldn't get upset that you don't spend excessively on her. Ultimately the two of you should have the same financial goals and if she cannot be happy without you spending all your money on her then it sounds as if the two of you should find ppl you are more compatible with.
2007-10-03 09:14:59 · answer #3 · answered by Neka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ahhh money has been the cause of most marriage breakups,it is good that you are thinking in terms of the future with her,you are on the rite track,soon she will have you paying for everything as if you were married, you need to set her straight, if she doesn't like it show her the door,you on the other hand need to realize that money in a household needs to b spent on bills first and other toys that you or your female companion want last this is a 50/50 decision ,toys should not always b just for one person only in a realtionship ,or the other person can become offended and the realationship will go bad,money.... in marriages should always b decussed on how its spent.
2007-10-03 10:09:28 · answer #4 · answered by sweetamishangel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I am a female and I guess I'm missing her point too. I think she is being selfish. You should be able to spend YOUR money however you see fit. I don't make my husband ask me every time he wants to buy something for himself and I don't ask him when I want to. We do however talk with each other if it is something big that he or I want and decide together if we need it or not. Other than that we do as we please with our money. As I said before she is being selfish in my book.
2007-10-03 09:11:51 · answer #5 · answered by rooksgirl17 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, I hate to say it but you need to move on. She is selfish and immature. Her goals are clearly not in line with yours. It's not your responsiblity to support her. A team relationship has equal contributors. You might make more than her, but she should contribute an equal percentage of her earnings to the relationship.
2007-10-03 09:12:00 · answer #6 · answered by real_kiss_fan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry guy but this is a "gold digger" alert if I ever heard one.
Don't spend your money on anything but me...blah, blah, blah!
I wish you luck with this chick, your going to need it.
2007-10-03 09:11:17 · answer #7 · answered by Ms. M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to drop that gold digger!!!
Just keep spending YOUR money on you, and keep pounding that butt till she leaves dude
2007-10-03 09:06:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Money isn't your problem, this girl is. Dump her.
2007-10-03 11:54:14 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋