I've only been going out with her for 2 months. I think she's still having connections with her X boyfriend.(5years of relationship overseas)
I am 22 and she's 27 and neither of us residents in the country we are living now. Both international students from different countries completely supported by parents overseas.
Her point; We are not stable enough to have a baby. As soon as parents stop support we are screwed big time.
My point; I don't want to kill My son or daughter although she just missed her period and came to know she's pregnant. But I can't think of a way to live by myself with all the laws for migration and poor income.
I can't force her to keep the baby as I can't afford a family but still I Love babies so much. I don't know weather she's feeling the same. Maybe her plans are different.
As I guess, she just wanted to have some fun with me and continue with her long term relationship overseas. This was a mistake. But I always care about her. What should I do?
2007-10-02 05:02:44 · 11 answers · asked by Type R 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I'm sorry to hear about this. Sometimes the timing is just not right for one or both of the people involved. Your girlfriend, as most Women are (especially those who have higher education goals), is a realist when it comes to this situation. As great as she MAY or MAY NOT think it would be to have a baby right now, she sees the reality of the situation you are both in. If you want her to keep the pregnancy, you have to change her reality. If you cannot do that, then there is very little that you can do other than support her, support her decision, and be there for her if she needs you.
She may not have used you at all, she may have just gotten caught or had an accident. It happens.
I think you may find this website useful: http://www.menandabortion.com/index.html .
I know this is hard for you because it was hard for my husband too when I needed to have an abortion.
You may also want to work through this workbook with your girlfriend to see if it helps give you or her a different perspective on the whole thing: http://www.pregnancyoptions.info/pregnant.htm .
No matter what, she needs your support at this time. Even though it may be hard for you to give, that's what she needs.
Best of luck to you both!
Peace,
Jenn
2007-10-02 14:11:43 · answer #1 · answered by jenn_smithson 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As someone who just gave birth to a baby that only lived for two hours because he was born with a lethal form of dwarfism this hits home. I would tell her how you feel. Talk to your parents maybe they will help you more then you think. Maybe she can have it and give up parental rights and you and your parents can raise the baby or open adoption is always an option this way you can still see the baby but the baby will be with someone who is ready for kids who maybe can't have kids. Talk to her about that
2007-10-02 12:09:35 · answer #2 · answered by Kristi S 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sadly, you said it yourself...you cannot make her keep the baby.
In the end, it IS her body, and it WILL be her carrying the child for 9 months and laboring for who knows how many hours, and raising it for the rest of her life....with or without you.
You're just going to have to be mature enough to recognize that everyone has a right...even her (even if it doesn't coincide with your belief system or anyone else's).
2007-10-02 12:08:34 · answer #3 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Has she considered adoption? Even if you guys can't afford a baby there are alot of couples out there who can, but are unable to have them. There is alot of financial support for people with a low income for doctors visits and stuff. Talk to her and make sure that you both explore all of your options. Let her know that while it is her body, you have feelings about it too. In my opinion adoption is a wonderful gift, both for the parents who just aren't financialy or emotionally ready for a baby, and for the people who can't have a baby themselves.
2007-10-02 12:10:22 · answer #4 · answered by Ashley S 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
First of all, don't assume she doesn't want the baby. You say you don't know how she feels. Talk to her! She needs you at this time. Finding out you are pregnant when you are single and without money is very scary.
Secondly, you don't say what country you're from. Some countries give fathers some rights when it comes to the life of their unborn child. Unfortunately my country (USA) does not and says it is a mother's right to kill her own child.
But again....just talk to her first. Do what you can to protect her and your child.
2007-10-02 12:13:08 · answer #5 · answered by Veritas 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm sorry but it's her choice. You need to be supportive because if she really wants an abortion it will be the hardest thing she ever does. Tell her how you feel, let her know your wishes but at the same time understand that ultimately it is her decision.
2007-10-02 12:48:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
WOW... THIS IS DEPRESSING, THE FACT THAT SHE WANTS TO KILL AN INNOCENT CHILD... SO SAD!!
IF YOU WANT THE CHILD, TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL, AND IF SHE DOESN'T, TELL HER THAT YOU WILL RAISE THE CHILD ALONE AND NOT ASK HER FOR A THING! CHILDREN ARE EXPENSIVE, NO MATTER WHAT! BUT PARENTS FIGURE IT OUT EVERYDAY!!
GOOD LUCK!!
OH, AND HOW CAN YOU CARE ABOUT A WOMAN THAT DOESN'T EVEN CARE ABOUT YOUR UNBORN CHILD... AND IF SHE WAS REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT HER LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP, 1 SHE WOULD NEVER HAD CHEATED, AND 2 SHE WOULD NOT HAVE HAD UNPROTECTED SEX...
2007-10-02 12:11:09 · answer #7 · answered by *LDY LEX* 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
talk to her tell you how you feel, and find out the laws of having an abortion and if you have any say over the abortion. i wish you the best of luck.
2007-10-02 12:08:53 · answer #8 · answered by Blondie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not fair for the baby if you are not able to take of her or him.. good luck
2007-10-02 12:56:51 · answer #9 · answered by R 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
bad news..You have very little influence on this. Her body. Her choice.
2007-10-02 12:10:27 · answer #10 · answered by Bob D 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋