Can you give me advice how to be relax and optimistic?

Question

I am so pessimistic and stressed at the moment. My problems are:
1- I just had a baby 4 months ago, I love her so much and I am happily taking care of her needs, but I have lost my freedom and don't know how to cope with the new life.
2- I am overweight, 60 kgs when I should be 50 kgs with 160cm height. I can't go on a diet because I am breastfeeding, and excercising is just too much work. I excercise every now and then but it doesn't help shaping my body at all.
3- My husband has a medical problem and is having an operation in 2 weeks, regarding our sex life, as we haven't slept together for 9 months.
4- I just can't seem to be interested in any sort of social contact and I just stay at home all the time, with seeing no body or calling no body. I want to make new friends, but I feel like I have nothing to tell them, or I hate my body and can't find a good outfit.
5- I want to start a self-business next year and I am now researching for it. But everything seems a hard work.

Answer 1

It is possible that you have postpartum depression, or it is possible that you are just adjusting to life with a new baby, which is pretty stressful. I think you should try and see a counselor if you have an opportunity to do so, or see if there are support groups near you or on the internet for new mothers.

I know your body is not where you want it to be right now, but I think you are being hard on yourself where that is concerned. Perhaps if the weather is ok where you are, you can take a walk with the baby every day in a stroller? Even an hour of walking can help you lose weight, and it's not stressful exercise.

With regard to the sex life, I hope it will get better. It may be uncomfortable to discuss with him, and I'm not sure what impact this has on your sex life.

I am sure you have a lot to offer to other people. Perhaps find a group of new mothers in your area if possible.

With regard to the business, you should see what resources there are to help people start new businesses in your area. I know there are a lot of such resources in the US, but I think you probably live outside the US.

It sounds like there's a lot on your plate, and any normal person in your shoes would have a lot of stress. Don't be too hard on yourself.

In terms of relaxation, I'd suggest you try meditation or self-hypnosis or baths, if you find them relaxing.

Good luck,

Dana A

Answer 2

Relaxation is firstly a state of mind, just as stress is.
Sexual relations are one of the many ways of showing how you feel for each other and should not be used as a template of how a relationship is going.

You sound like a good person, however at this moment in time everything seems to be happening at once and pushing you to the max, you have to learn to relax and sleep as your baby does, I hope the condition of your partner goes well in and after the operation.

Try contacting Social services as they may offer some help that will allow you to get some relief.

In time all things will change this is something I do know after bringing up 4 kids and working 12 hours a day. When 1 of them threw up on me I said "wait til you're 18 that's a pint you owe me", find the funny side to small bits even though now it may seem like combing your hair with a hedgehog.

If you need someone to shout at mail me.
Children are a life changing experiance, you have created a life, a mini person from 2 things the size of a pin prick, men cannot do it, they would moan far more than women do.

Good luck and best wishes.

Answer 3

Having a splash one is a existence changing experience. I had a splash one boy 11 months in the past and whether i admire each 2d with him, I do omit the liberty I as quickly as had besides. once you look at your record of problems that's going to look very overwhelming for you so attempt tackling them one by one. I joined a clean mom's team while my son grow to be 10 weeks old. we would social gathering as quickly as a week and chat. i discovered that it truly helped me socialize and meet new people who have been interior the comparable point in existence as me. whether i don't bypass anymore, i in my opinion take to a minimum of one yet another with one mom and we communicate and social gathering each and all the time. possibly in case you are attempting this you'll sense much less remoted. As for workout, attempt and time table a competent a million hour walk every day. The clean air would be best for you and your toddler. commence gradual, then paintings as much as a brisk p.c... strolling is suited workout. The intercourse existence does bypass down the tubes interior the 1st few months when you have the toddler....inspite of the shown fact that it gets greater useful. Do you have a buddy or family members which you will sense comfortable leaving your toddler with for some hours? if so, then time table a widespread "date night" for you and your husband after he has recovered from his surgurey. additionally, see in the experience that your persons and famly could come with the help of now and back for some hours to grant you a break from the mum and spouse duties, rather mutually as your husband is improving. in any case, i desire that this facilitates and which you're feeling greater confident quickly. Being a mom is a stressful interest and that's generic to sense overwhelmed nce in a mutually as so don't be so stressful on your self.

Answer 4

put some booze in the blender and put on jimmy buffet songs. then go outside and get some sun. hire a baby sitter before you do any of this and go for a bike ride to the beach. take a nap on it. go for a swim. go to the bar across the street and get another beverage. chat up the local surfer dudes. then go home and pass out. do this for about a week. then you'll feel great.

Answer 5

Anti-depressant medication

Answer 6

Practice meditation and Yoga.

Answer 7

Please call your doctor and describe these symptoms and believe me these are very telling symptoms