which is better: living in, getting married or living in before getting married?

Question

make a choice and substantiate...

Answer 1

An overwhelming amount of research shows that couples who live together before marriage have higher divorced rates than those who do not live together before marriage.

Marriage first, then move-in.

God bless!

Answer 2

Getting married is best as I will tell you in a moment.

Living in: People love to do this becuase you get to have the benefits of marriage without the marriage. You get sex, you get the relationship, the commitment, and you get to be home with each other every day. So what's the problem? Well think about it...if something does go wrong in the relationship you are pretty much screwed. You have a place in which the two of you are sharing rent/mortgage and now you get stuck with it...there is no legal recourse unless both names are put on it...no alimony to receive to help you maintain standard of living. ANd, the big one, is that in a live in relationship in which people are not married, it is so much easier to walk away over an argument...not even a big one. You aren't married, you just get pissed and leave.

Living in before getting married: Well, you start out like above and you survivie the hurdles of a relationship and finally tie the knot. Why? At this point you have been living together. There is only one reason why you would do it and that is for a tax break. There is nothing magical that occurs becuase you got married. The sex wont get better. The relationship wont change any. You already know what it's like to live together so you're not experiencing anything new.

Getting Married: You've dated someone you really love. YOu've been together long enough to know that this is the one you want to spend your life with. Maybe you've sletp with them, maybe you haven't. That's ok. You get married and you are now in a committed relatioship, with legal recourse, experiencing new and excited times in your relationship, learning even more about your partner, and beginning what should be a life long journey.

Answer 3

I has been proven more than once that living together before marriage is not a good idea.

Peoples true "colors" don't come out until after you get married. You can be living with someone and the day you get married all of sudden you find out who you really married.

I've read enough cases about before even getting to the honey moon, women have been beaten and God only knows what else. Don't get me wrong, it could be the other way around too. However, in most cases, it's the woman.

So how do you know? You don't, unless you missed all the signs or you ignored them. Love is a powerful emotion and everything else gets side tracked.

I know it's hard to believe this, but marriage also has to do with luck. It's like picking straws, sometimes you win, sometimes you loose. I was very lucky. My sister wasn't lucky. After 4 bad luck marriages she fianally figure that out. She's doing just fine now. It took many years to come back from that. She's single and plans to stay that way. She's happy now. I think is also has something to do with who you pick and why. That's getting pretty deep so we won't go there.

Living vs. not living together are choices people make and if they do decide to get married it could be a great love affair for the rest of the lives.

Answer 4

Although I do not hold it against anyone who chooses to live with their partner before marrying or as an alternative to marriage, I feel it is best for two loving partners to live separately until they are married. I say this because once a heart-felt commitment has been made, especially in the presence of family and friends, a couple will more strongly persevere in their pursuit to maintain their relationship, and thus their marriage. For what is a marriage if it is not a loving and committed relationship which has been publicly affirmed by family, friends, and the community in which the couple live?

Answer 5

I'm living with my fiance right now. We lived 3 hours apart before. I think its really good to get to know how someone acts and lives before jumping in on marriage. If you're religious then you may think its wrong. I am too but I know that I'm going to marry this man and when we get married I will know how he acts 24-7. I think that living together before and making sure he's right for you is saving money on an annulment or a divorce in the future.

Answer 6

Dating for a good while, getting engaged and getting married and then moving in together. Studies prove that over 50% of people who lived together before they got married will get a divorce. People these days don't value marriage the way that they should.

Answer 7

Getting married.

Answer 8

Plainly living in and not getting married. Im not scared of annulment neither of getting married. This opinion is not brought about by influence of other person but from experience. If two people are agreed to have a relationship that is a contract by itself because there is a meeting of minds. A marriage will take out the money out of your pocket so does annulment. What difference does it make? Marriage is a union created by men. Annulment is created by an irate lawmaker and implement such (maybe out from experience but I could be wrong). It is the meeting of mind and heart in the absence of paper will create more impact to the relationship. It formalizes by a written contract , well infact, can be nullified by circumstance guided by some certain factors. In living in, it doesn't create any pressures. Just let it go, let it go, let it go...and keep going...to hell with hypocrites and judgemental! Sometimes there is a thin line between decency and hypocricy...

Answer 9

Nowadays where divorce and anullments are rampant, if you choose to live in before you get married, you get to save yourself from the stress and hassles of divorce.
But I'm old fashioned so I chose to get married.
I just think you will always find something annoying with the other person. If you're just living in, when you get into disagreements that snowball into big fights that continue for days you will always have the option to move out. Unlike getting married, there's a life-long commitment that you (or at least I) would want to stand by.
Marriage was not meant to be easy. You always have to work at it. It is about compromise, and keeping the fire going, learning from and about each other everyday, and just staying together despite of the many difficult times.

Plus, if you are the spouse you're like the right hand. You legally have access to everything and no one can say, "you are JUST..." because in the eyes of God and the law you two are one.

Answer 10

Marriage is about commitment, not about test driving someone until he or she meets your criteria. When you marry your husband you'll be marrying for the good, the bad and the ugly. People who live together have even higher rates of divorce than the general population. This is primarily due to the fact that they have not fully committed their lives and hearts to each other.

Men and women are hard wired differently. We think and behave differently. The key thing is to marry someone who holds the same values, morals and beliefs as you. You Can Not change a husband. Only God can do that. You need to know what marriage is all about.

Marriage was designed by God to be a union between a man, his wife and God.

Genesis 2:24
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh

Romans 7:2
For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage

Heb 13:4 - Show Context
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.


Ecclesiates 4:12
Ec 4:12 - Show Context
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

A man is meant to be the head of the household and a woman is meant to be his help meet.

Ge 2:18 - Show Context
And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

There are alot of issues that need to be dealt with before the issue of living together comes into play. There are issues about purity, dating and the quest for love. In preparations for marriage issues of holy sex and being a help meet need to be addressed. You have posed a very complex question.

I suggest you read....
"Passion and Purity" and "Quest for Love" by Elizabeth Elliott.
"Created to be His Help Meet" by Debi Pearl
"Holy Sex" by Michael Pearl.

If you want to think about this logically...Why would a man marry and be committed to a woman who is meeting all his needs and desires? In other words, why would he buy the cow if he's getting the milk for free? The idea that living together is good means that a man doesn't have to commit, he can just see if he can "tollerate her, live w/her habits" etc. I can guarantee that in the best of marriages there will be times when a man an wife do not see eye to eye. The fact that they have committed to each other before God, their family and friends should mean that despite their differences they will live and work together. They will fight for their marriage.

There is no perfect man or wife, but marriage is a commitment to live together "in sickness, and health, for richer or poor until Death do us part!" I am not afraid that my husband is going to desert me regardless of what happens. He knows the same about me. We don't even threaten separation or divorce. We are in our marriage for the long haul and believe me we have been through a lot! We continue to grow together in love with each other and with God. Some days we don't like each other and our "honey moon" phase is over, but our love and committment is strong. We plan to grow old together. This would have never happened if we had had the opportunity to "test drive" one another because believe me each of us has enough flaws in our personalities to drive the other nuts. However, we have learned to live together, respect each other and love each other. Each of us has had to compromise and change and it has always been for the benefit of our marriage and our family.

Answer 11

married first. living together before being married is way harder.i tried that it didnt work now i am happily married to a man i didnt live with until i was married to him and 90 percent of the problems are gone get married first