I met a guy in the gay bar the other day who said that he was in the military. So, I asked him (jokingly), "so, you lyed on your application?" He said he didnt because he wasnt gay at the time. He claims he "became" gay. I have one friend that says she used to be attracted to guys but is now lesbian. What do you think about this? I don't think someone can "become" gay and has to be born that way. Maybe that is gay by choice or a need of attention?
2007-10-01 22:18:20 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Just so ya'll know... I'm gay. (born that way)
2007-10-01 22:23:31 · update #1
I suspect that some of these people are bisexual to some degree. But society (yes, and gay society) pushes people to choose between one category or the other. So they go from trying to believe they're completely straight to completely gay. But I don't think they "become" gay.
2007-10-01 22:22:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 10⤊ 1⤋
A lot of people attempt to hide that they have any feelings for the same sex, so much so that they deny any attraction at all and attempt to lead a straight life. Unfortunately, it never works. I denied it for years. Looking back now, I can say that I was always gay... but depending on where you are in your life, it can seem like all those feelings just came so suddenly, that you "became" gay when you weren't... but after a few years, he'll be able to look back at his life and see that he always was gay.
2007-10-02 12:27:58 · answer #2 · answered by Tim A 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
perhaps some ppl are born gay...i do not know. and no im not saying ppl are not born gay..just say i dont know.
i do believe in some cases ppl can " become" gay with certain traumatic experiances. a girl who is sexually abused in her childhood may grow up to end up being more comfortable with women.
same with boys....
maybe because i am straight i find it hard to beleive that a very young child such as 5 yrs old knows they are gay. most children that age wish to be with thier own gender and alot of self and " not so self" discovery goes on. but thats it. there is nothing sexual behind it. i mean come on..babies masturbate...but do they know it is sexual? nope! they only know it feels good.( medical crap backs up that very young children masterbate)
but still...maybe ppl are born gay for the most part....
2007-10-02 08:17:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is really not that hard to understand.
You met an active duty military guy in a gay bar. You asked him if he "lied" on his application. It's quite obvious that's he will not admit to lying...especially to a perfect stranger in a bar.
He said he "became" gay later...for one obvious reason, to let you know he was gay "after the fact" thereby covering his his a$$ in case you were CID.
The "choice" / "attention" theories are bogus.
2007-10-02 06:06:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Most people believe in the Aristotelian logic that you either 'are' or you 'aren't', and that no in-between exists. I used to know a girl who broke up with a guy because she realised she 'was' a lesbian, but then decided she 'wasn't' about a month later. Bisexuality rarely gets a mention, probably due to (and these theories have been told to me from both sides) the fact that gay people think you're a traitor & you must be confused cos you don't know what you really want, & straight people think you're gay & must be confused cos you don't know what you really want.
I know what I want--I want it all!!!
2007-10-02 05:49:12 · answer #5 · answered by St John the Blasphemist 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
When did he go into the military....? If it was after Don't Ask-don't tell, they didn't ask him. They can't ask ("Don't Ask") and he couldn't tell anyone he's gay ("Don't Tell"). Basically the military wants Gay Folks to live quietly in the closet. They only kick you out if you get caught in the act, or start telling people you're gay.
Nobody becomes Gay, anymore than someone becomes left-handed. You're born that way, and figure it out when it becomes pertinent in your life (i.e. when you learn to draw and color for handedness, and sometime after puberty for sexuality.
2007-10-02 05:38:23 · answer #6 · answered by Greenman 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i lost my virginity to a boy when i was 14
then at 15 had my first experience with a girl
wheeew.............i still dabbled but had a preference for girls
i still do--yet i have a 15 year old son and have been in a relationship with my girl for 12 years............5 years ago i saw my sons father and wham-bam-yeah you know the rest
but it was one weekend thing and me and my girl are still together--am i gay? bi? whatever--i loooove woman!!
was i born this way?? maybe--who knows--i dont care
2007-10-02 13:47:30 · answer #7 · answered by slopoke6968 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's something I can't deal with... my best friend says that he became gay (he also went to the military) but talking to him I found out that he was into men when he was younger, the question is that he didn't accept it, so he blocked his gayness and tried to convince himself that he was straight.
well, he's 25 now, he is deeply into men but still doesn't accept his sexuality.
2007-10-02 11:21:21 · answer #8 · answered by Hazelnut 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i don't think that he 'become' gay i just think that he discovered it late. he probably discovered his sexuality by dating women and feeling that something wasn't right. some gay people know that they are gay right from the start where as others have to discover it.
btw i love your avatar xx
2007-10-02 08:39:41 · answer #9 · answered by ♥SPARKLES♥™ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Everyone has the choice to be one way or the other, (I don't use the G word) and it's up to them to find out when they are ready, but the the choice is easier for some people.
But some people are just born one way or the other.
2007-10-02 05:27:49 · answer #10 · answered by Kaiva 3 · 1⤊ 4⤋