I am taking tennis classes 3 times a week. There are 2 disabled students in my class and they have their own mentor who makes sure they are safe, etc. So for the past two weeks or so, I have been noticing that one of the disabled students has a crush on me. He stares at me for a long time, but what is even more uncomfortable is he comes and stands right behind me, very close to me. I don't know what to do, it's making me feel very uncomfortable. I am kinda of shy to tell the kid off or should I talk to his mentor?
Do you think that kid would understand if it was explained to him not to stand so close to me?
2007-10-01 09:43:57 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ People with Disabilities
note: I do not not like him because he is disabled. I would not like any stranger who comes and stands very very close to me.
2007-10-01 09:51:35 · update #1
wow thanks Richard so much! It's a mental disability by the way.
2007-10-01 09:53:51 · update #2
I have to agree with Semper Fi Reborn
Speaking to to him directly rather than through his mentor about how it is inappropriate for him to stand to close too you or anyone else, also tell him how uncomfortable you feel when someone is standing too close to you.
By all means have his mentor present when talking to him so there is no misunderstanding, and he or she can ensure the young man does understand what is being said. Be friendly in your approach and introduce yourself (first name only). If you feel you can't do this by yourself take a trusted friend who wont giggle when you talk to him as support.
Despite this young mans mental/cognitive disability he has the same thoughts and feelings as anyone else and should be spoken too, rather than at when tackling inappropriate behaviours he may well have fairly good comprehension skills especially if he is learning to play tennis.
Don't be afraid to talk to him, he may not be aware how uncomfortable you feel or inappropriate his behaviour is, and he wont learn if he is not told.
Another thought is where is he mentor when this is happening, and why are they not telling him this is not appropriate?
Good luck with this issue and the tennis
2007-10-01 12:45:11 · answer #1 · answered by Georgie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just ask him not to stand so close. But remember, some disabilities cause an inability to understand social norms (like personal space) so don't yell at him or tell him off. Ask him nicely to back up a bit when he's right on top of you, and if he doesn't stop tell the mentor. Be gentle with this guy though, ok?
2007-10-01 09:48:49 · answer #2 · answered by Eraserhead 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a BA and have had social work kinds of jobs in my past. I gave up social work for three reasons: 1. My heart breaks too much for the people I was trying to help. 2. No one trained me enough to know what to do. 3. Minimum wage and less wasn't enough to live on. You don't need a BA to work with disabled kids. You need at least a masters, if you're planning on surviving on the money you make. (And even there, you will be poor, unless you marry someone who makes a lot more money.)
2016-03-19 03:18:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that rather than worrying about all of this, you should just say "Hi" to the kid. Talk to him. He won't bite and he's not a disease. He's another human being. You might be his friend and be able to make a difference in his life. Who knows, you may learn something too. Eventually, if you find that he does have a crush, you can let him down easy.
By no means should you "tell him off". That would be cruel. He may be handicapped, but he's a person and has feelings too.
2007-10-01 09:54:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to his mentor. They will know what to do.
And you can always be his friend (in school). Just because you aren't attracted to him, doesn't mean you should "tell him off."
Disabled people are some of the sweetest people in the world.
And he is not a stranger to you. You see him 3 times a week, therefor, he is not a stranger.
2007-10-01 09:52:02 · answer #5 · answered by Skyleigh's Mom :)™ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go talk to the boy and his mentor. Take them into the corner and explain to the mentor that the boy creeps you out when he stands behind you. The mentor should be able to get this through to him. Is he autistic, metally retarded or do you know?. I have a 15 year old non-verbal autistic son who was doing the same thing and we used a social story with him and we no longer have the problem. If the mentor cannot control him then they might have to switch the boy to another class.
Good Luck Hope this Helps
2007-10-01 15:52:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Evidently, you are a beautiful person, inside and out. Disabled people have a blessing of seeing things that no one else sees. You must be a good peice of work. Give the person a break. Jesus must be shining through you and no one can help being noticed. God Bless You!
2007-10-01 09:50:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him nicely, calmly, but firmly that it's not appropriate to do such a thing. Speak to his mentor, and ask his mentor for assistance in this matter. Tell the student that friends don't invade each other's spaces. Be friendly and smile, but be firm. You may have to be repetitive.
2007-10-01 09:51:40 · answer #8 · answered by Semp-listic! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Treat him like any other boy and be polite and ask him not to crowd your space, but in a polite way, maybe saying that you can't concentrate or swing your racket correctly. If he continues, then talk to his mentor. But be polite about it - don't say he creeps you out or anything like that. I am sure he will understand once you explain it to him.
2007-10-01 09:50:27 · answer #9 · answered by oldbeatlefan53 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just talk to the boy, unless he cannot hear or comprehend ,it is polite to discuss matters with him just as you would do with anyone else. Disabled kids are people too.
2007-10-01 10:00:00 · answer #10 · answered by tubby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋