This past Saturday was my husband's 30th birthday. Originally I was going to buy him NFL tickets but then he wanted a tatoo so I said I'd get him that instead. He had to work the evening shift Friday night and was supposed to be home at 12:30am. He did not come home until 3:30am. He said he was drinking with his buddies right after work. So the next day, his birthday, he sleeps in a bit. He wakes up at noon-ish and we watch a movie. Then he has to leave for his tatoo appt. I thought I was going with him but he made excuses why I shouldn't go. He gets home at 9pm, gets showered etc. and goes out with his friends till 7am. I get mad b/c we spent a total of 2 hours togethter for his b-day. I wanted to do some special things for him and didn't get to, so he keeps calling me selfish b/c it's his b-day and should be able to do what he wants to do without getting $hit from me. Am I being selfish, or do I have a right to be angry?
2007-10-01 08:23:48 · 35 answers · asked by Jenny D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hey Jenny, I know you are going to get a bunch of answers saying yes you should back off and let him do what he wants, but he shouldn't want to be like that. He should want to spend that time with you. It basically sounds like hes blowing you off alot in favor of his friends and thats definitely wrong.
Him not wanting you to go with him on the tattoo things sounds very suspicious.
2007-10-01 08:30:29 · answer #1 · answered by The Wižard 5 · 5⤊ 1⤋
I would be livid if my husband stayed out all night and then called me selfish. Why do you let him treat you so badly? He is putting himself and his buddies before you. He's a married man and should not be staying out all night in the first place.
I would become very distant and unconcerned when it comes to him, I would not call after him or look for him and I would hardly even notice when he comes home. I would find something else to do.
I would also make sure I was not at home when he comes wondering in after an all nighter with out me. He is too sure of you. You need to put some mystery into the mix. Two can play at that game. If you have kids get a sitter. Go out with out him, see how he doesn't like it one bit.
You right now are the insecure one who lets him get away with this bad behavior, turn it around and make him insecure.
2007-10-01 08:40:13 · answer #2 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl you have every right to be mad. When you are in a relationship it isnt just about the one person anymore. I know he knew you wanted to spend time with him he is just being a jerk. Dont even worry about it anymore. Just act as though it doesnt matter. Since he feels as though he can do what he wants, give him a taste of his own medicine and see how much he likes that. For your birthday you should hang out with your gal pals lol let your hair lose and just enjoy yourself. Sometimes you have to give ppl back what they give you so they realize that it hurts when you are on the recieving end.
2007-10-01 08:34:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men just don't understand that we plan things and think in our heads about how to make them happy and treat them special. Sometimes they are clueless as to our feelings. I think its messed up. He's your hubby you wanted to spend time with him. It is his birthday but he should want you to be part of it and included. Then you could have done those special things like you wanted. It was sorta selfish of him, my man does stuff like this and I hate it. I know its just because he doesn't get it...but that same old excuse for them gets old. Long story short you have a justifiable reason for this bugging you.
2007-10-01 08:33:29 · answer #4 · answered by Monkey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not selfish, you have the right to be angry. Why because he is a married man and now its not about having fun and going out with his budies but about spending time with you. I mean it's fine for him to go out with his friends once in a while but he also needs to consider you on his birthday.
2007-10-01 08:52:04 · answer #5 · answered by Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have a right to be angry. Sure it's his birthday but he didn't want to involve you in it he should have at least said so upfront so you could make other plans. But the fact that he didn't want to spend ANY of his birthday celebration with you sounds like he's really not that into you.
2007-10-01 08:32:46 · answer #6 · answered by meagain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You def. have a right to be angry. He's putting his friends before you by saying in order to have a good time he has to go out with them. He's the one being selfish by not caring it hurt your feelings. You need to take off for a girls weekend and leave him hanging. Not that I think he shouldn't spend any time with his friends, but he should want to spend some of his special day with you.
2007-10-01 08:30:22 · answer #7 · answered by ○•○•Cassie•○•○ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have every right to be mad! You paid for his tatoo and you couldn't even go with him.
He was an a$$! If he had wanted a day "with the guys" he should have told you before.h
2007-10-01 09:38:20 · answer #8 · answered by Spring 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's selfish and you have a right to be angry. If he wanted to do "whatever" he wanted he could have been considerate of your feelings and told you ahead of time. Let him know when he points the finger at you for being selfish, there are three more pointing in his direction.
2007-10-01 08:41:48 · answer #9 · answered by mafiosu 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Um no your not being selfish. you expect to be included in on things a little bit. It was hurtful for him to blow you off like that. It maybe his day but your still his wife and deserve to be treated like it even on his day. That's the pot calling the kettle black. He has showed how selfish he is. There are men that get to live that way they are called bachelors. He needs to remember that he isn't one.
2007-10-01 08:32:08 · answer #10 · answered by Penny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋