Do you think it's possible for a person to be TOO nice?

Question

I'm beginning to feel like a pushover in handling my business. I was asked to draw a piece of artwork for someone and haven't been paid for it yet. My friend told me that I'm too nice, and I have to be more aggressive in order to succeed in any business. It's not in my nature to be mean, but I'm beginning to think that maybe she's right.

What irritates me the most is that the person doing this actually owns and helps operate her own business with her husband (home remodeling business). I'm sure she wouldn't stand for the same being done to HER!

Answer 1

You probably have no written contract with this person, so you will have no way of collecting if you decide to pursue it. Look at it as a lesson learned & don't repeat it. No need to be mean to anyone, but you should learn how to cover yourself in the future from this type of a person/customer/client. It looks like it could be a potential tax write-off (if you earn enough for that). Get yourself some type of a written agreement with terms of payment spelled out clearly & terms of collection, should they choose not to pay you. If you hire a collection agency, then you will forfeit 50-60% right off the bat to the company that goes after your deadbeat customer. This can backfire & leave the deadbeat angry at you & causing you a lose of future revenue. There are many things to consider. Have you simply tried just sending them a "thank you for your business" card? It's subtle & sometimes effective enough to get some people to send you a check for call you about payment arrangements. If they don't, then you send them a DEMAND LETTER that is worded nicely, yet firmly (Have You Forgotten Us?). Tell them how much they owe, the date you expect payment, the consequences if they do not pay by said date, & a call back number for them to arrange a payment schedule or arrange an alternative method of payment. Give them 30 days. Then give them a second letter & made sure it clearly states in large letter "2nd Notice, Payment Overdue." On the 3rd Notice... "URGENT-Collection Agency will be contacted within 10 days if you fail to call or contact us". Do the last 2 demand letters USPS certified mail so that you have a record of the person who is accepting & picking up the mail at the customers address. If they are refused, then you will have the returned cards as proof that you tried to contact them at the stated address. Judges don't like people who lie about their mailing addresses on an outstanding bill. You must make a choice of how you want to run your business. Most artists lack the basic know-how of retail sales & collection skills. You might want to hire an outside agency or seek out someone with skills to assist you in setting up a basic receipt & payment contracts. Let your customers know that if they won't be paying cash upfront, then they will be dealing with an outisde company that will not allow them to ignore the agree upon payment schedule. You will need to get copies of their photo id & social security card if you intend to extend credit to your customers. You will need proof of employment (check stub) & ask to see a piece of mail that has their name address on it (to verify residence). This will be your only way of recovering lost monies from flakey people. You will have to go to court & file liens & judgements on customers who won't pay you if you want to succeed. If not, then just work on a cash basis & keep it simple. That's the only way you can continue to be an artist without the headaches of having to deal with all of the headaches of collections & verifications. If the customers says, "You can trust me. I NEED the artwork for my upcoming advertising campaign & I will pay you after I see the results", what they are really saying is, "I don't have any money & your artwork is going to make me money...please finance my business for me". If you can afford to do it, then know that it could be a gamble that you will never be paid for. At least ask for some type of a trade out in merchandise or services if your customer has no money to work with! Make them pay for your lunch or dinner or ask for minimum hourly wages for the time you spent on the project. At the very least, you should ask that your original be held in your possession & only give them a copy that is clearly stamped with your name & a copyright date!

Answer 2

Now it has been a heck of a long time since I was a billing clerk, but I seem to remember that there are laws in place that require payment in full on accounts EVEN WITHOUT A SIGNED CONTRACT not to exceed 90 days.

Do you have an Accountant handling your billing? Maybe you should think to hire one...there are people that specialize in small businesses.

An Accountant (or small business bookkeeper) with any experience at all will know all the laws and statutes regarding just this.

Maybe you should check into it to see if it would be worth your while to hire someone qualified in billing laws?

Answer 3

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Remember: Nobody can act like the character of Gentle Jesus all the time. Sometimes an expressed opinion needs a little "edge" to it, and other times you can ultra-politely express your thoughts. There is no perfect form of behavior all the time. In the bible, even God gets angry, has regrets, becomes sad, and makes mistakes. If somebody took advantage of me, it's because I let them get away with it. If somebody walked all over me, it's because I laid down and invited it. Sometimes to be a really cool person, you have to let people use you a bit. Not everything and everyone can be controlled all the time. Balance is the key.

Answer 4

Yes, don't ever be too nice when it is about your business.

I am not mean either, but I sure have been taken advantage of in the past.

I would prefer to use the word assertive for your situation. Just flat tell her that you need your money because without it, you cannot make your buiness grow. This someone will understand. Make sure you get a receipt and don't let anyone except close, close friends pay it out. You need to call that person and tell them you need the money. They bought something from you without paying and that is wrong.

Your friend is right regarding business.

I wish you great success in your work.

Answer 5

I have been accused of this for years. And now there are some real devil wears Prada type women in business. The new age people say to just do things right and things will go your wAy in time, but it can take a loooong time while we watch ruthless people prosper, not an easy one to answer. I am beginning to think it is true that good people win in the end but it IS a tortuous slow process.

Answer 6

People push limits so you must set them, firmly.
An example is with an employee who is late to work a nice employer wouldn't dock their pay or call them on the carpet. Soon they would be late more often and later. A nice boss wouldn't want to confront them so would simply tell them they weren't needed anymore. A firm boss would let them know that punctually was important and make them fell they were wrong not to plan better.
The same happens to daycare centers that don't fine parents for being late even for 5 minutes, soon it is 10-15 then an hour. Nipping it in the bud is confrontational but better for everyone.

Answer 7

A lot of people will try to get out of paying what they owe and sometimes you wont believe the ones that do this. When I worked in business with my husband I had several clients that could afford but was slow or had to be prodded, an attorney, a judge and one corporate president. The people that probably couldn't afford to pay always did right on time.

Answer 8

Dear Flowerchild...please contact me via email...you have a lot to learn, and I have already written an entire section of a website for the small business owner. Those who have followed my advice have called to thank me on many, many occasions..and yes, there are ways to handle this without being rude or pushy...it is, in fact, they who are being pushy and rude..if not out and out cheating you of your product. Please drop a line..I cannot post the site here, for it is my business site, and I do not publicize in Yahoo Answers ... that is not what this site is for. I am a small/medium sized company that deals with a great amount of public daily.. I have had every trick in the book "tried to be" pulled on me...and I will teach you to spot it in a moments notice. There is no such thing as being too nice, but there is such a thing as being taken advantage of...you don't have to allow yourself to be taken advantage, and you can remain just as nice as you are at the same time...I will happily show you the skills it takes to do both at the same time. Love and peace, Goldwing

Answer 9

Is the problem being too nice or just like me being a push over. People never hesitate asking me to do them favors,or can I cook someting for their party, or can I carpool someone's grandkids. I never say no, its hard to say no,but when I needed a ride to a hospital in a big city and I don't drive in large cities, not 1 person could do it, this one was working, that 1 had to babysit, this 1 had a nail appointment,so I said ok, ask me a favor again,and of course they did and I finally said no, I can't, I'm busy. People like us are mad as heck and won't take it anymore!Ask for your money owed and don't feel bad, its owed to you.

Answer 10

Flowerchild, I am with you. I took care of a friends some who had cerebral palsy and a seizure disorder. The disability board paid me, except she failed to turn in the paperwork. It was at her house 2 days in advance, al she had to do is sign it, she "forgot". Since we are only paid once a month, this caused tremendous difficulty last month for me. My automatic debits were paid, my car insurance and another one, but caused bank charges that cost over $100.00, she never even apologized to me.

That was the second time, I am done with it and her. I have bills I have to pay, it would have been nice to be able to buy groceries too

BTW, I went to her house, and she bought new furniture..I am done