What is Family?

Question

I have a best friend, of over twenty years, who has two small children. I have been involved with her family since she got married and love her children like family. She often complains her own family doesn't spend enough time with her kids and they act like it's some sort of "obligation" to come over on the kids birthdays. I love spending time with her and her kids and often offer to baby sit or whatever if her and her husband need a break, especially since their own families seem to often be "too busy" to help baby sit. Here's my question. I get upset/dissapointed because whenever she has a birthday celebration for her kids she invites "family only". I don't get invited because I am not a relative, even though her brother in laws girlfriend can come. Do you think this is right? I've spoken to her about it, but she says birthdays are one of the only times her family ever sees the kids and she wants to keep it a family event.

Answer 1

You sound like part of the family to me. Did you tell her you feel like part of the family and that it hurts you when your not invited? Maybe you could ask to take the kids out for a day near their birthday for a little party for yourself.

Answer 2

I think a family is a group of relatives that all love each other in any condition, and are their for each other. Even though at times it may feel like just the opposite, but when thick comes to thin, the ones you love will help you through, if you tell them what the problems are in your life are, and how to deal with them.



I don't think that it is right that your not invited to birthdays, even so sometimes you just need to concentrate on your own family. Don't dwell on being denounced, I am sure there are reasons behind these approaches.
My sister dislikes my mother because of how she was raised, but we have been through a lot together (the whole family).
Even though a family has its troubles I know this, there is good times and then there are the bad.

Answer 3

First of all you need to tell her that you and her are best friends. It seems that she doesn't realize some very important issues of what family really is. And about the unfair complex that you're pressing on her brother-in-law's girlfriend, it isn't her fault, so don't place your blame there...you're putting anger where it shouldn't go, this could cause some unfair problems and break friendships. It is a family event but you have the right to be angry at the fact, not the people. You need to speak with her about this, you need to tell her how you feel about this, and how she feels about you. You two are friends, she needs to understand this as well.

Answer 4

I understand how you feel. It happens ever so often in our lives. People are hard to describe. When they need you, you're consider family to them. When it comes to celebrations you're always being left out. Don't despair thats part and parcel of our lives. Your friend is also right not inviting you but her family and that gf is also consider 'family' since its her bro in law's gf. Anyway, family event can be boring for a non family member, get what I mean?

Answer 5

well looking at your point of view i think that is not right cause if u treat these kids as your nice or nephew and when is time for them to have a certain celebration they turn u down. why don't she turn u down when they want the kid to be taken care of. They should respect u as a family cause when their family is not there to take care of that kids it is u who they can depend on so u should be depended on when it is time to celebrate there birthday or any other gathering.

Answer 6

No its not right because you should b considered family if u spend more time with the kids than the real family does its just plain wrong

Answer 7

say that No birthdays are just special days when your kids turn another year older. I invite friends over.

Answer 8

I think it is wrong, but don't start a fight over this. Don't rely on her. Remember a brother will always be a brother no matter what happens, a mother will always be a mother no matter what happens, but a friend will come and go. I'm not saying that she will go for sure. But don't rely your life on her.

Answer 9

THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF FAMILY THOSE WHO ARE RELATED BY BLOOD OR MARRIAGE AND THOSE WHO ARE RELATED BY LOVE. GUESS YOU ARE NEITHER TO YOUR FRIEND. YOU HAVE SEVERAL CHOICES; 1. TELL THEM TO GET LOST, 2. PRETEND NOTHING IS WRONG, OR3.BEGIN REMOVING YOURSELF FROM THE EQUATION.

Answer 10

i think you should be invited but it's her choice and you cant really invite yourself. i understand that you are close enuf 2 be family but theres really nothing you can do about it.