I'm 25 and have been in a relationship for 3 years. We are really happy. We have a house, a dog and two cats. I'm aching for a baby and I want to get married but It's hard to wait untill we're married for have a baby. I don't want to be 30 and no kids and not married. I want to be a younger mum. My boyfriends keeps saying he wants a baby now, should I give in or should I stick it out untill we're married?
2007-10-01 22:21:34 · 24 answers · asked by Georgia W 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
get married right now so u can hav a baby
2007-10-01 22:25:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
totally agree with Evie... why do you want to get yourself so tied down so early? I know it seems to you like 30 is old - as it did to me when I was 25 - but believe me - it's not. I'm nearly 31 now and still feel like I'm 18. If you were 35 then that would be a different matter as that's when it starts to become harder to conceive. Why not just enjoy your life first? How about making plans to do all the things you can't do when you have a baby (i.e. travelling around the world, doing things on a whim etc.) and get them out of your system first.
Also, and I might sound selfish here, but I would definitely want to be married before having a baby - your body is never the same after you have a baby and I'd hate to get into a wedding dress with baby weight on me - purely aesthetical reason but something to think about...
Just remember honey - your life is never ever your own again after you have a baby... I'd say wait until you're a bit older.
2007-10-02 00:01:09 · answer #2 · answered by aine_alainn 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can give you several good reasons. A lot of people will not believe them, though, if their minds are set. 1. It is better for a child to have two parents. 2. Marriage is a commitment and married people are more likely to stay together than people just living together. 3. Family health insurance is better than single insurance. 4. You can give the child his father's name, although perhaps you can do this anyway. 5. If something happens to the father, inheritance is more clear when married. 6. If the father is injured, the wife has more rights in the hospital than a girlfriend has. As I have pointed out, financial reasons alone are an important factor. You may not anticipate problems in the future, but they have a way of happening. There is also a factor of respect in the community, schools, families, and any churches you may attend. Believe it or not, married people do get a bit more respect than unmarried couples having children. Happily married father of two.
2016-05-18 23:53:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have your own house and you are financially independent (your bf and you) and you're very happy together, then why don't you get married now? What is the reason for which you want to wait for longer time to get married? If you have a baby right now, I doubt your bf will marry you after 2-3 yrs. He might like having a family with no papers :). My advice is to get married first. Otherwise you might be a young mom, but never a wife. If you want both, get married and after that plan for the baby. If not becoming a wife doesn't bother you, then have the baby.
2007-10-01 22:27:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you get married now? If you're settled and happy and want to get married, I don't see what the issue is. I do wonder at people who say they're not ready for the commitment of marriage but are happy to have babies together - a baby is WAY more of a commitment than a marriage. If your marriage fails, you can walk away - you don't walk away from parenthood, it's forever. For me anyway, the two go hand in hand - and I know there are many, many types of successful family setups, but I really do think it's nice for children to come from a background where the parents love each other and chose to commit to one another, and where all the children have the same parents. I'm not being judgmental about those in different situations, I'm just stating my own personal, and rather old-fashioned, preference.
2007-10-01 22:30:23 · answer #5 · answered by f0xymoron 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You're only 25. I don't understand why you're in such a hurry to get married and have babies. You also sound like you're gathering things, the house, the dog, the cats, the boyfriend, and the 'next' thing on your 'list' is marriage and 'the baby'.
What about what you want to achieve? Places you want to see? Things you want to do? Don't be pressurised into having a baby. The only reason to have a baby is because you can't bear not to have one, and it sounds like you're pretty ambiguous. I think you should ask your boyfriend for a space of about 3 months where you both agree not to talk about marriage or babies, and give yourselves a bit of space to just be.
2007-10-01 22:49:34 · answer #6 · answered by Evie W 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In this day and age getting married is neither necessary or even preferable for bringing up a child- many children 'last' longer than there parents marraige certificates although that's no reflection of my knowledge (or lack of) on your relationship. My thoughts would be to start trying for your child now. You don't know how long it will take, and better finding out now than at 30. You can plan your marriage for a few years time when hopefully you will have a child to be there at your ceremony- how special will that be? Plenty of brides now are new mums, pregnant, or over 25 yrs, and you won't be unusual in any way if you are too. Do whatever really feels right and be happy. Good luck.
2007-10-01 22:32:43 · answer #7 · answered by emily_jane2379 5 · 0⤊ 4⤋
thats the way it is in all relation ships one wants one thing the oter something else he wants a baby just tell him marriage then baby you have everything else no need for a big wedding unless you want one go to courthouse n marry then on wedding nite start trying for a baby try every nite some times more in a day the more you do the better odds to get pg
2007-10-01 22:27:50 · answer #8 · answered by tamming_the_wildone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would do whatever works for you both. Most women are going to say wait until your married, but some women have a wonderful relationship with their boyfriends and have a child. One of the women I work with has been with her boyfriend for 4 yrs and they just had a child and she is 26, they have no plans on getting married anytime soon either.
oh and 30 isn't old honey!
2007-10-01 22:33:19 · answer #9 · answered by Torey♥ 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Give the child a fighting chance, get married first. What is stopping you from getting married? If you can not afford a wedding you can not afford a child.
PS- At 25 I was travelling around Australia, so I do not know why anyone would want to tie themselves to a child at that age.
2007-10-02 02:52:22 · answer #10 · answered by Mrs M 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's good to get married first. You two want to be completely committed to each other before you start a family together... your future children deserve that kind of stability.
I completely understand not wanting to wait to have kids, but what is to stop you from getting married soon? You can plan a great wedding in a few months. (I had a friend who planned a full size formal wedding in seven weeks!)
2007-10-01 22:26:46 · answer #11 · answered by Emmy Jo (13 weeks with #2) 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋