what do you think?

Question

I am a stay at home mom of 2 I remember a time when I had hobbies and a life. No one really seems to know I exsist except the children I am feeling like a failure at everything. My marriage is rough...he cheated I am pretty, thin, dark long hair and ice blue eyes. I keep a clean home and do my best to educate and care for my girls. I just don't know how to keep going. My question is why should I? Yes the girls need me. What if I were gone though? What now is the difference? Live or die? Walk away? Just give up I am tired.

Answer 1

First of all think of your kids and what it would do to them and how it would affect them if you died or walked away.It would destroy them and mess them up for life.I take it that the kids are not in school yet? If they're not you should get into some kind of crafts,sewing or quilting.Plus you could always think of selling them to make extra money.If the kids are in school think about a part time job.Get an appointment with your dr and tell your dr how you are feeling.Its possible that the dr would put you on antidepressants.They were a lifesaver for me and the dr could possibly suggest you see a therapist.Do you have anyone that could watch the kids a few hours a week to give you time to yourself.We all need that.Take that time to go shopping or get your hair done or have lunch with a friend.You have a lot to live for and to go on for,your children.
I am 45 years old and I used to think of the time when my kids got grown and out on their on and how then I would be able to do things I had never done.I got married at 15 had my first child at 16 and yes I am still married to the same man.he has cheated on me twice but we worked it out both times and now we are bestfriends,we get along better now than we ever have.
As I was saying I always thought I would still be young enough when my kids got grown that I could still accomplish alot in my life.I was without young kids for awhile but not long.Cause I am now raising 3 of my grandkids,I have a 4 year old,that I've had since she was born,She calls me mommy,then 7 months ago,I got her 2 year old brother and her newborn brother who I also brought home from the hospital.
Yes some days I get so worn out and feel as if I can no longer go on.I am also disabled due to a drunk driver hitting me headon several years ago and I've had several surgeries due to the wreck.But when I get to feeling sorry for myself all I have to do is look into those precious little faces and they smile at me and I know without a doubt I can go on and what would they do if they did not have me.Those babies are my life,that is the good Lord had in mind for me when He kept me from dying in the car wreck.I knew He had a plan for me but I just did not know what it was until the day I brought home my 4 year old from the hospital.
You say your marriage is rough,go talk to someone and work on it.If you both love one another it will work out.You just have to be determined and fight for it to work.
Good Luck and I hope everything works out..

Answer 2

As your girls get older you will gradually get your life back. It is very hard to be home with the kids. But when they are in school - you can start working part time or take up a creative hobby that will bring you inot contact with other people. You could also form a mom's group. I would put your energy on yourself whenever possible - and not put the focus on your husband. He was wrong to cheat - no question. But now it's about you feeling better and helping to bring up your girls so that they feel good about themselves.
There is nothing more devastating to a child than to lose a parent. Hang in there - it will get alot better.
If you are really depressed - there is medicine that can help. Don't hesitate to get help and use all tools that are available to you.

Answer 3

First, drop the ego, honey. You may be pretty, but that doesn't last forever.

Second, if he cheated why haven't you tossed him out? No woman has a right to b**ch about a man cheating on her when she keeps him afterward. If it's unacceptable to you (which it SHOULD be) TOSS HIM.

Third, You "are a stay at home mom of 2". Those girls are your life and hobbies now, and there is NOTHING you can list that is more important than them. Instead of whining about how you've lost your independence, be PROUD and strong as a mother. Believe me, they're gone sooner than you can believe and then you can go back to nightclubbing or crocheting or whatever.

Fourth, if "no one really seems to know [you] exist except the children" WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT?????? They will be off to school within 5 years and then you can get a part time job if you want to be "known".

Fifth, you can't be serious about walking out. It's selfish, childish and would be a horrible blow to your girls. YES it matters. If you are depressed, get counseling. If you want to talk to other adults, join a play group or get a babysitter once a week.

Answer 4

What hobbies did you have before the girls came along? Take them up again. Volunteer...there's lots you can do with the girls along! Many organizations run thrift shops, or organize fund raisers, etc...

How old are the girls? Consider becoming a Girl Scout Leader. Go camping with them, learn new skills, enroll in classes.

Join a bowling league. Learn to ride a motorcycle (take the course to learn), start running and join a running club, start riding a bicycle to the parks with the girls (buy a Burley trailer, they'll love it.

While you're starting whatever activity/job/task you decide to start with, seek counseling. You're suffering from mild depression (it sounds like to me, but I'm not a doctor), and need some help to get past it.

Also, seek marriage counseling so you and your husband can fix your marriage together.

Answer 5

Wow. That doesnt sound like a virgo in any understand. it would desire to easily be the adult adult males and females you understand thinking the undeniable fact that i understand many virgos and that they are very docile. they're laid returned now no longer actual abusive. maximum virgos arent developed so hard the two they're tall in maximum situations lol and that they seem to be somewhat picky, sarcastic yet now no longer verbally abusive. and all and sundry gets mad normally, your individuals basically take it to a distinctive point and no offense in spite of the undeniable fact that it appears that evidently like they desire help in the event that they're bodily abusive. And u being a libra you're impressive, u wont comprehend them lol. Libras decide for in a well timed vogue before despite. They dont study each and all of the information like a virgo does so as that they gained't get alongside all that reliable too. No offense. it relies upon upon start charts and u've checked they're majority virgo....What approximately their mars sign? Cuz if its virgo then they wont be abusive in any of the journey, that they had be the opposite! Virgos are often candy hearts with OCD =].

Answer 6

GET HELP NOW!!!!!! Even though it all seems sooooo pointless. I too stopped wanting to live, because my ex beat me down until I wasn't able to conceive of a day that I wouldn't wake to pain, spend the day in pain, and have to drink waaaay too much, just to blot out the pictures in my mind. I went so far as to attempt suicide. I tried to paddle out into our local river on an inner tube, with two cement blocks tied to my legs, carrying my shotgun. I planned to kill myself, and let my body sink to the bottom. I was lucky, in that a freighter wave tipped me over before I got to deep water. Lost the gun, and had to wade back to shore carrying blocks. Since then, while I STILL hate her, I know she isn't worth my death. Even though it seems impossible, someday you WILL smile. You'll even find good things in this life. Your children DO matter, and harming yourself would harm them.

Answer 7

You need to go talk with someone....I think at some point we all feel this way. But, your girls are going to need you all their life. Who is going to teach them if your gone? Who is going to stand beside them when their first boyfriends breaks their heart? Who is going to be there when they give birth to their first child? As for your husband if you no longer love him then you need to move on and teach the girls to be strong woman....If you do love him get into some marriage counseling....

Answer 8

Sounds like depression, big time. If he cheated, I wouldn't stay. When guys, especially married, cheat it doesn't have anything to do with their wife, that is just an excuse, and it has nothing to do with your looks.. You are young, I say get out now. Men are self centered, selfish, and very inconsiderate.

Answer 9

you need to just take care of your girls. They need you and they are helpless and they are precious. You need to stop worrying about things. Stop worrying about having a man. Worry about your little babies. Live for them. Be positive, for you are not a failure. Did your momma give up on you? I'm sure she didn't.

Answer 10

I'm sorry,but you can't change anyone but you.You have your children,they do need you,I'll bet you are a survivor,rather than a victim,if not I know you can be,The Lord be with you.Know that you are not alone.