easy 10 points up for grabs?

Question

please can someone make me smile and cheer me up as i am feeling really down right now....

Answer 1

One day a 3-year old boy was eating watermelon, and he swallowed the seeds. His mom told him not to do that, because a watermelon would grow in his stomach.
The next day at the supermarket, they were in line behind a pregnant woman. The 3-year old pointed at her stomach, and said "I know what you've been doing"

hope this helps...

Answer 2

Smile

Answer 3

Ok lets see! What could you possibly be down about? Bad hair day? No, more serious, ok bust up with frien? No, even more serious, bust up with boyfriend taht you've been with forever? No? OK lets try again. You got fired? NO? You have no date to the prom? No? OK I give up!
look honey whatever it is do what my mother says.
" Rub it to your finger, rub it to your ***,
By the time youre finished the pain is sure to pass!"
Obviously you can use this in a multitude of situations and it always makes me smile even if I dont want to!

Answer 4

Today this kid walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper on his shoe (this is at school mind you, in the hallway during passing period) and some girl goes 'You got toilet paper on yo' shoe..' and he keeps walking as he looks and trips over his own foot and fell sideways in front of the drinking fountain.

Pretty funny but I just kept walking.

Oh and I had a gay moment and made this up: Send that frown out of town and invite smile to stay a while!!

My mom was crying with laughter, I made that up when I was about 13..

And for anyone pissed that I said 'gay moment', I am gay. So ha.

Answer 5

Big Smiles :]
*Hugs*

I Hope You Feel Okay Soon...
& If Something's Wrong, Hope It Gets Sorted :]

<3

Answer 6

Well its getting nearer to Christmas now and if I'm feeling down I think of Christmas carols. This particular one is stuck in my brain at the moment so here goes, altogether now:

Once in royal David's city,

stood a lowly cattle shed,

where a mother laid her baby.......

Answer 7

How are you going to pick the last answer? This could be going on for days until the question is put to a vote. Then anyone could be best answer. Are you going to pick after four hours or when it looks like you will get no more answers?

Answer 8

I'm not sure why you're feeling so down, but I'll tell you two jokes:

Joke 1:
Trying to prove a point


A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to quit; she gets two shot glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey.

After getting him to the table that had the glasses, she brings his bait box. She says "I want you to see this." She puts a worm in the water, and it swims around.

She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "what do you have to say about this experiment?"

He responds by saying: "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"

Joke 2
20 dollars

Two men are in a bar getting drunk. Suddenly one of them throws up all over himself.
He says "Oh, no. Now my wife will kill me".

His friend says "Don't worry. Just tuck a twenty dollar bill in your breast pocket and tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill".

So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker.

Eventually he reels home and his wife starts to give him a bad time.

"You reek of alcohol and you've thrown up all over yourself, my God you're disgusting" etc.

Speaking very carefully so as not to slur, he says, "Wait. It's not what you think. I only had one drink, but this man was sick on me. He'd obviously had one too many, or else he just couldn't hold his liquor. He was very sorry and he gave me twenty dollars for the cleaning bill. Look in my breast pocket."

She looks in his breast pocket and says, "But this is forty dollars".

"Ah, yes." says the man. "He pee'd in my trousers too".

I hope these cheer you up a little bit. Now smile and keep your chin up. Are you feeling better now ? :)

Answer 9

Two old ladies sitting in a park
one says to the other" i put condoms over my fags
to keep them dry when it rains".
"Thats a good idea" says the other,
with that she says her goodbyes & heads off to the chemist,
as she walks in the man behind the counter says
good afternoon madam can i help you?
Yes she replies, i'd like some condoms,
he says what size ?
she replies It doesn't really matter along as it fits a camel

Answer 10

Now come on Rosie, its only 4 days to the weekend, your going to have an amazing time then so get yourself upstairs and sort out what your going to be wearing and dance while you do it.