In law issues?

Question

I asked this earlier but I was seeing if I could get some more advice. I need help with thanksgiving. sine I cant go to my inlaws they are comming to me. THe only thing is I a moving 4 months after I give birth in march, away from my famliy and out of state. Last year I did not get to spend thanksgiving or christmas with my parents. This year, since the inlaws are comming down and this is my last thanksgiving being near my family li thought it woud be nice if both of my families. Hubby got mad because we would be spending thanksgiving and chrismas with my parents and only thanksgiving with his parents, they live further away. I feel like he is punishing my parents because they live closer than his. THat has ben used many times before. It is just a few hours on one day. I have also heard of no reason why his parents would not like mine, he has never told anything. Is it unfair of me to want my two families to spend a holiday together?

Answer 1

No. It's not unfair of you to want that. But you're going to have to voice your concerns and feelings to your husband, or this will never get resolved. Sit him down, tell him the absolute truth, and go from there. See what he says. He might be just confused about your intentions bc you haven't told him. Or, maybe you've beaten around the bush, and he doesn't know what to think. Or, maybe he's just nervous about everyone being together, 'cause from what I gather, they have not met one another? That alone can be stressful.
Just tell him that you're in it together, and be supportive of his feelings as well - listen to what he has to say on the subject, and you might be surprised.
But you won't get anything done and neither of you will be happy if you don't open the lines of communication.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Let me see if I understand: You're pregnant now, due in March, then will move out of state 4 months later (July?). Last year you didn't see your parents on Christmas or Thanksgiving. You haven't heard of a reason his parents wouldn't like yours...they've never met? Not at the wedding even?

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. If you already knew they hated each other, that would be different...why ask for trouble. Tell him his parents can come back for Christmas too. You should get what you want sometimes.

We'll be blending three inlaw families, and since some of our parents has died in the last couple years, it's nice to have a big old clan on Thanksgiving. We'll have my dad, me, my kids, with my daughter-in-law's mother and step-father, my son's son and his mother, her boyfriend and their two other kids; my sister with her daughter, her ex-husband and his mother; my other sister and her husband and kids and all of his siblings with their spouses and kids and a couple of those kids have kids. It may look like a circus, but it beats the alternative...2 or 3 people picking at a chicken. My ex-husband, his wife, sister and mother live somewhere else or they'd be here too.

Try it. If it doesn't work, you never have to do it again.

Answer 3

In the movies everyone gets together and it should be like that!!!!- it would be different if both lived far away but since both will be 'in the area' I'd say it's a great chance to have a big family dinner. It would be totally unfair to leave your parents out especially because of how close they are!
Is the first poster your husbands mom?!?! LMAO sounds like it to me!!!! I don't think family are stressful and shouldn't be treated as burdens!! You shouldn't have to chose between your parents and your husbands parents. THE MORE THE MERRIER!!!!!!!! It could be so much fun and a great time to get to know each other better!

Answer 4

it is obviously NOT unfair... but there is obviously an underlying issue here. your husband feels slighted somehow and so must you to be making a mountain out of a mole hill. I have been in a similar situation as you and my ONLY reccomnedation is NOT to give your husband a hard time about this. Let him know you support HIS (not your decision). I get the feeling that he might think that you value your parents more than his authority or presence. that your parents are more important than he is. So i would first try to feel this out and really let the issue go. If this is not a life and death situation ( and neither sets of your parents are in such bad health that you feel you MIGHT loose them in the next 6 months) then just let him know the decision is up to him and that you support it. it would be nice if both sets could come, but maybe he is thinking logisically. having one set over is very stressful for anyone, having two sets over is MORE stressful... yhou must try to think like him and give him due benevolence, which means leaving decisions up to him and then following through with a good attitude... old fashioned i know, but guess what... it works..... has for thousands of years for many woman and 7 years for me...