they say people fear what they dont understand....
what if you couldnt understand what you fear?
i am soft-spoken. yet i tend to be loud and laugh-y in front of close friends and family. why am i like this? i go through this everyday when im alone at lunch. i know i should step up but i dont want to be a bother/annoyance etc. its hard and im looking for the answer up above and not "be yourself" "just talk to a peer" "be more open" etc.
2007-10-01 09:33:28 · 5 answers · asked by Mango 5 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
Check it out Mango. You are young, I assume that because you are talking about being at lunch. The problem with being young is this. Your brain is not done doing what it is going to do. So you have all this social anxiety and you want to break free from it but you cant, and you wont. And that is ok. The outgoing person you are with your friends is likely who you will be in the future around people you do not even know that well. But baby girl, you cant force this stuff. People will tell you to be open, or tell you to do this or that, well you cant, your brain is not ready. Give yourself a break kiddo and let your personality develop on its own without beating yourself up for not being this or that. Be Mango yo, peace out my *****.
2007-10-01 09:40:43 · answer #1 · answered by Immortal Cordova 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure how old you are but I am in my late 20's & am exactly the same way... always have been since I was a child. I never thought that it was a fear though. I just knew that around my friends that I know & know me I am more comfortable therefore I cut up & clown with them. But around people I don't know or am not that close to I am more reserved. I wouldn't say that it is a fear of anything I would just say that it takes a little while for you to feel people out on how they might take you & receive what you think is fun. Everyone does not have the same type of humor or take things the same way. That's why you may be more shy around people you don't know. Trust me this can be a good thing...Although it may seem that people who are more outgoing have more fun, sometimes they are the ones that attract more trouble to themselves as well. Not intentionally it just seems to happen that way. And even though you really didn't want to hear it, it is better to be comfortable "being yourself" than to be uncomfortable trying to "be more open."
2007-10-01 10:04:27 · answer #2 · answered by Ms. Independent 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You believe yourself to be superior to others as an intellect. Your afraid that random people will not find your humor funny, or your views intriguing, but your family has already shown themselves to accept you. You keep most of your thoughts to yourself because you believe them to be correct, even if many wouldnt agree. And guess what, they are probably correct. So do not be afraid to open yourself to everyone, though being an unread book, still with its pages filled, can be an advantage wherever you are in life dealing with other people.
Most likely, as with me, you have matured at a much greater rate than your peers as far as your mind is concerned. I have adjusted to everyone elses level, you must learn to do the same if you want to fit in where your at. Just remember though, that when they say highschool and being a kid is the best time of yourlife so dont waste it, its a blatant lie. The rest of yourlife especially with your giftedness (Which I have presumed you know something of, corrret? You have great aspirations, no?) will hold many suprises and opportunities and experiences, that together will make your years now seem like a lifelong lunch b yourself. Be excited, it is coming.
2007-10-01 09:45:10 · answer #3 · answered by The Prodigy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Cordova has some very good advice there. You can be loud around family and friends because you know they already accept you. But edging into a new relationship is always a bit strange at first. Just let it happen in its own sweet time and don't worry about it.
Doug
2007-10-01 09:45:12 · answer #4 · answered by doug_donaghue 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know that you close friends family members are not judging you based on how you act.
You know your close friends and family members aren't going anywhere...they'll be friends/family forever.
You're afraid of other people looking at you as if you are bothersome or annoying (those are your words from your description of the problem).
When you are alone, you are not secure. You don't know what to expect. You do when you are with your friends/family.
Hope this helps.
2007-10-01 09:43:11 · answer #5 · answered by Loves the Ponies 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋