What do you think about this poem? God Bless.?

Question

My heart will always bear your name
No matter where I go,
And years will pass me by yet still
My love will always grow..

Along with every breath I make
I wish for your embrace,
Or just to gently place my hands
On your angelic face..

Right from the very day we met
I knew inside you'll be,
The girl who will complete my life
And love no one but me..

Your gentle touch, your sweet caress
Your most endearing eyes,
Are all the fills my soul with bliss
That goes beyond the skies..

More than the time I shall exist
My songs for you will play,
Until the stars all cease to burn
My love for you will stay..

And little drops of rain that kiss
The earth may fall no more,
But until then I'll treasure you
And lovingly adore..

Great as the kings of legends told
My words will never break,
And soon before your eyes unfold
A vow that I will make..

Dreams don't come true, or so I thought
But then you proved me wrong,
For I have always dreamed of you
And then you came along..

And so my sweetheart, look at me
And let me hold your hands,
I swear to love you all my life
Until forever ends..

Let's take this journey far across
Where ocean meets the sky,
I'll hold you close, I wont let go
I'll never say goodbye..

Even when the worst trials come
I'll stand and make it through,
And tell the world they can not take
Away my love for you..

Now and for always you will be
The love I wish to yell,
You are the greatest gift I had
My ever dearest Rachel..

Answer 1

Your Rachel will love it, it is a beautiful love poem.

Thanks for sharing

Answer 2

indeed, it is heartfelt love poem but you need to reconsider these lines:
- Along with every breath I make (!)
- Are all the fills my soul with bliss (?)
- Let's take this journey far across (make instead of take)
Where ocean meets the sky, (To or for - first word, delete definite article, the)
- Now and for always you will be (delete 'for')
- The love I wish to yell (yell?? better: proclaim or sing about)


good luck