its hard for me to make conversation with people... i get nervous and uneasy tips?

Question

alot of the time if i get nervous its cause i think there judging me and it gets hard speaking clearliy without thinking im not and i cant really look people in the eye i can but not with new people... with my close friends im my self loud ext.. but when im with other people im different and can only talk freely when im with my friends what should i do to strike conversation im in college now so i need the help!

Answer 1

i was once in your shoes and am getting better. what changed me is i got a job that was very stressfull and poped a vine in my head.

find a stressful job thinking wise not physical.

and i know it is hard but this is how you gotta understand it. you might feel shy in front of the person in front of you but you gotta understand the person in front of you is the same way and if he sees you feeling shy and weak, that gives him a target to not be shy and overpower himself.

for example: if you are around a shy person or quiet person wouldnt you take control. if he/she wont?

i dont think anyone is judging you if you are quiet.
when your quiet or sort of shy and look down. try not to look down look at the person in the eye, look at him as if he/she is shy also. and if you quiet people dont know what your thinking or who you are, they might think of you as a genious , smart, etc. or something else.

but take practice.

i've also learned that quietness comes from being around people who are cocky or think alot of themselves so stay away from a croud like that if you are around them. that can take you down. be with people who are at your level and look at every person that you meet as if you've known them or met them more than 4-5 times. push to change your perspective of how you see the person becaues if you think of it, there is no reason to by shy.

Answer 2

I have social anxiety so I'm the exact same way. One tip I've learned is to mentally rehearse conversations before they happen, so you have a better idea of what to expect.

Answer 3

The best way to have a conversation with someone else is to keep asking them questions about themselves! Takes the focus off of you and most people only want to talk about themselves anyway. Just be sure to listen so you can ask follow-up questions. You will thought of as a great conversationalist!

Answer 4

I don't think there's any 'secret' that you can learn and then you'll be okay. You have to learn how to relax with people, and that's hard., but you can do it.

One thing is to get the other person to do most of the talking. Which means talk about him or her. Learn to ask questions, to draw people out. Make eye contact. Nod your head and say 'uh huh'. Smile a lot, when appropriate. Look concerned when appropriate. I know that all sounds stupid but it's really as simple as that. -THEY- will relax and then you will relax.

Learning to deal with people is one reason you go to college in the first place, so you will acquire these skills whether you want to or not. There are shy freshmen but no shy seniors!

Answer 5

I can relate, I get the same way and I am also going to be starting college so I need to start learning to speak out independently...it kinda got worse first I couldn't look people in the eye and now when I'm trying to speak I get real nervous & anxious and start a little stutter-my family make fun of it but I just want to be comfortable to talk so they can see how openminded and smart I am so my advice to you is talk slowly and make eye contact so they can kinda see some confidence...best of luck;)

Answer 6

I think everyone has suffered from this on occasion, but don't let it get you down. Honestly, you learn so much more when
If you can get past the initial "hellos" and "how do ya dos," ask interesting questions, be sincere, and genuinely listen. You may even find it easier to let them strike conversation first.

Take a few deep breaths, smile, and just reach out your hand to greet or meet someone. If you can't take that step just yet~ just smile~people usually smile back!

As far as judgments go~
It is very hard to think poorly of someone when they are smiling at you.

I know this will sound odd but~practice in the mirror~make eye contact, hold out your hand, shake the hair brush like it was somebody!. SMILE ~ laugh and say out loud Hello, my name is ....

I had a similar problem with Speech class. The mirror thing did help me.
.
Practice will make you better..
Good luck

Answer 7

its normal, take deep breathes and listen to the convo if u now or understand the convo u will feel better about adding input. aim for the tops of peoples head this way it still looks lik eye contact and doesn't come across as rude.

Answer 8

I use to get so nervous in conversation cause I thought people were judging me and I was right! I came to the realization that It only happens around those who were very "mundane" so to speak and those far from my personality type. I was picked on quit often at my job as a maintenance technician for my various "libertarian views" while the rest of the crew was your typical "shotgun lovin ,nascar racing is all that matters in life, "bubba beer drinking, good ole boy conservative croud. Groups like this do not welcome different in any way shape or form. Simply because what they don't understand is to challenging for them to try to accept. What did I do? Changed career fields, so that I would never be in a situation like that again.

Answer 9

Work with your Dr to find the right anti-anxiety medication for you. After a few years on it you will get more self confident and be more comfortable communicating as you decrease the medication.

Answer 10

Don't worry hun, I know that feeling.
We have different comfort zones. We're able to talk to certain family and friends freely, where others its hard to strike an initial converstion.
Even though your in college, and trying to walk up to someone and say 'Hi I'm...' its easy said then done. Be yourself, and just remember when you feel uncomfortable or nervous, just breathe. Whether we like it or not, ppl do judge us - good and bad. Infront of a computer, we don't have to worry about being judge and looking to interpret emotions / expressions - where in person we do. Just be your safe and take it slow. As a friend to bring a friend of theirs that you haven't met and get to know them. Once you feel comfrotable speaking to them, meet another friend, and so on. I'm sure in college there should be a group of people that like to hang out somewhere - where you can get to know each other or so.
Between remembering to breathe, and taking it slow - good luck