My husband comes on to other woman,, cont....?

Question

Hey guys.. I wrote about this not long ago. I had alot of great answers.
Here is the link for those of you that didnt read it.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Avw8oPFVq2BeJwlyx3KO8qHty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20070827202544AAHM8oy

Well, Tonight, it got really bad. My little sister has moved in with me. She came to me tonight in tears. She said that my husband is making her feel very weird and uneasy. He is coming up to her and grabbing her *** and saying out of the way things.
When I confront him and tell him he needs to apologize to her, he confronts her and tells her that he doesnt have to say anything to her, this is his house.
So, I made him leave.
I am so torn.
I am so tired of him doing this, but, then again I dont know how to live without him... Please give me some advice.

Stacie

I should add that my little sister is 25 years old. Not saying its ok. I just dont want anyone thinking that she is a minor.
Also, My husband is 41 and we have been together about 10 yrs.
I have had very long talks about this with him in the past. His excuse is always alchohol.
I also printed the whole post from the link above and asked him to read it. He through it in the floor and said he wasnt reading that ****.

Answer 1

As said before, he obviously views women as mere objects. Perhaps what he needs is some counseling. It sounds like he is addicted to porn and/or loves to go the strip clubs. These situations often promote such behavior and he has probably seen so much of it that he has internalized these attitudes himself and apparently has lost touch with reality since he now thinks it's ok to act out his fantasies at his family's expense.

This is a tough situation. If he is not listening to you and respecting you then that's another issue as well. He needs to learn how to respect himself and respect women. Then he needs to learn how to respect you.

I wish you the very best.

Answer 2

Your husband is merely human (not right but human). Bringing your young sister to the house was a main ingredient. Combined with alcohol on the part of your husband you have a recipe for disaster. Allowing your sister to move in was sort of like putting a new plaything in front of a child. Again, I am not condoning his behavior. I am just giving my opinion of it. I do agree with everyone else. It seems that he has no respect for any woman.
Did your sister not know what your husband is like, especially when he drinks? Also, did you consult with your husband before allowing her to move in? Being that the house probably belongs to both of you, it might have been a good idea to discuss the idea with him. Perhaps his behavior was an act in hopes of driving her out.
I also find it hard to believe that he left willingly when you threw him out. I would think a man who refers to the domicile as "his house" would be a little more forceful and insist that the sister go.
You don't know how to live without him? Ask yourself what's better??? living by yourself with the kids and having a life of your own or being merely a maid to a man whose heart is everywhere but with you??? It hurts in the beginning but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
This is the time now to stop being a doormat. The next thing to work on is your sister. At 25, why is she moving in with you? Is she paying rent or at least buying groceries? Is she babysitting??? Draw up an agreement with her. This is a must if you are determined to kick your husband out and let her stay. This will also ease the financial and child care burden a little bit. If she can't handle the agreement, show her the want ads and tell her to either find an apartment or room or find a roommate. Let her know that your home is not the Rescue Mission and that she will have to pull her weight.

Answer 3

Stacie, Ask yourself this? Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with a man who you cant trust? I mean if he can come onto your sister, whats to say he wont try pickin up on some other girl? And Im guessing chances are he already has. You did the right thing by standing by your sister, and she was in the right by confronting you, your husband is the one who was in the wrong! Hes the bad-guy here, not you, so stop letting him work on your feelings so much, right now he is gonna play every game, trick, and lie, to get you back on his team, dont fall for it. He has proved he cannot be a loyal husband, I mean how low can you go? trying to cop a feel on your own family member is sick! You say, you dont know how to live without him? This is typical in a situation where the wife has been mentally abused, you are a major co-dependent this is clear, so I really do recomend you seek help, you need to become a strong woman and be able to tell this guy, to leave and never come back, without shedding one tear. you can become stronger and wiser by going to a meeting for co-dependents, or Alanon, just look in your phone book or go on line. I really am wishing you the best!

Answer 4

First of all I don't want to judge you and your situation. You look like an attractive lady by your pic if it is you! This to me is very degrading what he is doing to you. It would be bad enough if it were a stranger but your own sister!! This guy has major issues and if he does this in your home imagine what he does when he is away. If you have children I can see people trying to make it work but if they are grown or you have none I would ditch this loser. You and every woman deserve better and once you cut this guy loose I bet he will totally loose it that is usually how it goes. There are nice men out there that respect women and would never put you in this situation. Move on before your self esteem gets any lower! Good luck and sorry about your experience.

Answer 5

Miss Stacie the best thing for you to do is just call it quits with him. I know you love him. But apparently he does not love you!!! If he did he would have stopped doing these things a long time ago. An now he is sexually assaulting your sister! Just imagine if he is brave enough to do this to your sister. Of how many other women he has degraded in this manner. I know you can live without him. A lot of women and men do it all the time that are in your position. An they can do it so can YOU! You and your kids will be in my prayers.

Answer 6

He needs to pull that with some woman with a REALLY big husband, some man that would knock him square on his rear.. Honey, I'm sorry but the guy is a bully.....he likes to shock and intimidate women. He gets his kicks terrorizing women. Knowing how he is, why would you let your sister move in? I know you love him but his actions are totally unacceptable. Are you really willing to tolerate this for the rest of your life? I'd be putting salt peter in his food for Pete's sake. You need to speak with a professional about his behavior.

Answer 7

He doesn't have any respect for you or other women. His bad behavior cannot be dismissed with the old alcohol gag. If alcohol changes his personality that much, he should give up drinking.

If you don't know how you can live without such an oaf, think about how great it would feel to not be embarrassed by him so regularly.

Answer 8

I am not standing up for the husband but give him one last chance. have a meeting with him with a pot of coffee on, no wait he might throw the hot liquid. mmm meet at a public place just you and him - maybe a park where it is relaxing and give him one last chance. This is what you should say "I love you and I want to be with you but your actions have gone to far. I will give you one last chance and if you dont change than i will and you will talk with my attorney." maybe should have left your family out of this. ask him what the problem is, (when he is sober) maybe just maybe he will tell you what is driving him crazy. if i were betting on the situation i would say it is your family. dont take it the wrong way family is very important but you are starting your "OWN" family and its is time for you to move on.

Answer 9

Well, well..If it looks like a pig, acts like a pig, rolls in mud like a pig, then it is a pig. You brought your sister into that environment? Very nervy of you, know how the pig acts You picked this man did you not....Stacie your a weak woman. You say your torn? Time for you to grow up show some backbone. Kick his a*** out forever...don't come back here unless you have made some changes..

Answer 10

I think you were right for making him leave. I can not believe he would even think it is ok to do something like that. You are married so that makes your sister his family. What he did is wrong in so many ways. He needs help and you need to really lay down the law to him. He does not respect you, and he does not seem to care about the consequences.