I want to kill him!?

Question

While talking to a friend not long ago, he brought up the subject of his father. My friend is straight, however, because of his attitude and manner of dress, most people presume he is gay.

As we were discussing his father, he brought up something...he said that his father once told him that if he "decides" to be gay, [[decides? wtf...]], he will be disowned.

While we were talking, he laughed about it. We both support gay marriage, and it was angering to hear about this, but I managed to laugh, instead, at his father's idiocy.

But lately, it's really been bothering me. I've never met his father, but it's hard to leave it alone. I just want to scream at him!

Yes, I know that I can't go to a stranger's house, and yell at him. But, do you have any suggestions, for how to cope with my anger at him??

Usually, things such as this don't bother me quite as much. However, I can tell that, despite his laughter, it DOES hurt my friend.

He, too, has grown tired of the stereotyping. And now, he's been told by his father, that if he does not conform with society, he'll no longer HAVE a father.

Single mother?

Uh, no.

Parents are married. Always have been, always will be.

Strong Christians.

Homophobic, themselves.

But thanks, for the judgement and stereotype.

[[IDIOT....]]

Answer 1

There are so many people like this you have to learn to get used to it. Realize those type of people will always be around and you are a better person for being so open minded and not accepting the same ignorance they live with.

Answer 2

To Doomwarner:

You're calling a man who said he would disown his son for being gay a 'decent man'? I can't decide whether to be really irritated or amused by that statement. Anyone who would disown his child for being homosexual is not a decent person. This doesn't matter whether homosexuality is a sin or not. And that act alone would be going against the teachings of God in the first place. Seriously, lay off of the hypocrisy and think about stuff before you speak.

Homosexuals are 'beaten up' by closet-cased Bible-thumpers who take it upon themselves to act out what they so wrongly believe is God's will. You might want to actually attend a real church for once and read what God has to say in the Bible instead of spending your time on Yahoo! Answers making hypocritical, ignorant statements.

Answer 3

I know how you feel.

One of my friend's father's is like that. He hides behind his religion yet has cheated on his wife many times, treats his family like crap, and will beat up my friend if he found out he was gay.

The only thing is that my friend is gay.

He's insane, the father. My parents have even discussed how insane this man is. He's racist, homophobic, hypocritical trash who even said that I was fat! Wtf.

I mean, I'm not celebrity skinny, but I'm not overweight by far.

He never said this to my face, but told my friend and my friend told me. Which was kind of rude if you ask me... but whatever. He thinks all of my friend's friends are too fat, yet this man is very overweight himself.

He's trash, plain and simple.

And this friend of mine has a car and can drive yet his father won't allow him to go over to any friends of his that are girls because he thinks that he's going to have sex with them. I just want to scream that my friend is gay, but that would be a terrible, terrible idea and I'd never do that to my friend.

This man is a pig. He thinks I'm gay because my friend told him for some reason and the dad says, "Yea, that's cool. You need more girlfriends like that." And then turns around later and says, "I don't want you hanging out with girls like that. That's sin there."

What can I do? Nothing.

But I can vent about him online and imagine horrific things to come to him. That's about it.

So what can you do? Just remember that you are a hell of a lot more intelligent than he will ever be.

Answer 4

When I first came out one of my first gay friends told me about his ex-boyfriend. He had been raised LDS (Mormon) and when his parents found out his father, who was a deacon in the Church, not only disowned him but personally excommunicated him from his church.

I know how difficult it can be when confronted with hatred against gay people at a personal level, but the constructive thing that you can do is to not hide this part of yourself. You don't need to tell each and every person that you meet that you are gay, but you shouldn't make a point of trying to hide it either. You can't change the opinion of someone who is ignorant to the point of placing their own bigotry and hatred above their own child. Since it is your friend and not you, try not to personalize it so much and let your friend deal with his poor excuse of a father.

Answer 5

Just be glad that such bigotry is on the way out in society. It's very unlikely that he will ever change his mind though. There is a huge gap between older and younger people on the issue of homosexuality. I feel sorry for those gay people that lived in an earlier, and more intolerant time.

Answer 6

I think you should do somthing positive for yourself instead of obsessing about friends a**hole dad. Why not go to a PFLAG meeting where you can meet new friends who have mature attitudes about GLBTSA issues. I think that also you could throw out a conversation about how the 'decide' thing ain't true, and remind him that it is child abuse to threaten to disown your children. But be careful. Even relatives can be dangerous and abusive, and he has already verbalized his threat. As far as what to do with your anger...just limit your angry outbursts to 2 per year, and never let either of them last for more that 6 months! lol

Answer 7

Let it go you can not fix someone stupidity unless they are wanting to change it. It's like teaching someone history (a subject I enjoy and have a degree in) unless someone wants to learn it, you can't make them. So just let them be. To be upset is normal but you need to understand that not everyone will or is even capable of understanding everything, even if to you it makes perfect since. Just be thankful it did not rub off on your friend to. =)

Answer 8

I understand you completely, but.....all you can do is....get over it. You saying something will not change his mind nor will it make your world or your friend's world any better. So, my advice....get over it.

if you are going to fly off the handle everytime you come across an idiot, you are going to be too busy flying off the handle to ever find time to enjoy life.

Answer 9

Trust me, You're not the only one who feels that way! Just control yourself and don't bring yourself to your friend's dad's level! You're better than that!

:)