My bf of a 1.5 years doesn't want more kids. He has 1 - previous marriage. When we 1st started dating he said he would have 1 more. Then suddenly he broke up w/ me last April saying that 1 day I would want kids & he would not. (Note that I didn't bring it up.) After 6 weeks we got back together, our issues were unresolved. He says now that he knows we still have issues to work out. Also, that it is my choice to stay knowing what he wants & on the flip side I feel the same way. 1 of us would have to give in 1 day. He says that he definitely does not want another child but then at times he says that deep down he knows that he would be depriving me of something. So what gives & what is going through his head? He talks about getting married & buying a house knowing that this issue is there. I am nowhere near ready to have a child, I love him to death & can't imagine life without him. I think deep down I would choose him over the unknown I just want to know that I am doing the right thing.
2007-10-02 12:22:20 · 7 answers · asked by rayneyblu 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
At least you aren't married yet, and you can get out of it. This poor woman was on here the other day talking about how she told her now husband before they got married that she was not going to have kids. At the time he was ok with it, but now he's changed his mind and now she's afraid her otherwise happy married will end because of it. She's kind of like your BF. She doesn't want to ruin his life, she wants him to have everything. But, she really does not want children, and she feels she can't give on that. Your BF is not a creep. He's just telling you the truth. It's probably killing him inside, but he doesn't want to lie to you.
In the end, before you get married, you need to make a choice. Can you live a life without children? Do you want to? Will he be enough for the next 40 or 50 years?
He's giving you a choice, and I'm sure he's hoping you'll pick him. But, he loves you too much to lie to you.
It's sad, but it may not work out in the end. At least you'll have found out sooner rather than later.
2007-10-02 12:38:02 · answer #1 · answered by Dolyn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he doesn't know what he wants either. He doesn't want another child but, doesn't want to deprive you of having one. Your no where near ready to have a child, etc. How about just having a relationship and not deal with the subject of having a child until later.
2007-10-02 12:36:32 · answer #2 · answered by acedelux 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you need to find someone who wants the same things out of life that you do and you want to be mother and i don't see anything wrong with that just not with this guy he has made it a point to let you know he doesnt want to be a father.
This is what marriage is all about comprimise and if you cant then dont get married to this man he is not for you.
best of luck
2007-10-02 12:32:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no way to ever know for sure if you are doing the right thing in life. That is why we have faith.
What you need to understand and/or accept, is this man is selfish, and probably will always be selfish.
Now decide if you want to love him for who he is and always will be, and make your choice.
If you do decide to marry him you have just forfeited you right to complain about any aspect of your future relationship.
Just keep in mind that you are worth so much more than this creep.
2007-10-02 12:30:02 · answer #4 · answered by box of rain 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been in your situation and it was one of the hardest decissions I have ever had to make. In the end I walked away. I wasn't willing to give up my dream of one day being a Mother and it wasn't fair for me to expect him to change his mind. We loved each other but we wanted different things. I've always wanted to be a Mother, ever since I was a child playing with my babydolls. But I haven't always loved him. I had a life before him and I have a life without him. It's hard but you don't want to wake up 20 years from now wishing you had had children.
2007-10-02 12:59:07 · answer #5 · answered by Carebear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is telling you the truth, straight out.... not lieing, you are taking a big risk, jumping into the unknown, Cinderella's castle is shut down for repairs., so look at the points, 1 day I would want kids & he would not, 1 of us would have to give in 1 day, does not want another child, he may not change his mind sister, I have seen plenty who haven't
2007-10-02 12:57:37 · answer #6 · answered by LV 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how about you two worry about kids once you get married, dont have kids outside marriage
2007-10-02 12:35:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋