I feel like a queen when I’m in the spotlight,
Everybody watching me,
Day and night
I’m the center of attention,
It’s like I’m the object of an auction
But then, suddenly, the spotlight’s gone,
Away, away, it goes on its own
And now I’m the one to watch from outside,
I’m all alone; set aside
And in the darkness of this endless pit,
I must admit,
I feel like I was frostbit
I feel so lonesome,
Someone with little or no wisdom,
Killed by boredom
And even to this day,
I feel so incomplete
Even to this day,
I seek for popularity
I guess I’ll never learn.
That's just a poem I made right now, because that's how I feel right now. Personally, I don't think it's good at all; it's somehow lacking. But I was wondering what you think of it. Please be honest. What do you think? Thank you for answering.
2007-10-01 14:35:57 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
its good just change the ryme line up to 1,3 ryme 2,4 ryme etc...
2007-10-01 14:40:32 · answer #1 · answered by mhmd.2500 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it reads pretty good.. maybe a little off in rithym, but you have good expression.. you are probably young and maybe a little confused with what happens in life..but don't worry about it.. those kinds of things can be good teaching tools.. take the best of what there is and go with what you have.. young or old.. you will survive and be better..and remember.. the lime light is a fleeting thing.. but the life light is forever.. nothing is as good or as bad as it seems at the moment.. keep writing.. if you never turn into a great poet.. you can most certainly live a peotic life.. you write well.. keep it up..good luck and have a blessed day..
2007-10-01 21:44:38 · answer #2 · answered by J. W. H 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not to bad for just making it up, and no poem is bad if you like it , just remember that, it really does not matter what we all think as long as you like it..
and it good and it tells us how you feel and what you think of life and how you want to be when you get older and what you want out of life ... so its good....
keep up the good work.... take care :)))))))))))))))
2007-10-03 10:54:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
By the way you prefaced this I thought it would suck, but it was great. Clear thought, nice images, interesting self reflection.
2007-10-02 02:25:12 · answer #4 · answered by Ben Watson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ilike you poem it was quite cool.
2007-10-01 22:30:00 · answer #5 · answered by Cami lives 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it needs work, but you have a great concept
2007-10-01 22:42:28 · answer #6 · answered by mrs.waltdisney928 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not bad at all.Thanks
2007-10-01 21:45:19 · answer #7 · answered by HyperGforce 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its great! hope you get an A!
2007-10-01 21:42:53 · answer #8 · answered by skateme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋