After abortion arguments are taking a toll on our relationship....?

Question

Since having a very regretable abortion 10 months ago...I went through a bought of really bad depression. And I never talked about any of the things I was feeling or thinking about during that time. Then suddenly, I started acting really irritable and angry about lots of little things.
I take a lot out on my boyfriend. But, I really don't mean to. I feel so guilty after I do. Because I love him. I find this frustrating , too because this is not me at all.
We've been away from each other (not broken up - only away from each other) for a month now.When he talk to me on the phone he tells me how much he still loves me, that he's still 'in love' w/ me, misses me, about things in our future,etc...
He knows why I act out in relation to the bad feelings abortion- but it's hard to deal w/.
My question is. He's stuck with me this long through it. He maintains that he's still in love with me. Even though I fight so much; do you think chances are he'll stick through it and stay with me???

Please spare me the mean comments about my decision. I do feel bad about it- be satisfied with that*

BTW, we made the decision of abortion together. But hastily and had mixed feelings. We both were hurt. Just so no one thinks I was forced**

Answer 1

I think that if he does honestly love you than he will stick with you. You guys have been through a lot and no one else can understand your relationship obviously...but I would take this time off between you two and work on yourself. Realize why you are so angry and try and stop feeling so bad. It's in the past now and you more than likely had very good reasons to have an abortion. I noticed that you said regrettable when you mentioned it. Is this because you did not want it and he did?

Take some time and really listen to yourself...do things for yourself and stop focusing on the past. It will do nothing but destroy you and then your relationship with your boyfriend. Realize how lucky you are that you have a man like that in your life and go through the process of healing and being happy again.

Try working out, it's amazing at how much that helps. Talk to people who have been in the same situation as you are.

I sincerely hope you start being more like your old self...good luck.

Answer 2

It sound like you have both lathered up a pretty foamy case of resentment for each other. The best thing that you can do is be as open as possible with one another. If things start to get too heated in the moment, then give each other some space. If you find that together it is impossible to talk without blowing up, maybe you should try counseling. In the end, communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, even one going through such trying time.

In terms of your decision, it doesn't really matter who wanted what at this point, what is done is done. Don't blame one another. Accept responsibility, and ask yourself the question that really matters at this point, "Am I willing to do the work that is necessary to make this relationship work?" If the answer to that question is "yes", then hop to it, and don't let anyone get in your way. If the answer is no, then end the relationship, but you still need to find help for yourself.

Good luck.

Answer 3

After an abortion, your hormones are going to go a little crazy while your body finds its equilibrium. Yes, he has stuck with you through all the craziness and that's a good thing. I can't help but think that he does really care for you.

You might have feelings that you want to talk about that maybe you can't share with him. It would help if you have a trusted girl friend or someone else you can vent to. It can be hard to keep everything bottled up inside when you are dealing with something that has had a real effect on you. If you don't feel like you can talk to your friends, ask the clinic if they can refer you to a group or a counselor. Sometimes just talking it out is all you need.

Big hugs and best wishes for you.

Answer 4

Yes he will stick with you IF you stop the fighting! And the ONLY way thats going to happen is if you forgive yourself AND him if hewas in any way involved with the decision. We all make mistakes and bad decisions. We dont have perfect bodies OR minds. MANY things we do cannot be undone or changed. But WE can and must if our lives are going to get better for ourselves AND our mates!!! You will never forget but when it comes to mind you cant dwell on it. If you are going to have a happy future it is IMPERATIVE that TRUE and COMPLETE forgiveness take place especially toward yourself !! IT IS A MUST !!!

Answer 5

Hunny ive had an abortion to so you dont gotta worry about readfing awful comments from me :) and if any1 does go on there profile and block them (they wont be able to view your answers or comment on them)

Look i can preety much say your boyfriend aint going nowhere...You've got a good catch that understands what your going through. Mine was the same :) and i no you feel so bad for being mean to em and you just think why is he still with me!!

But dont worry he seems like a keeper lol : )

If you ever need to talk about it to you no not keep it bottled up inside email me.

I talked about mine and it was a massive weight off my shoulders..im still with my bf 2 years and going strong :)

Goodluck with yours, you and him will be fine dont worry

Answer 6

May not be for very long.There is nothing to regret about a irreversible surgical procedure like an abortion and to what purpose?You have a whole life ahead of you and a loving person to share it with you.let not a bad memory ruin a happy future.Just snap out of it,once for all.

Answer 7

You have implanted a serious guilt complex into the storage area of the mind. It will stimulate reactions at the conscious level (as you are experiencing) and really don't understand why you react the way you do.. It becomes imperative that you eliminate that trigger. Guilt does have its consequences. But can be eliminated quite easily.