I have a spouse that hit on a friend of mine. I had my friend call him back and talk to him on speaker phone.He flirted and when she asked where was I he said Amy Who? I was saddened crushed and angered but
.Then I found out he told my daughter, his step daughter23, that he wished she would come into his bed at night three years ago.
.I need some advice.I am in a state of emotional shock.
What do I do now.I am devestated!!!!
2007-10-02 07:54:56 · 22 answers · asked by angelbaby1 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am disabled and cannot work full time.I cant stand to be around him I feel trapped .I have no where to go or I would leave.Is there someplace that I can get some emontional support so that I can become strong.I have been beaten down but I want to live again....alone What kind of man does this
2007-10-02 08:08:03 · update #1
Thank you for all your support.I just needed to hear it from others.I will make a plan
2007-10-02 08:22:26 · update #2
I don't even know why your are soliciting advice. You know what you have to do. This man, and I use the term loosely, does not deserve you and obviously doesn't respect your relationship enough to take it seriously. There really is no point in trying to work it out. He is not going to change! I can imagine that this is hard to read but leave him. When he asks why, tell him bluntly and without emotion. If you let your emotions and passions guide your communications with him, he will use them to manipulate you as I am sure he has already done. Just leave him!
2007-10-02 08:03:54 · answer #1 · answered by James H 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Of course you are shocked. As you well should be. There is something fundamentally wrong with this man's faculties. It is not your fault that you didn't see this coming. This type of person is very calculating. You need (for your own sake and your grown daughter's) to remove this man from your lives. Staying in the situation will be counterproductive and you don't want your daughter getting the idea that this behavior is an okay thing. This kind of person seldom changes, nor does the situation.
1) First, you protect yourself. Arrange finances.
2) Tell this man of your findings and ask him to leave and don't look back.
I realize you have an emotional investment but staying in this situation will be devastating. Proceed with caution and I wish you the best of luck. I've been in your shoes.
2007-10-02 08:02:32 · answer #2 · answered by maggieeld 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a pervert .. and needs counseling big time.
Granted his step daughter was 20 at that time so it can't be considered child abuse.. but still it is very disturbing.
He is obviously not taking his marriage to you close to his heart anymore, especially if he is flirting with your friend, denying he doesn't know you, and trying to get into his step daughters pants. Who knows what else he has done.
I would seriously be filing for divorce papers.. ASAP.
You do not need this stress, or emotional abuse.
I am sorry your hurting... but turn that hurt into more anger and slap his *** with divorce papers and get the house and everything else u can out of his infidelity.
Find a man who will be faithful and love u like you should be
2007-10-02 08:06:49 · answer #3 · answered by linda_c_44 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OMG! Did he actually have sex with your daughter?? Like another answerer said, turn your hurt into anger and get yourself a lawyer...
Check the yellow pages, or online for places that offer councelling...this is much more than I would be able to bear as well.
Take this man to the cleaners and fight to get your life back on track.
Just remember, your daughter is and was an adult at the time, so she's as much to blame in this, if in fact they did have sexual relations together.
2007-10-03 01:57:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like I tell all the women on here hide the money and all assets.Get a good lawyer and take the rest of his life away.Oh then you could probably get on The Springer Show and let the world know what he has done.Or the few people that watch the show.Good luck.
2007-10-02 08:05:36 · answer #5 · answered by notagain49 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well...options are plentiful I guess. Apparently this business has been ongoing for 3 years. And the stepdaughter??? Jesus Christ...his mind has truly taken up residence in his lower abdomen. What a moron.
Divorce? Maybe too extreme. But you'll have to address this...no doubt about it. naturally you can expect him to toss out some type of a defense mechanisim...like "They led me on". Typical chicken sheet defense...and a weak one at that.
I say call him on it. It'll either make life lousy or he'll claim to see the error of his ways. In any case that should give you a jumping off point to go from.
Stepdaughter.....Man....what a fool.
2007-10-02 08:01:07 · answer #6 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Don't be shocked, be relentless, get a divorce lawyer and a set of new locks for the door to kick him out. You can get counseling for yourself if you need that but don't put up with this guy any longer.
2007-10-02 08:09:24 · answer #7 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You leave him. Simple as that, this man has no respect for you, has come on to your friend, and your daughter, and what reason would you stay?
I love my husband dearly, I would do anything for him, but if he were actin the way yours is, he would be lucky to have his life. I know its easier said than done, but there are some things that should just be unacceptable. This is one of them.
Its gonna be hard, gonna hurt like HELL but you have to do what is best for you.
2007-10-02 08:06:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
So he cheated or he made a clumsy, sleazy come on to your daughter? There is a difference. If he cheated with her, then they are both at fault. If he came on to her, then he's the sleazy scumbag who needs to be dealt with. Time to leave. Disabled or not, you can't rely on this fool can you?
2007-10-02 09:34:23 · answer #9 · answered by Blade_III 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey get out of there.Pack your stuff and go to a friends,or stay and put up with it. which one would you rather do?Are you willing to let this man humiliate you.Degrade you as a woman.Are you going to wait till he cheats[if not already]Us women need to start standing up for ourselves instead of getting walked on.[i do relize men go through this to]I know it's hard to walk out ,but not really.Just put one foot in front of the other and go!!!!
2007-10-02 08:06:03 · answer #10 · answered by lollypop 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋