Shoplifting punishment??????

Question

17 year old daughter was caught with a friend shoplifting. The friend was arrested because she was actually carrying the items and my daughter was let go after I spoke to the police as she was not holding the merchandise.
I am heartbroken, disappointed and frightened for her and need to come up with a suitable punishment for her involvement. Yes, we've talked and she seems remorseful, but I need to make a stand about how unacceptable this is.
Any thoughts or ideas out there?

Wow! Thank you all for sharing your experiences- it makes me feel less alone with this.
She has been banned from the friend-and agreed. We took her to a police officer that teaches youth outreach and she gave her the standard lecture about shoplifting.
We have taken her TV, phone, ipod and computer priveleges away and she has a list of extra chores that involve helping her 3 siblings and has to earn back her things. Oh, she is grounded for one month unless there are any mishaps and then it will be longer.

Answer 1

Good Morning. I was caught at the same age.
Shoplifting was a thrill for me and a status thing among my friends.
I would recommend separating her from friend/friends. That is punishment in itself.
Also, I wish I had been sent to counseling. I was in emotional pain and really needed help.
I never did it again and I turned out to be an ok person. It's more common than you think.
Someone suggested community service. I think that is a wonderful idea.
You are a good person. Don't start thinking that you are a bad mother.

Answer 2

Embarrassing enough as it may be, I was once caught shoplifting at Walmart.
The embarrassment alone was enough to make me never do it again.
Then on top of that I had the horrible "talk" and knowing that I let me parents down and filled them with disappointment. That was honestly the worst feeling.

My mom explained to me that when I stole from the store, I was hurting the company and the community;
so she made me do a couple of hours of some community service at a local YMCA.
I've never even thought about doing it since. I was a good kid - just trying to be a little rebellious with a friend. I'm sure she's a great girl - probably just trying to find herself. I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 3

It might rely at the legislation for your state. You can seem that up on the net. But you do have a previous offense, even as no longer shoplifting, it used to be a bomb risk. You would possibly want a few counseling to determine why you maintain doing those unlawful hobbies. You're handiest 14 and no longer off to a best begin sweetie. Get support and switch your lifestyles round now. Good good fortune.

Answer 4

It may have been the result of peer pressure, because of an emotional upset or simply because she thinks it's the only way to have the things she wants. It may be a one time thing, but I think you need to find out what prompted her to do that before deciding on a punishment.

She's at an age where punishments mostly just make the kid angrier and more distant from their parents. You can impose a mild punishment just to show that the behavior won't be tolerated, but in order to really teach her something, I think you need to address the root of the problem and help her to help herself. If this happened as a result of peer pressure, then she needs a confidence boost most of all.

If she's worried about money, help her find a job. If she has an emotional issue, you may need to find her a counselor.

Answer 5

Tell her after she gets me an IPOD this has to stop. j/k This is tough. Most punishment is taking things from the guilty, their freedom /their cash/other privileges. I might be prone to make them do something. Action sticks longer. Work for the store or mall free for a month, intern at the BBB or Chamber of commerce. If none of that works a soup kitchen or some similar service to the downtrodden, especially serving convicts (a little dangerous for a 17 year old girl unless it is well supervised)

Answer 6

Make her get a job in a department store. Ive been there and done that. You have no idea how much department store workers have to do to deal with merchandise loss. Not to mention constantly picking up after people who pick things up and don't put them back, drop things on the ground and don't pick them up, un-package things, knock over things that are stacked and don't care that someone has to pick up behind them.

People who are normally very nice conscientious people don't give a rats behind that they make so much unnecessary work for people in stores!

Also she will learn the value of a dollar when she is making her own money. She wont be so ready to steel money from other people.

She also seems to have to much time on her hands. This will give her less time to get into trouble.

Answer 7

Make her write an apology letter and then give her the punishment the courts usually give. Give her community service hours, an essay and a shoplifting class (call your local juvenile court....they usually offer a class for shoplifters that explains the financial impact on businesses etc.). Plus, ground her for a couple of weeks and take away her phone, internet etc. She will get the message loud and clear.

Answer 8

I had the same experience with my son. He and his friend had to repay the store. He was SO humiliated and saw that I was so hurt and embarrassed that it never happened again. His older step brother was not so easily discouraged with petty drug possession. We told him that if we ever caught him with marajuana after the first time that we would call the police. He repeated and we did call the police. He was a minor so he was not susceptible to actual arrest. We did have him handcuffed and he had to sit in the squad car and have the police scare him to death with the proposition of real arrest, prosecution, and jail time. The police will work with you if you want to "put the fear of God" in your child and let them know what fire they are really playing with. After 18 you will have no control over the outcome of their offenses...the store where they shoplifted will have them arrested and they will be at the mercy of the court and their accusers.

Answer 9

she is remorseful because she got caught... if she didn't get caught how do you know she wouldn't do it again and again or even how many times before has she done it?? make her apologize to the owners of the store and the police men that caught her for wasting there time she will never forget this!! and a huge amount of grounding!!!!!! that includes no phone calls,no going out ,no having friends over and if she does extra curricula activities then you will have to stay with her!

Answer 10

have her do community service and make sure she pays 10x the amount to the owner she stole. I use to have a big shoplifting problem and I wish that I had been made to come to my senses.


I was caught 5 times in 4 years out of 500 attempts.