2007-10-01 08:45:51 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
I love my mother in law!!! Shes the best.
2007-10-01 08:48:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
The biggest problem I have experienced is boundaries. The mother in laws do not know when to keep quiet. They feel that since one is there child they have the right to interfere and say too much. The daughter in laws then feel that there mother in law is intrusive and it grows from there. Also most men will not tell there mother enough or to be quiet. This then becomes a battle for the wife and mother. I feel it is the child's job of the parent to speak to that parent on issues they have. Parents are more understanding for there own children then there daughter in laws and or son in laws.
2007-10-02 02:29:12 · answer #2 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Amazing question! and one of the very interesting ones i have come across till today on Yahoo Answers!..
Philosophers, Scholars and every other human has come to a point in life where i am very sure had thought about this weird mystery.
what i have learned so far from education and somewhat experience... is that ... even if the girl knows the mother in law before she got married to the son and was on good terms and the other way round things change a lot after marriage.. the basic reason is natural jealousy of a mother and what it leads to in the heart of the wife.
Every mother in this world i suppose loves her son a lot. and wants his happiness but have a problem, and that's having something called a natural jealousy. when the son gives all the attention he used to give to the mother, towards the wife, or divides it between the two.. the mother feels that now she is old and of no need in her baby sons life.. bcoz every mother no matter how old the kid becomes looks at him as a baby. and the reason he doesn't need her is this girl. on the other hand when she tries to do things for her son so her importance in his life is alive... the girl gets irritated that why is she interfering in their peaceful life.
and another reason i suppose is a psychological image and idea people have in their minds that every mother in law is bad and every daughter in law is bad.
2007-10-01 08:56:03 · answer #3 · answered by goodgirl 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The dork who answered with sarcasm must not be married at the moment!
I have always gotten along with my mother in law. We love each other very much.
The reason why some do not get along is because mom doesn't want to let go. She has been number one in her boy's life all these years and has a hard time accepting the new number one. I have 3 sons and I know at first I will be the same way with my oldest. The thing is as a mom we feel like we arn't needed anymore and have been replaced. We hate that feeling.
As the dork said women are controlling and posseive--this is so untrue. We get the oppionion no one is good enough for our boy. That is where it starts. We moms need to understand this before our boys start dating so we don't make their lives miserable.
My mother in law was broke in when I met my hubby. She had married off 3 children before him. She had already dealth with that before I came along.
2007-10-01 08:54:39 · answer #4 · answered by Stefbear 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
MIL's and DIL's come together as adults, with no family bond of love and of course without the love that makes the son and his wife choose to marry. They also are two women raised in different families with different ideas on how things should be done. This can make for some real conflicts. The behavior and attitude of the son can add fuel to the fires of conflict or he can help them get along. Sometimes the two women have misunderstandings or feel some sort of competition. Sometimes they don't get along because of selfishness, competiton or insecurity. Worst of all are the problems caused by poor character or outright meaness, or problems like alcoholism/addiction.
After having said all that, I am grateful to have a MIL who has been kind and good. We've never had a real fight, even though we see things differently at times. Occasionally I've felt annoyed with her for little things like telling me 300 extra details in her stories that I don't need or want to know. But, in the scheme of things she is a wonderful MIL. She's my role model for how I plan to treat my sons-in-laws.
2007-10-01 09:05:23 · answer #5 · answered by LeslieAnn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because in the middle is a son/husband. Mother in laws are used to having control of their son, and taking care of him like her own, than all of a sudden she sort of has to give it up to a woman she didn't specifically choose. The daughter in law now wants to be the one to call those type of shots without anyone dictating her or any other influence that doesn't agree with her. These type of women though like to be in control most of the time and in for both the mother in law and daughter in law they know that each is a very important roll in the husband/son's life, but its hard for them to accept at times. They just have to face it sometimes, thats the only way it will ever work. Thats why.
2007-10-01 08:53:36 · answer #6 · answered by Angela M 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Very simply, the stereotypical enmity between mothers and wives comes down to competition between the two women for the son's time, affection, and produce (money).
Luckily, this is not nearly as common in this day and age as it once was.
My mother lives next door to me, and I pay her mortgage. The entire property is mine. I take this responsibility for my mother because she has no one else, so my prospective wife (I don't actually plan on marrying, but the woman may come along) is going to have to respect that.
But... is it not true that if a man cannot respect his mother then he will never respect a wife? I always thought that that was one of those full circle things that had to be completed before you could emotionally progress. You must be able to stand up to, yet respect your parents, and this sets the stage for the relationships you will have in the future.
2007-10-01 12:03:14 · answer #7 · answered by eine kleine nukedmusik 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My mother-in-law and I get along great! We love each other just like daughter and mother.
But I guess some feel competition for the "man" they both want to care for and love. The mother doesn't want to cut the apron strings and the new wife doesn't want a mamas boy.
2007-10-01 08:52:09 · answer #8 · answered by Alliance Kicks Horde Butt 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Because mothers just can't let go of their boys, and their wives are looking to have what would work best in THEIR family. My mother in law and I get along for the most part, but it's because we have had several quailty talks about who in "in charge", mother in laws just need to let go a little.
2007-10-01 08:50:43 · answer #9 · answered by jrmiheinzen@sbcglobal.net 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I suppose some women dont think any girl or woman is good enough for their son . I love my daughter in law and she puts up with alot from my son . I would still remain in contact with her if something ever happened between her and my son . I truly like her .
2007-10-01 08:52:03 · answer #10 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋