I am in my final year of uni as a Law student and obviously had plans to have a sucessful career and have applied for a graduate teaching course. To cut a long story short I am in a happy relationship with my boyfriend of 2 years and despite being on the pill I have fallen pregnant. Im very shocked and confused, the only thing i can put it down to is not taking it at the same time each day. Anyway as much as I know I could could have a great career I can't help but be happy about this, and want this baby more than anything, I don't think I could go through with an adoption! I have a student loan, no home of my own and no full time job, everything is telling me no but both me and my boyfriend want this baby. It would not affect my final exams as the baby is not due until another 2 months later. I would really appreciate any advice ! Thank you for reading.
2007-10-02 10:29:47 · 37 answers · asked by melanie l 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
At least you have a loving partner. 20 is not the ideal time to have a baby, especially since you're still in university, but it sounds like you're very mature for your age. I have friends and family members who had babies at 15, 16 and 18, and luckily also had great boyfriends/husbands. They made wonderful families, and are still married two decades later. So it can be done. If you have an abortion, you would never know what would have happened, and would probably feel a lot of guilt and regret in the future (especially after you did have children). So I wouldn't go that route. It's probably best to keep the child, if you can give it a good home (especially if you marry your boyfriend). But if not, you can give it a chance at a good life by adopting it out to a good family. Those two options are better than the first (abortion) -- if you were even considering that one. Good luck! p.s. I have 3 children, and all are blessings!
2007-10-02 10:37:54 · answer #1 · answered by Char 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hun only you can answer this question.. A baby does change your life more than you think that it will..It takes a lot of money to care for a baby too.. If you want to do what is best then think to yourself can I give this child everything that I want it to have or not? I definitely know that you have enough love but that's not what I'm talking about. I mean can you give it stability of a family life, give up going out with friends, staying home to take care of them when they are sick, is your boyfriend going to be there in the future to help you out or is he going to get scared and leave you? These are all questions that you need to think about.. A child deserves the best life that they could get.. I'm not meaning to sound rude or crude or anything like that these are my opinions only.. Then the next thing you should maybe think about placing this child for adoption and giving them more and a life with stable parents.. I'm in know way trying to sound rude or mean to you.. I hope that you will be able to make your decision and do the right thing for you child.. In the end your child will love you no matter what you did.. If you decide to place for adoption they will be proud that you made something of yourself and be happy... An open adoption is a great choice you would be able to know how your child is and growing... I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide to do... Thanks
2007-10-02 19:00:26 · answer #2 · answered by friend 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am always surprised to hear people say that they are "shocked" that they got pregnant on the pill. Do they not tell you when they give you the pill that it is not 100% effective (even if taken PERFECTLY)?
Anyway, that's beside the point... in answer to your question, you said you and your bf both want your baby. You are adults and capable of making your own decisions. So, listen to your conscience (not everyone else) - have the baby! We try our best to plan out our lives, but in the end we have to accept that sometimes things just happen that cause us to have to reconsider our priorities. It sounds like you've already reconsidered yours and determined that a baby is now more important than the plans you had before this baby was around.
If you want the baby and have an abortion anyway because of what other people say, you have a much higher chance of seriously regretting your decision.
2007-10-02 10:35:39 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs.P 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No, I was 20 weeks and 5 days before I felt my baby and it was when I was laying on the sofa for quite a while one Sunday morning, I finally felt her. And it was only for a little while and then I didn't feel her again the rest of the day. Since then I have felt her at least once a day. And it keeps getting more noticeable as the days go. Some women do not feel their babies until they are 22 weeks, so I wouldn't be too worried yet.
2016-05-19 17:00:10 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think just the fact that your in law school shows that you are not just some pregnant dumb chick..by a long shot sometimes things do happen that we can't prepare for just in my opinion if I where you I would keep my baby because think about how many women are trying so desperatley to have children it's truly a blessing I think you would be a beautiful smart parent...I could can understand your reasons for not wanting to possibley keep the baby if not then please give her to a good home with a loving married couple and make sure it is an open adoption which means you have the right to see if her when ever you want to and that she has the right to know who you are
2007-10-02 10:43:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you and your boyfriend both want this wonderful child yall should do all yall can to keep him/her. In the circumstances you are in, I would think hard about it on my free time and discuss it with my boyfriend. Ask questions like how are we going to afford him/her or where would we live?
If you have no answers or you still think you cant take care of the baby adoption might be the best thing. I gave my child up for adoption and I just had her on the 19th. Yes it was hard but she is still in the family. She is with my boyfriends sister and I believe that was the best thing for her because we couldnt raise her and I believe she deserves better. I thought i couldnt handle giving her up for adoption but I have done very well lately. Adoption isnt a bad thing if you know its best for your child. Its in the childs best interest. Im not trying to pressure you to give him/her up for adoption just letting you know what i think. I believe you will make the right decision if its keeping the baby or giving it up afterall no judgement or love for the babies life is stronger than a mothers. Good luck I wish you the best.
2007-10-02 10:43:22 · answer #6 · answered by ohyahitstayler 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Surely you aren't thinking about abortion....I think you will be fine. If you both want this baby then go for it. If you can still finish school while being pregnant I don't understand the problem. Where do you live now? How do you pay for things now? If it is your parents, then I suggest breaking free of them, and getting a job. It is not impossible to go to school and have a job. Plenty of people do it everyday.
I am not judging you or anything but when you had sex, you know about the consequences. Even if you were on the pill, nothing is 100% safe, so I say have the baby and you will be fine.
2007-10-02 10:39:56 · answer #7 · answered by **Mom of two angels in Heaven** 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was in the process of completeing my Masters Degree in Psychology when I got pregnant. My daughter wasnt due until 3 months after I was to graduate. And I was thrilled to death about having her, she however came in March not July as she was scheduled to and was profoundly premature which caused her to be sent 134 miles away. Long story short I spent most of my weekends instead of studying traveling back and forth to be wtih her.I however was married (to a man that left when she was born) and as a result ended up back at my folks place, after I started working I was able to afford to move out and I did. I wont say being a single parent was super easy but its easier finacially if you have an education and a job. If you both want this baby then I say keep it and raise it you can do it after all where theres a will theres a way right?
2007-10-02 10:37:00 · answer #8 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
With what you've told, yes, you should have the baby. As far as getting pregnant on the pill, some people do get pregnant on the pill and it's not necessarily because of when you took it (I was notoriously bad about taking mine the same time and I didn't get pregnant)....it just happens. It'll take some work with a new baby, but from the sounds of things I think you'll get it all worked out and have what you want. Good Luck!
2007-10-02 10:35:42 · answer #9 · answered by terlynn_1370 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes. Your 20 years old you have lots of time to have a career. you could regret not having the baby for the rest of your life. If you both really want it then have it. i was shocked when i found out i was pregnant as it wasnt planned and i was in a new relationship but everything has worked out really well and we are just waiting for her to be born now. good luck
2007-10-02 10:44:46 · answer #10 · answered by trixiepre 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋