so many question about spouses cheating and they know about it but want to show proof. i have been cheated on and of course he denied it to the end and i had proof but never showed it to him because he know what he did. i never heard of any case other than cheating where people say i know it but need to proof it to him/her. i guess they are in denial still. either way, why lower yourself and run around showing him/her about what they did wrong?
2007-10-01 11:10:32 · 11 answers · asked by not this way 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you know he cheated, and have proof,what more do you need. We usually know WAY in advance out partners are cheating but refuse to believe our instincts.
But for some odd reason we all need visual or verbal vreivication. The truth is what it is regardless of what we want it to be.
xxx
2007-10-01 11:53:06 · answer #1 · answered by Shel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because part of the betrayal and pain of being cheated on is how they insult your intelligence and self-worth by denial and playing mind games. One hallmark of a cheater is how hard they work to make it not their fault. They nearly always will play head games trying to blame everything but themselves. When you show them proof, it can cut through the BS and make them stop pretending which is something of a relief. You can't move forward if you have some doubts left. Having proof allows you to move on in whichever direction you choose.
And proof lets you know you're not crazy. LOTS of cheaters try to make you think you're paranoid or crazy. It's a technique called "gaslighting"
2007-10-01 19:03:35 · answer #2 · answered by Cassandra G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably for a couple of reasons. Just to prove to themselves that they are right about it, and aren't always second guessing the explanations they get from their partner. In some cases there can be very convincing, or plausible reasons for some behavior, but if you have undeniable proof you know for sure, no matter what they say, and it's always nice to throw what you have in their face, just to show you aren't as stupid as they think you are. In fact they are the dumb ones for leaving evidence to be discovered. It's just a small way of getting a fraction of your dignity back from them I guess.
2007-10-01 18:36:01 · answer #3 · answered by ♦justme♦ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Proof = certainty.
Plenty of women like to think they can "feel" what is happening - and they are wrong. Otherwise, men couldn't hide affairs from women for so long - think about it!
Objective proof tells your head - "it's not just me with a case of heartburn feeling funny. I have facts."
Notice you GOT proof. So what if he never saw it - YOU GOT IT. You are no better than anyone else -- you gathered proof. Period.
Other than that, great post!
2007-10-01 18:16:29 · answer #4 · answered by filthy_crumb 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe its not just to show it to the other person, but to themselves. Its one thing to think someone is cheating on you and feel as though they are, but solid proof leaves no doubt in your mind.
2007-10-01 18:14:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because people think that if they don't see them doing it themselves that it didn't happen, they think that their partner could never do something like that. I think that people throw out a lot of clues when they are doing something that they shouldn't be doing and if you know your partner well enough, you will know when they are doing something like that behind your back. You don't need proof, if you doubt they are being faithful, they aren't.
2007-10-01 18:33:20 · answer #6 · answered by littleone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because some people will say you are wrong without the proof.
2007-10-01 18:25:00 · answer #7 · answered by harold 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I never understood that, either. Leaving a relationhsip isn't a court of law. You don't have to show proof beyond a reasonable doubt to be allowed to leave.
2007-10-01 18:14:26 · answer #8 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not accusing an innocent person, via the proof you need there is no need to show it to the cheater. Like you said, he knows. I like your spunk and the fact you didn't stick around to let him repeat this behavior continuously... Good for you...
2007-10-01 18:18:40 · answer #9 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People want closure, I guess, and want the other person to admit to the wrongdoing, even it they have to force the admission.
I agree with you - if I KNOW something that I feel is unacceptable, and the other person is denying it, I will stick with what I know, and go from there.
2007-10-01 18:15:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋