I am 6 months pregnant and I am having a hard time choosing the last name to give my child. I have been with the babies father for a year and half and we plan on getting married!!! But something inside tells me that we are not going to be together after I have the baby. Do I give her my last name his last name or hyphen it?? Oh yeah If we split up I do not plan on taking him to court for child support or anything and he will not have anything to with her!! what would you do??
2007-10-02 01:40:59 · 19 answers · asked by epd4859 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Baby Names
How can you say you plan on getting married but yet say you feel you're not going to be together? Ok anyhow... Firstly, you can't stop the father from having anything to do with the child. If HE chooses to neglect his child that is on him...his doing. If you choose to neglect your child's father from seeing the child it is on you. The courts will eventually decide. If you already know for a fact that he won't have anything to do with the child (him saying so himself) then I would give my last name. If your b/f is a part of your life and you love each other give the child his last name...hyphening is kinda cool too.
If you and the father split and he takes you to court be prepared. If you apply for TA they will take him to court. It's a no win situation I'm afraid. And also...Just so you know once the child is born just because you and your b/f are the parents.. does NOT mean you have custody. No one will have custody until it is brought up in court. What this means is that since neither one of you have "rights" (psychical custody) say you and your b/f get into one hell of a fight, he can lawfully take your child and vice verse. I don't think it's fair to the child already that you are thinking that you won't be with the father or allowing them to see one another. I sincerely hope the best for you and all those involved.
2007-10-02 01:57:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there, done that! My son's father and I were "engaged" and had been together a year. I had a strong feeling that things would change. I hyphenated his last name. He goes by my last name now, because his father has very little to do with him. You can always let him go by the Dad's name if yall do get married! Mine does pay child support though! It's not easy finacially unless you have a very good job!
Best wishes girl! God Bless!
2007-10-02 05:00:36 · answer #2 · answered by Happy in love! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, it's possible that you may change your mind concerning the child support issue. Are you sure that you two won't be staying together? You say you plan on getting married, well, if that's the case then maybe you should discuss your concerns with the baby's Father. Would having his last name be all that bad? It's sounds as if you and your significant other really have issues that should be resolved before the birth of your child.
2007-10-02 01:50:53 · answer #3 · answered by Doug H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
See, this is why you get married before you have kids. Just discuss it with the father until you agree on something. Don't hyphen the two names. That will be embarrassing for the child when he she gets to school, and she will always have a lot of explaining to do. If the dad isn't going to have anything to do with her, then give the baby your last name.
2007-10-02 01:49:12 · answer #4 · answered by Greetings! 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Give her your last name if you have a feeling that you and he will not be together after her birth; also if you do not plan on ever taking him to court (which is by all means the most ridiculous thing Ive ever heard) then its best that she have his last name. Maybe after you have this baby and realize how hard it is, and how much it costs, you'll see the advantage of child support, and how imperative it is to have a helping hand even if you are no longer a couple
2007-10-02 01:47:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I would have to say if you aren't sure if he's going to be around or be in her life then I would give her your last name and put unknown as the father on the birth certificate, this will make it harder for him to try to get her from you, thats what happened to my friend and now her poor little girl has to go see her "dad" who she doesn't even know (she is 4). If you guys do end up getting married then you could have her last name changed. Just play it safe, this is your child. Good Luck.
2007-10-02 03:10:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your name
2007-10-02 01:49:33 · answer #7 · answered by wacky weed 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Give her your last name if you have a feeling that you and he will not be together after her birth; also if you do not plan on ever taking him to court (which is by all means the most ridiculous thing Ive ever heard) then its best that she have his last name. Maybe after you have this baby and realize how hard it is, and how much it costs, you'll see the advantage of child support, and how imperative it is to have a helping hand even if you are no longer a couple. GOOD LUCK!
2007-10-02 01:45:23 · answer #8 · answered by sunnaybunny 2 · 5⤊ 1⤋
If you split up he will still have the right to be in childs life. The name choice is your own to decide with him........ Its not just your choice you didnt make the baby alone.
People will say that you need to go after child support, which (i believe the parent that has the child should recieve this from the pother parent)
The only person i know of that people are upset about getting child support for having custody of their children is Britneys ex!!!! Bottom line if the parent has custody the other one should pay support no excuses.
2007-10-02 01:46:27 · answer #9 · answered by tammer 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What would I do? I sure as heck wouldn't get married to someone I don't believe I'll be with. That would be a foolish mistake. Work on your relationship. Get couples' counseling. Find out for sure if this guy is going to be a REAL father, or just a biological one. Find out if he is really worth marrying. If he is, then you are all set. Question resolved! If not, then you can give it whatever name you want to. It's your baby. Good luck!
2007-10-02 01:51:10 · answer #10 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋