My father goes, and just out of the blue ( because he's drunk and on a hangover, most likely) says to me when i came out of my room " oh look it's the big baby, wanting mommys attention, always im competition, the big baby" etc etc to me. My mom was there and she was telling him to go to bed cause he was being stupid. And then as he's walking up the hall he goes " all she is just one big ******* baby".
I then said " at least im not a p rick like you ". Which im in trouble for now. .Then while he's in his room, i hear him say " the f ucken *** hole". Now im not complaining or anything, i just want to know if you think this was a fair thing for me to have said? Considering, i didn't do anythign to make him say this, other than saying that the show was half over and that i didn't want to watch it. And shoud i now be grounded in my room for the night? Thanks so much!
2007-10-02 02:51:02 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
So much about what you wrote is unfair that I scarcely know where to begin commenting. No father should speak to (or about) his daughter that way, and similarly since you and your father are not peers, no daughter should speak to her father that way. Here's where the problem comes in, (hopefully you can follow my line of thinking) your father (for whatever reason) decides to curse you as if you're one of his buddies (peers), you respond in kind, THEN he wants to punish you for your response as if he is again a parent. (Most likely because he didn't like what you said). This dynamic creates confusion in defining roles and their subsequent limits. So let's be clear: you most assuredly shouldn't have spoken to your father in that manner, but as the child you're not obligated to see that role parameters are observed and maintained...that is an adult responsibility. Basically, you just played the game the way you found it. Most of us as parents don't just arbitrarily bark orders and expect obedience because we're on some kind of power-trip (though it can seem like that from time to time). What actually goes on is, we expect certain behavior and compliance because we've similarly modified our inclinations to accomodate the rules we've established for our household. My children don't curse me because I don't curse them. We're not buddies, friends, pals or equals in any ways that matter. Our roles are clearly defined, and I don't allow alcohol or anything else to obscure or blur those lines. Now, my grown daughter sees me a bit more informally than she did when she was growing up, because now I deal with her adult to adult, where as my communication with her younger siblings reflects the youthfulness of their current station in life....but to ALL of them I am still daddy. And respect is a two-way street.
2007-10-02 03:39:21 · answer #1 · answered by Captain S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, there's no communicating with drunken people. I'd wait until he sleeps it off and tell him what he did and how it hurt you. Don't respond at that time because you'll just look like the bad guy. Be the better person and ignore him.
2007-10-02 09:57:29 · answer #2 · answered by Curious Jenna 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well he did start a fight for no reason,But you are the child.When he does this imature stuff you should probley walk away and stay away from him.There is no reason for this crap.Why is your mom dealing with him saying stuff like this to you? I think he needs some help.
2007-10-02 10:23:10 · answer #3 · answered by Gemini 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would have said worse!! Tell him to stop being such a drunk and act like a father!!!
2007-10-02 09:54:32 · answer #4 · answered by L 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No this is not fair at all. Sounds like your dad has a drinking problem.
2007-10-02 11:05:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a mean drunk.
2007-10-02 09:53:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol i would have sed the same thing you did too
2007-10-02 09:55:03 · answer #7 · answered by lilhails 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋