I have been with him for over two years...and we have had ups and downs just like anyone else...I love him and I hope he loves me..(he shows it sometimes and I do beleive he does)...lately..well since we have been together he has been lying about little things but I feel as though if he lies about little things...then this will get him in the habit of lying about big things that are serious. he has lied about two major things that has jepordized our relationship...I love him and really want to make this work...I have talked to him about this and sometimes it seems as though we come to an understanding but then it all changes again...I pray abput this relationship and I want it to work..I feel insecure when I am with him cause it seems as though other woman are his main target.I would really like this relationship to be based on loving me as his girlfriend..but he always checking out other girls and doing other things that hurts me.I dont think a man should look cause he is a man
2007-10-01 11:27:31 · 15 answers · asked by old 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think he should love me and respect me...what should I do..to trust him and get this relationship back to happiness...please...i am not going to break up...we have so much amoung us...please give me resonable answers..God Bless...thank you for your answers.
2007-10-01 11:28:42 · update #1
Two years to be having problems of this magnitude is really sad. A liar will ruinin a marriage fast. Tell him it's really important to tell the truth. The lack of trust will end a marriage very fast.
2007-10-01 11:30:44 · answer #1 · answered by ranch_tester 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i'm going threw the same thing with my boyfriend and he's constantly lying about little things but one really big thing and I caught him by accident on the phone saying pretty descripitive things to another girl we've been together for a year. He assures me he's not cheeting on me and I'm just reading into things to much and a conversation he said he never should've had. That he was just lonely cause I work nights he works days sucks huh. I don't want to leave him I'd do anything for him but honestly once a cheater always a cheater. But still I'm clinging on to hope to we live together with my three kids and we've only been together for a year. Girls were not very smart. I meen he hasn't even said i love you yet. well once when he was drunk. He doesn't even remember. you know its not going to matter what anyone tells you to do cause in the end only you can make that choice. My guy friends say if he knows how you feel about him just tell him its to much for you its either all of you or none of you then leave if he really cares he'll come back it could take up to a month. But don't let him think he can have part of you whenever he wants. 97% of the time if they have been around this long they do love you but thats the only way to truly know. good luck.
2007-10-01 11:52:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he makes u feel insecure he may not be the right man for u, also the lying is a bad trait. u want what every other woman wants, but u may have to leave this relationship to get it. if u have talked to him about how his behavior hurts u and he makes no changes, he doesn't intend to. u have to look at what u have and decide if this is what u want out of life. if he is looking at others it may just be a matter of time before he strays.
2007-10-01 13:39:10 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't have trust in a relationship it probably won't last. Because without trust and understanding you don't have much. If you want it to work you need to get him to stop lying to you about things. Don't get mad if he looks at other women that's just a man thing. You only have to worry if he touches. Good luck with getting your relationship back on track.
2007-10-01 12:10:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is not something you can give freely. It is something that has to be earned and until he proves himself to you, you have no other choice. It sounds as though you love him but....there should be only so much you are expected to take. It also sounds like he don't respect you at all. If you let him get by with these things, he is going to continue doing them. We teach people how to treat us and if we let them, they will walk all over us. Open your eyes, even though you love him, you don't have to put up with his crap... A person lying to you is an absolute deal breaker. To me, that is one of the highest forms of disrespect. Tell him to stop it and stop it now, and if he don't listen, move on. ...unless....you don't really mind being walked on...
2007-10-01 12:38:55 · answer #5 · answered by lucylocket7258 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um...in order to be able to trust someone THEY have to work to earn it, espeically someone with a history of lying. You can't magically make him honest. You can't magically make him grow up and start behaving like the man you want him to be.
The only person you can control is yourself and your emotions as well as your instincts are telling you to drop this zero and find yourself a hero. You deserve someone who will actually love you, not just tell you the things you want to hear when the relationship hits critical mass for destruction. Stop letting him manipulate you, stop defining yourself by this relationship and start treating yourself with some respect. He sure isn't.
2007-10-01 11:34:40 · answer #6 · answered by Saphira 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may love him, but he might not love you. He lies about things and you still want a relationship him. Think about it, you love him, but if he loved you, he wouldn't lie to you.
You may want this to work, but it takes two and if he isn't trying then you will be the only one in this relationship trying. That's not a good start, and could be an uphill battle.
2007-10-01 11:35:20 · answer #7 · answered by harold 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make someone love or respect you and he clear doesn't feel either for you. You are hoping aganist hope that he will feel the same about you as you feel about him and that is not going to happen You are his personal DOORMAT. You sound very young and as someone older I am telling you if you don't dump this guy you will have a life time of heartache.Please wise up.....
2007-10-01 11:35:16 · answer #8 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a man does not respect you or love you than you dont need him i dont care how much in love you think you are do you want to be his door mat or his wife one day.
If you feel insure in this realtionship work it out stay in it if it makes you happy. The choice is yours.
best of luck
2007-10-01 11:32:18 · answer #9 · answered by mmurray001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he should respect you but he doesn't, if he's checking out other women then he's probably tired of you. You shouldn't waste your time with this guy, he seems like a loser. But maybe you like having your heart broken and like to go through tough times. I say change your style of living and thinking.
2007-10-01 12:20:46 · answer #10 · answered by Formulated 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋