It hurts so bad! I really would like to think he's telling me the truth, but I dont see what he sees in the mirror. How can I be more confident in myself lean to take a dang compliment from the man I'm in love with?
2007-10-02 07:44:48 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you are to him. What else matters ?
2007-10-02 07:46:46 · answer #1 · answered by wizjp 7 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Hey...Babyluv...I will be honest with you...you will not trust him about your beauty until you see your own beauty...
I went through this...people would always tell me how pretty I was...but because of so many bad things I did in my past...I couldn't see it...no matter how hard I looked...
So the first step I had to take was to forgive myself for all of my mistakes and short comings...seriously...I had to own up to them...decide that I wasn't going to allow my past to dictate my future...and seriously forgive
Once I did that...I started over with a clean slate...I no longer saw those flaws...and started seeing what everyone else saw...I had a new level of confidence...that read in my walk...my talk...my attitude...the way I carried myself
I finally realized I was beautiful
So what you need to do it plunder through your past and figure out what is it that you are holding against yourself...what is it that won't allow you to be happy...be it an event...a person...a decision....whatever
Identify...confront it...forgive it...work on not revisiting it...and start loving yourself Babyluv
Then work on your relationship with you hubby...he is obviously there for a reason...trust his love...trust his words...allow him to carry you...embrace his hugs...accept his words of encoragment and comfort...you don't want to lose him and yourself at the same time...in the same breathe
Explain to him what you are feeling...allow him to console you...if you two come to a conclusion that you need professional help...with self-esteem...or body image...or depression....or whatever...take the journey towards a healthier life together
Allow him to be your husband and you his wife...don't deprive him of his happiness...and let him help you with yours
Trust yourself...trust you husband...and trust that you are beautiful...they say it is in the eye of the beholder
2007-10-02 15:03:13 · answer #2 · answered by tamoi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. He sees beauty in you, even if you don't. Accept the love and sincerity behind his compliment, even if it doesn't match with your "reality."
Then seek counseling to re-evaluate your version of reality. Sure, you may not look like a supermodel, but why does that mean you can't be beautiful? There are so many kinds of beauty in the world - and yours is one of them.
Next time you look in the mirror, find three things to sincerely compliment about your body. No negatives or comparisons - "My arms aren't as fat as Susie's, my face isn't as blotchy as it was as a teenager, etc". Look for real positives - "I have soft, strong hair; my eyes are a beautiful shade of (whatever); I have great abs." Say the compliments out loud, and look for different ones each day. Once a week, compliment every individual bit of your body.
It takes some practice, but it's a great self-image booster.
2007-10-02 14:53:41 · answer #3 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your looking at this entirely the wrong way. It doesnt matter if you are "beautiful" or not. Lets say the reality is you are not beautiful. Your husband thinks you are and that is the only thing that matters. The fact he says it at all shows how much he loves you. You need to grow up and start focusing on him instead of yourself before you lose him. There are women out there who would kill to have a man like yours.
If he didnt believe you were beautiful he wouldnt say it.
2007-10-02 14:50:35 · answer #4 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you have a lacking in self confidence there, huh? I am sure your husband says it because he feels that way. I know that I have been married going on 17 years and when I tell my wife she is beautiful, and I love her.. Well, lets just say I mean in! You may be helped by getting some counciling... Good Luck to you and your husband!
2007-10-02 14:50:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I went through this, and thought my husband was just being really sweet when we were courting, but one day he confronted me on it because he said I would just flip the compliment instead of receiving it. Well after that I really began to listen and think about it and tried to work on my own self image. It was honestly his compliments that helped me.
I started to write all the things about myself I didnt like, and for every one thing I didnt like I made myself write 2 good things. Then with the things I wished were different, I set goals to improve. I have always had full thighs, and havent always liked that, so instead of complaining, I began to work toward changing that a bit. My husbands support, again, made all the difference.
Most importantly, I learned to LET HIM LOVE ME, I learned that after being in relationships which men tore me down, or cheated (my husband is my first partner) cause I wouldnt put out, I am finally with someone who ISNT like that. Someone who loves me just for me, and who truly sees beauty when he looks at me. :)
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Likely your husband is able to see things you dont see, or wont allow yourself to see due to past hang ups pains, or whatever. Let him tell you you're beautiful, let him cherish you, let him show you all the things, about you, that make him love you more.
It will all work out, trust me it will. :)
2007-10-02 14:53:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Jesus......lady please. If he's telling you why are you wondering? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Ever hear that saying? Besides....looks don't count for everything. Personality, poise, grace, charm and sometimes just being his wife and being the way you are is enough.
Man...must I soothe your troubled mind as well as eveyone elses? Take it as its meant to be...a compliment.
2007-10-02 14:48:25 · answer #7 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your problem. When he tells you, thank him. You need to work on this problem. Do not even let him know that you feel this way any longer. Men have issues of there own and an insecure woman is a turn off.
I would suggest some counseling.
You are responsible for your own happiness.
2007-10-02 14:50:06 · answer #8 · answered by Tadpoler 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It takes time (trust me on this). When you start to question it mentally make your self stop and say "yes I am beautiful!"
I know it sounds cheesy but it will end up working.
2007-10-02 15:16:42 · answer #9 · answered by Spring 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Angelique S, My dear beauty is more than just the reflection in the mirror ! Our inner beauty is somthing that our eyes can not see ! He is your husband, believe in his words !
2007-10-02 14:56:39 · answer #10 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Most women would kill for their signifigant other to tell them that alot. I'm lost, oh wait.....maybe he sees what on the inside. You know kinda like Shallow Hal. Not that I know what you look like but sounds like the problem isn't quite with him.
2007-10-02 14:49:25 · answer #11 · answered by DrewPozlofski 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋