I just married my husband in April of this year. Before we wed he and I had been dating for 7years. Although our checking accounts are still seperate we do own a house together. Well, with times being tough he's taken on working side jobs 7 days a week, just about all hours. To make a long story short, the other night after what started as a ridiculous agruement, he said something that shocked me. I qoute his words were " You know what I am cheating on you and when I'm not working that's what I'm doing." I roll my eyes and laugh he says " Don't laugh, it's not funny!" and "You think about that." before storming off. I don't know what to think! Of course later he apologises and says he never meant it, but who just says that???
2007-10-01 18:10:51 · 20 answers · asked by horsewhisperer 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've never known him to cheat in the past. I have to put a lot of trust in him b/c as a construction worker job sites change all the time. I usually don't know where he is exept the town. So far though no phone#'s in the wallet and the check book looks ligit. I'd be able to tell by those two things right?
2007-10-01 18:41:28 · update #1
I think he said it to hurt you, as you do not "appreciate" what he does and you are a birt churlish to act in such a manner
(Guys say a lot of stupid things)
2007-10-01 18:19:15 · answer #1 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I see you are getting lots of advice from women. From a male point of view I would have to say that I would be very worried. Only 2 possibilities here:
1. He is very very dumb and said that just to hurt you when it was not true (not likely).
2. He told the truth.
Either way I would be very worried. Trust is the one thing you cannot compromise and have a relationship survive long term. What he did severely compromised the trust. I hate to say this, but I would be very surprised if he is not cheating.
Either way, I don't see how you could ever trust him again.
2007-10-02 01:29:46 · answer #2 · answered by Darren 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does not matter if he cheated or not in the past. You have to be careful from now on. Open up your eyes and see life differently. People say a lot of thing in quarrels but the subject of cheating is so rude to mention even if someone really did. So if he is rude enough to mention it in fights he will be probably rude enough to do it.
2007-10-02 02:41:22 · answer #3 · answered by lost-in-love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should be worried, he obviously is feeling guilty and blurted out something he shouldn't have. He is getting tired of lying and hiding. He doesn't want to lose you because he really loves you, however he also doesn't want to lose the excitement of having an affair and he cannot decide which he wants more. It's up to you to make him chose either by leaving him or by accepting that he is a cheater. Follow your instinct and look into yourself you will know what to do.
2007-10-02 01:29:47 · answer #4 · answered by slsonya719 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch. Yeah, I'd be worried too. Ask him what would make him say such a ridiculous thing if it weren't true and then ask him to be completely honest with you. If he is telling the truth, he'll squirm. If he really did just say it to get to you, make sure he knows that that's completely unacceptable and that if your trust is shaken for awhile, that's his own fault.
2007-10-02 01:25:34 · answer #5 · answered by Shannon H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say it, but that would really worry me. I'd probably do a little detective work. Even if he finds out you are checking up on him, he couldn't possibly hold it against you after what he said.
2007-10-02 03:10:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh sweetheart. I'm sorry. The way I see it, it doesn't matter whether he is cheating and meant it or not. If he's cheating, it's time to go. If he just said it to be mean, it's also time to go. He's either a cheater or mean and clearly not good enough for you.
2007-10-02 02:30:04 · answer #7 · answered by ppsutt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably just said it to hurt you in the heat of the moment. I'd still be suspicious though, so maybe it's worth having a chat with him when he's not feeling tired.
2007-10-02 01:45:23 · answer #8 · answered by Miss Sally Anne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know i would be checking out his where abouts for a while to see if hes doing what hes suppose to be doing like working.. but he shouldn't of said those things to you.. he knew that would hurt your feelings and the cast doubt in your mind.. so he will have to live with that consequences.. being your checking up on him. good luck
2007-10-02 01:19:06 · answer #9 · answered by Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be worried. Do you know that he is really working? Has be had a history of cheating in the past? Make sure you and him talk about this to make sure that he didnt make it.
2007-10-02 01:15:25 · answer #10 · answered by <Carol> 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋