We got married 2 months ago & still haven't consummated the marriage. I have NO desire for him & felt this way before we got married but went thru w/ it because I didn't know what to do. What do I do now?????
2007-10-02 08:07:31 · 29 answers · asked by sgb 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We were married by a JP, he & I both recognize that we don't have sex. I just get no pleasure from him specifically. We were great friends for years & obviously thought this was a good idea but I know now I really made a mistake. He says he loves me & doesn't care that we don't have sex. That seems weird to me. I care! I just don't want to do it with him.
2007-10-02 08:57:53 · update #1
What do you want to do? Is he making advances to you and you are turning him down? Do you want to be married?
Make a decision then take action!
2007-10-02 08:10:36 · answer #1 · answered by AngiesHusband 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never have gotten married if you had no intention or desire to sleep with him. Either you find a way to enjoy sleeping with him (marriage counseling maybe to find out if there are under laying causes) or you get your marriage enalled on the grounds that you were never able to consimate your marrage. It is not fair for either of you to be in a relationship with no sex. Sex is a healthy part of marrage and if you can't have sex with your husband, something is wrong.
2007-10-02 15:14:18 · answer #2 · answered by littleone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
7 Months ago you cheated on your Fiance (Whom you eventually married), and seeked advice on how to break up with your "lover" as you wanted to be with your best friend - Fiance
6 Months ago you seriously contemplated calling of the marriage (You didn't)
5 Months ago you contemplated suicide (You didn't)
2 Months ago you went ahead with the marriage
2 Days ago you contemplate annulling the marriage
Now you wonder what to do?
I am happy to say that the answer is easy:
1- Seek psychological help, as it is apparent that you are not able to make rational decisions.
2- Admit to and apologize for your infidelity
3- Get a divorce
2007-10-04 07:46:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF you had sex prior to your marriage with him then you HAVE consumated your marriage as far as the law is concerned. Had you not then you could have the marriage annulled...now if you want out you'll have to get a divorce. As far as going through with the marriage because you didn't know what to do...Don't get involved in ANY relationship unless you know what you are doing...obviously that could be quite awhile for you.
2007-10-02 16:11:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have to communicate this to your husband. Counseling for you both may be in order. Sex and intimacy are very important factors in a marriage. If this man has a pulse, he's going to want and need sex. The majority of women require atleast the intimacy that sex provides. Evaluate what is really important (both your needs and desires in general) then consider counseling and communication.
2007-10-02 15:13:20 · answer #5 · answered by maggieeld 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two are in dire need of marriage counseling. Get it or get an annulment. I suspect you were too young to get married in the first place, but now that you are, you should at least make the effort to see whether it'll work in the long run.
2007-10-03 00:02:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to end it. You do not want to be with someone you have no desire sexually for. You don't want this it get worse. And what if you do have sex finally and have a kid. Now you are stuck with a guy you don't like and a kid with him and are stuck seeing him for the next 18 years.
Move fast before it is too late.
2007-10-02 15:18:29 · answer #7 · answered by L T 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
And people wonder why the divorce rate in this country is so high???
Why in the world did you get married in the first place?
Get an annulment!
2007-10-02 16:59:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should have never gotten married in the first place
Desire is a very big part in a relation ship and if you have none then you will get divorced sooner or later , so it is best to go ahead and get it over with
2007-10-02 15:12:48 · answer #9 · answered by cj10 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand people these days! Marriage isnt a freaking game! Oh lets just get married and get divorced like that. You should have never married him and made those vows...I think you should just live with it.
2007-10-02 15:22:53 · answer #10 · answered by must<3dogs 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go see a therapist right away. I almost never recommend this but its time for some serious action. It is not fair to you or to him. I could say to just get out of the relationship or to suck it up and deal with it BUT you have to find out what is causing this - it isn't normal. Salvagable yes, but normal, no. Get help quickly - don't spend another day miserable. You owe it to yourself and your spouse.
2007-10-02 15:20:12 · answer #11 · answered by RLW 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋