Holiday, comments welcome?

Question

I'm just writing...And expressing the moment...

"Holiday"

When winter summers,
Peaks from the abyss,
Laughing angels,
Mocking memories,
Listing in dreams.
How slowly comes the night,
As you walk away,
Finding yourself,
In the shadows.
Will the slip,
Curtain the miss,
Punished promises,
Within your fist.
Holiday,
Blessed Holiday,
Come at last,
Waits forever,
Future in the past.
Tried by winter's,
Blush,
Tears of summer's,
Crush,
Beautiful Holiday.

Answer 1

Holy-days
"My layman follows the teachings of Death,
denies death and many of the natural expressions as spontaneous love.
His religion is the poetry of the anti-poetic language;
only lovers can sleep 'the sleep of the just',
while believers cannot sleep at all.
I would say his life is a mess.
I would say he deserve pity (sorrow) and no respect.
I would say he rejects again and again his good messenger,
who can prevent him from falling into the abyss?
he lies to himself and he will never stop lying to himself – shame him!
His self-destruction belongs to his pleasing dead world.
Beautiful Holy-days."

Answer 2

Well the flow is subjegated and reads a little off, but overall a nice poem, the ending tends to grate though, you should use a solid ending as opposwed to a linkage with a poem this size.

Answer 3

It's sort of cryptic to me because I get the feeling there is a hidden message in this poem for some reason, which I haven't figured out yet.

All in all though I like it very much.

♥

Answer 4

Good morning sir. I followed the flow of the poem and enjoyed it. I am somewhat perplexed towards the end. 'Tears of summer's, Crush' is the culprit. Are you using 'Crush' as a noun or a verb? I am unsure.

Answer 5

Sounds like sunshine on a cloudy day.....

Answer 6

love it. with each poem, you out do yourself. awesome. i am going to have to make a file of your poems and save them. they really brighten each day.

Answer 7

sounds bittersweet

Answer 8

Thank you!

Answer 9

good one.