When one is having an affair - why is it so difficult to break it off and quit? I find myself fantasizing constantly about my lover and counting the days till I see him again. What should I do? I am being tortured by this....
2007-10-02 14:52:00 · 14 answers · asked by kittygirlwhoilove 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have a 1 year old with my husband as well....
2007-10-02 15:07:49 · update #1
All i can do is shake my head at you, and say look at the statistics 90% never work out. You have a 10% chance that it will work out are you willing to throw everything away for such a small percentage.
2007-10-02 15:25:48 · answer #1 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes, it's more about how the AFFAIR made you feel, not necessarily even the other person.
The excitement and thrill of the forbidden, the secrecy, and that new relationship energy can be addictive.
The best way to end something like this is to end ALL contact. Withdraw yourself completely. Within six weeks, you will find it much easier.
If your married and not willing to end the affair, then do the honorable thing and leave your husband. It's not fair to make your spouse live a lie. If your affair partner is married, then the same goes for him. His behavior is destructive for his family. Either commit to the marriage, or get out.
2007-10-02 15:05:54 · answer #2 · answered by joyh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cheated on my husband 12 years ago and got caught. We have worked past it but it has been a very difficult road. Today is our wedding anniversary and he still don't give a crap about it and it hurts. Leave the lover while you have a chance. Think about your baby and how it will effect him. It is totally not worth it. The little torture you feel now is nothing compared to the guilt and hurt that you will find down the road.
2007-10-02 15:15:08 · answer #3 · answered by littleme836 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good you have a conscience or you wouldn't be feeling 'tortured'.
You are so lucky to have been given the gift of marriage.
Recall why you married your husband in the first place.
Dump the lover and spice up your marriage or
Divorce your husband and continue with your lover.
2007-10-02 14:59:52 · answer #4 · answered by Casha 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband deserves to be with a faithful women who truely loves and respects him!
If you are going to keep seeing this other man on the side then u need to let go of ur hubby so he can move on and find real love with a women who will treat him with the love he deserves.
But if u arent willing to let him go then u need to break off all ties with the man on the side! Think of what effect it has on ur hubby and child! Break it off now while u still have a chance!
2007-10-02 15:19:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its all about fantasy and escaping from reality, as reality is sometimes hard to face. u need to break all contact with your lover, because once your husband finds out your marriage will be destroyed. u really don't know what its going to be like to live with the lover, and face everyday problems. prayer is the answer, and listening to your conscience.
2007-10-03 00:04:08 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you have allowed yourself to feel love for this person. Feelings that never should have been brought to the surface or allowed to happen. If you break it off, it is going to be painful; you gave yourself to this person-body and soul. The sooner you get out of this arrangement, allow yourself to heal and concentrate on your partner, the better. Prolonging it will only make it harder on you. Please do the right thing; you have no idea of the hurt you will cause your partner if they find out.
2007-10-02 15:09:58 · answer #7 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sort of answered your own question; fantasizing about them. Its something new, clandestine, passionate, but like any relationship it will cool down and you will get into a routine. what you should really do is ask yourself why you dont put that effort into your marriage?
2007-10-02 14:58:09 · answer #8 · answered by Beatrice C 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
pray for strength.. Let go of him right now... that's just hard duing the first few days/weeks but you'll recover later.. hang out with REAL friends who'll not tolerate any such acts...
Let go or get dragged?
2007-10-02 15:18:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never met anyone involved in an affair that didn't have this problem.
Best of Luck to you!
2007-10-02 14:58:45 · answer #10 · answered by justagirl 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋