You like my essay? 7th grade double accelerated S.S.? Correct me if any errors.?

Question

Through the years, many different groups of early people came to the Americas. Seeds were planted, and they grew into various cultures. Some were alike and some were different. The Iroquois and the Zuni tribes were among these groups. Their cultures had several discrepancies and several similarities.
The Zuni tribe had many different customs and ways of life that were unlike others. They lived on the border of New Mexico and Arizona, along the Zuni River. Most of their lives revolved around their religion, which played an immense role in their society. They had three “most powerful deities” – Earth Mother, Sun Father and Moonlight-Giving Mother. Their language was simply called Zuni; it’s similar to the languages of other tribes too. Pottery is an important part of their art, in their later years; there have been more men potters than woman.
One factor that was different between these Native Americans was the food they ate. Because they lived in diverse areas of America, they didn’t have many of the same crops available. The Zuni tribe lived in an area where there was very little rainfall, so most of the food they ate was hunted for. The Iroquois on the other hand, depended on their three sister crops: corn, beans, and squash. The people of the Zuni did have some crops though; there were gardens, which consisted of herbs, spices, corn, beans, and squash. The Iroquois people fertilized their gardens using fish heads. The Zuni women prepared the food too.
The clothing of many Native American tribes was also very different. The climate of the location definitely affected the type of apparel a tribe would wear. Both groups wore clothing made of animals. The Zuni tribe used the hide of sheep or wool that was spun. The Iroquois used deer and other animal skins. Each group also wore moccasins and jewelry. During the colder seasons, the people of the Zuni Native American tribe would wear feathers, silver, head wraps and capes too. The women would often wear dresses, aprons and leggings. The men would wear loincloth, which is two pieces of cloth or two animal skins tied together at the waist.
The types of homes were another part of a culture that was different from others. The Iroquois tribe had longhouse that could be as long as 150 feet by 20 feet. The Zuni tribes had pit houses, which could range in size. They were covered with branches, weeds, and mud. But as time went on, they lived in stone houses, which were built on top of each other. The stone houses were covered with plaster and mud; they also have ladders connecting them. The Iroquois longhouses were made of tree bark and grasses. There are usually two smoke holes in the roof for ventilation, when it rains there are leather flaps that cover them. One longhouse can hold multiple families and there is only one door made of animal skin.
As time went on many different cultures grew and became powerful. These differences, including their clothing, food, and shelter, made the tribes individually rich in culture. The Iroquois and the Zuni tribes are just two of all the early tribes who first came to the Americas. While some of these cultures have almost vanished, they are still recognized by he imaginations of those know the past.

Answer 1

instead of
in their later years, there have been more men potters than women

use

more male potters than women

instead of
The Iroquois tribe had longhouse that could be as long as

use

had longhouses that could be as long as

last sentence:
While some of these cultures have almost vanished, they are still recognized by THE imaginations of those WHO know the past.

Sorry, I'm an A++ GPA nitpicker.

Hope it helps.

Answer 2

Very good, I'm sure it will grade out well.

One minor stylistic point. Don't be afraid to use shorter sentences. Have faith in the power of your words. In your first paragraph particularly, you tended to run on your sentences and be redundant (like this). By the second paragraph, you had found your rhythm, and the rest of the paper flowed beautifully.

Don't worry, lead paragraphs are the hardest to write. Maybe something like this...

"Through the years, many different groups of people came to the Americas. Cultural seeds were planted, and their societies grew strong and healthy. The Iroqouis and Zuni tribes, were two good examples. Their cultures, while similar, had several significant differences."

Answer 3

i think it's great! a total A+