although, i know i am ready for children (i'm 30), my husband just wasn't (he's 38). so, i went on the pill but ended up pregnant anyway. lately, my husband has been irresponsible with our finances and his job. he is on the verge of being fired. he wants me to "get rid of it" because of our current financial situation and the fact that he still isn't ready. i think he is being cruel and selfish. but i really do want this baby! can someone give me an outside perspective, please?
2007-10-02 17:21:01 · 16 answers · asked by sunnf10w3r 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I am not trying to be rude, but maybe you should consider getting rid of the husband instead of the baby. I hope it all works out for you.
2007-10-02 17:30:09 · answer #1 · answered by c and c 1 · 7⤊ 0⤋
I think your husband is being irresponsible on purpose because he do not want a child. For all you know everything that's happening in your finances and your marriage he could be doing those things on purpose thinking if he don't have a job and the two of you are having financial difficulties you will agree to the abortion. That baby is a child of God the same as you are no one aborted you or your husband because if it did happen you wouldn't be here. I feel you should do what you feel is right in your heart as well as in the eyes of God. If your husband will not support you in this then I say your marriage was over when he said he didn't want any children. Children are God's gift to us. You really need to pay attention to your husband and I mean really pay attention I think in some ways he may have you blinded.
2007-10-03 01:20:47 · answer #2 · answered by lilbitt5.0 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If we all waited until we were ready we would never have the Joy the children bring.
Mu husband never asked me to have an aborthion but before were were married to each other, he was 32 and I was 31 I became pregnant/ He had lost his job and when I told him we were going to become parents he just asked what was I going to do and I gleefully answered I was going to have a baby. Financially speaking timing was not the best. But he adjusted and Jokingly he told me our baby could be born anytime except a time that would interupt his Sunday night Wrestling between 5 and 7 on Sunday night. 9 months later Our son was born Saturday at6 :23.
We made the best of a situation we had not control over. I had to borrow maturnity clothes and we had to scrimp andcut corners but that was 24 years ago and that has been some of the most rewarding years of our life.
I think it is selfish for your husband to aske you to have an abortion. I child will bring so much joy and at the age of 30 for you. When does he think he would be ready? Once you biological clock is no longer able to work correctly? If you wait much longer you start to have health problems of the child to consider.
Good luck you. and Happy parent hood to you both.
2007-10-03 00:59:43 · answer #3 · answered by littlerascal711 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do think he is being irresponsible/selfish if you two were planning to have children at some point, but just not yet. But if you got married with him having told you that he didn't want children, and you understood that, then you are the one being irresponsible/selfish.
As to what to do. Myself, I would have the child. It was conceived in a loving relationship, by a married couple. The question is are you prepared - emotionally, socially and financially - to raise this child on your own, if it should come to that? As the only one of the couple that wants a child, then that is a possibility.
2007-10-03 00:31:46 · answer #4 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DON'T LISTEN 2 HIM!!!!!! =/
trust me, u have rights as well as him!
he has no right 2 tell u 2 "get rid of it" that's selfish!
do what u want, if he's on the verge of loosing his job, HE should work harder, not take away something u really want.
if u love him, & want the baby......
think about it, he's taking away ur right 2 choose weather u want this baby or not.....
ur old enough 2 make decisions 4 ur self!!!!
if he doesn't like ur desicion,
TOUGH!
remember, there is another decision than having the baby & keeping it, & an abortion.....
u should at least give it the chance 2 live,
adoption is also available,
yet keeping it is the thing U want 2 do....
it's UR choice 2 make.
don't let him affect it.
2007-10-03 00:38:16 · answer #5 · answered by animals_r_cute!!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow..well, maybe having a child will be the best thing for the two of you right now.. Either way he needs to learn how to be responsible.. and having a child will defiantly help that.. Things don't just happen, they happen for a reason. You two may not see it right now, but there is probably a pretty good reason that this happened right now, regardless of all the odds stacked against it. there is a reason for this.
If he is absolutely against it and there is NO WAY it could POSSIBLY work.. don't "get rid of it" give it up for adoption. There are a lot of people out there whom would love to have a child are unable. (me for one) so please, abortion is not the answer.. adoption would be the next best thing keeping it..
... Good Luck.. ..
...talk to your husband about all the options.. have him talk to other people.. don't make any rash decisions..
2007-10-03 00:34:43 · answer #6 · answered by angelalee76 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust in yourself and do what feels right for you. It's your body and ultimately your decision even though you would like his imput, I'm sure. I guess you need to decide whether he will come around if you keep it or whether you could live with yourself, and not resent him, if you terminated. It's a very personal decision and I'm very sad that you find yourself in this situation. Perhaps your hubby needs to realise that this happened for a reason and maybe it's time he stepped up. Whatever decision you make, take your time and make the right one for you. I really hope you can sort this out so everyone has a happy ending.
2007-10-03 00:55:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU are the one that has to live with this decision for the rest of your life. Your husband is being selfesh to expect you to do something that may hurt you every day . if you have ANY doubt at all DON'T do it!
Do a bunch of on line research about it and follow your heart.
Husbands can be replaced. a baby can't.
2007-10-03 00:39:02 · answer #8 · answered by raynboannie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you do not want to abort do not do it. I am pro choice but you will regret it and feel horrible! Its a very bad sitution cause either way it goes its going to drain your relationship. Its very hard when you struggle with finances along with child. We can relate but somehow someway you will manage because we have:)
Hopefully you can discuss this when you are both calm. Good Luck!!
2007-10-03 00:43:41 · answer #9 · answered by anjelahoy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think that you being the mother the final decision would be yours, not his. He may have the right to ask you for an abortion, but if you feel you love that child too much to do it, it is his responsibility as your husband to support you.
2007-10-03 00:33:55 · answer #10 · answered by bitoy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋