I am worried about my sister I feel she is neurotically obsessed with impressing people. When I suggested she may have low self-esteem she denied it and became very defensive and instead claimed her high confidence in herself. She lies to other people about very minor things like saying she is best of buddies with everyone in her family, saying she writes poetry when she doesn't. I can't understand it. Even worse is now she has signed up to do a Master's degree. I am worried because I know they are expensive and also know she is not doing it for the sheer enthusiasm and dedication to her studies but rather so she boast to other people that she is doing an MA.
I want to understand her and help her but I don't know how.
2007-10-01 23:47:50 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Thanks for the answers so far. She is more of a professional liar though. Everyone believes her and are impressed by her. I love her as my sister and wouldn't mind this if it were for the right reasons.
2007-10-02 00:48:13 · update #1
Leave her to her own karma. You can't help someone who doesn't think they have a problem. The best thing to do is ignore her lies unless she's lying right to your face; in which case you could point out that sincere people have more friends because it's impossible to really be friends with an insincere liar. What does she actually do well? "Why lie about writing poetry? You're a good cook, so boast about that instead." Or something like that.
2007-10-01 23:59:19 · answer #1 · answered by Rosie_0801 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remind her of an old saying that is very applicable. "To thine own self be true".
The problem with lying is that you have to tell bigger lies to cover up the smaller ones, and half of the time you don't remember who you lied to, or what was said.
Tell her that going out into the working world will cause her a great deal of problems if she lies. She will be talked about, humiliated, etc.. if she ever tries to climb the corporate latter. People will use anything against you to keep you from getting a position that they want. Besides, honesty is one of the major characteristics that employers look for.
By the way, tell her that most of the time no one actually believes her lies anyway. People tell the truth with the body language they use when they are trying to lie. Most well educated and intelligent people read body language very carefully.
2007-10-02 07:05:39 · answer #2 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She feels bad about herself. She's listening the egoic/unconscious/satanic mind that everyone has to some degree. The only real and lasting help is awakening spiritual consciousness. Amen.
2007-10-02 15:43:22 · answer #3 · answered by 132 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be careful would be my advice. I seem to be one of these people pleasers, and you would be surprised what we do to impress people. When someone pointed it out to me recently, I was heart broken, but once you hear what people think you start to realise that it could be true.
It will take a long time for your sister to sort this out so you have to be patient. Remember she isn't doing it to be spiteful or annoying, but with a genuine need for people to like her.
There are a few options, counselling being one of them, but I have just brought this book, "The Disease to Please", which I am reading, which I think will really help your sister out.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Disease-Please-Curing-People-pleasing-Syndrome/dp/0071385649/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/026-4455874-6080417?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1191331703&sr=8-1
Good luck, it's going to be quite a journey.
2007-10-02 09:28:50 · answer #4 · answered by TJ29 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think you are just going to have to wait for her to grow up a bit, and stop being so egotistical? She in some ways thinks a lot of herself, but in others she dosnt, hence the need for quedos?
2007-10-04 13:33:38 · answer #5 · answered by ♥ Glitterbomb ♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
next time she lies to people call her on it. tell her to recite some of the poetry she wrote. i can't stand people who lie about themselves thinking that they are impressing people. most people can see right through that. instead of impressing people she will be repelling them.
2007-10-02 06:58:59 · answer #6 · answered by Diana K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get her into a political career as fast as possible...she will go far.
2007-10-02 14:15:12 · answer #7 · answered by boxotricks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u can tell me ur sister star sign.. i can tell u why your sister is like that.. and can maybe help her out. might sound wierd.. but it might help u understand her better?
2007-10-03 06:46:42 · answer #8 · answered by ME 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋