I told my ex-fiance he was lucky that Im willing to take half the responsibility for our failed relationship. My father has spent almost $6000 that cannot be gotten back for the wedding that was canceled. Im having the ring sold to cover MAYBE a third of what my family has spent.
My ex thinks legally the ring is his. Is he right? (its still in my possession)
2007-10-02 08:31:50 · 44 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ALSO this ring was given to me at Christmas... ive read that that may change things as it can also be seen as a christmas gift.
2007-10-02 08:43:13 · update #1
All i can get for the ring is around $2000. A third of what we can NOT get back. That 6000 is deposits that are not refundable. This was a big wedding that everyone agreed on.
2007-10-02 08:56:05 · update #2
Give him the ring back when he comes up with half the expenses of the wedding.
2007-10-02 08:35:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
An engagement ring is a conditional gift given in contemplation of marriage. In Iowa, Kansas, Michigan, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin, you must legally return the ring. In Montana, the ring is considered a gift and does not have to be returned regardless of the circumstances. In other states, if the guy breaks the engagement, the girl keeps the ring...if she breaks it, then she returns the ring. As for all the money already spent, consider it a small price to pay to keep from being married to the wrong person. Next time, opt for a smaller, more intimate, less expensive ceremony. Also, if the guy did, in fact, break the engagement after a substantial amount of non-refundable money was spent, you would have a civil case against him in which you/your dad can sue for half of the expenses incurred. You should first make provable efforts to recoup the money...send certified letters to vendors, etc. explaining the situation and request a refund...save any and all correspondence. Then file suit for half of what you can't recover. Sorry it didn't work out for you, but glad you forund out now.
2007-10-02 08:53:55 · answer #2 · answered by Kimberly C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are correct, that if it was given to you at a holiday, it can be looked at as a gift. However, you have to prove that was the reason and not some other reason (ie - an anniversary or some sort).
It also goes back to who broke off the engagement. If he called it off, you can technically sue him for breach of contract and therefore be awarded all monies owed to you and your family. However, if you called it off, then he has those same rights. And if that was the case (that you called it off), it may benefit you to let him have the ring, so that he doesn't try to sue you (that is if he is smart enough and tries going to an attorney).
I would probably hold onto the ring to see if the two of you can work it out before I sell try to sell it, because the reality is that you will not get much for it. You may also want to seek legal advice as to the best way to handle this. Your attorney may draw up a contract that the both of you sign saying that the unpaid cost will covered as such.
Be careful and get true legal advise, not advise from people who don't have a legal degree.
2007-10-02 09:04:05 · answer #3 · answered by Bob D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he bought the ring, and the engagement is broken, legally the ring should be returned to him. An engagement ring signifies a contract between two people that a marriage is to take place, and if the contract is broken, the ring should be surrendered.
That's the legal way to look at it.
I on the other hand, would say that he would get the ring back once he pays half of the expenses for the wedding that never happened, or I would throw the ring in his face and tell him to go to hell.
2007-10-02 08:45:40 · answer #4 · answered by Ms. GTO 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what state you live in. In most states you ex is correct. A ring is given "in contemplation of marriage". If the marriage doesn't happen then the ring is whomever purchased it.
However, some states do have some consideration as to whom caused it. I would check with an attorney. If you don't give it back and it's legally his, he can sue you for the value of the ring.
On the other side you can sue him for half that money your parents spent (assuming that the wedding was called off mutually or because of something he did).
However, there is no legal theory that give you the right to take his property to cover damages he may have causes you.
2007-10-02 08:41:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I believe that the ring should be returned to the man. In this case it is a little unclear you obviously have spent a lot of money on the wedding. Did he spend as much as your father? Who broke off the wedding plans so close to the time of the wedding date? There are alot of other factors involved. By rights all the money that was spent on the wedding that could not be refunded should be added up and then the rings value should be deducted. The debt should be divided up fairly between you both if you were jointly at fault.
2007-10-02 08:45:49 · answer #6 · answered by Queenie 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh give him the ring back will you? Its a point of pride and nothing more.
Whatever the reason for this failed relationship let it die and be thankful you're rid of it. So your dad's out $6000.00. How do you think he feels and hey...you agreed to the marriage anyway right? So you made a bad choice. Maybe you didn't see whatever came down the pike coming but it was an expensive lesson learned.
Give him the ring. Friggin' thing is cursed anyway so why keep it? Now...let's see which of you is mature enough to handle this. Him by not asking for it anymore or you by handing it over.
2007-10-02 08:47:43 · answer #7 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
By law an engagement ring is a promise of marriage. If the marriage doesn't happen the fiance gets back the ring in most cases. If he gave it to you as a Christmas gift or birthday gift then you can keep it, as gifts are not returned.
2007-10-02 08:42:12 · answer #8 · answered by mafiosu 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really can't stand him and keep claiming you are taking the moral high ground because you are so superior, why in the HELL do you want a constant reminder of Captain Asshole on your finger?
Oh wait, You're selling it. Riiiiggghhht. What part of the wedding plans can't you get a refund on? Come on - that's not the reason. That's horsesh*t. Selling the ring. Right. As if you can get any money for *that*. Come off it.
you = still a little bitter materialistic gold digger. Right? Right.
The real moral high ground? Drop everything and walk away. Lesson learned. Choose wisely next time.
2007-10-02 08:45:30 · answer #9 · answered by filthy_crumb 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Who broke it off? If you broke off the promise..then he gets it back. Normally that's how it works but it sounds as if you came to an agreement about the whole thing??
If he broke it off, you keep it.
That is nice of you to take half the responsibility and i feel for that money that is gone now.
If i were him i'd be fighting it too but since you have the ring and are taking half the responsibility, agree to sell it, give him half and put the other half towards paying back what they lost.
2007-10-02 08:38:56 · answer #10 · answered by Dude 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The correct (read etiquette) way to handle the situation is to offer to return the ring to the man if the broken engagement was a mutual decision.
If it was his decision to end the engagement then he should offer to help recoup some of the losses from the planned wedding.
2007-10-02 08:37:09 · answer #11 · answered by JillyBean 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋