me and the father of my two kids had separeted for three months. while we were separeted he got with another girl that i didn't know about until me and him got back together, and she called and said she was "pregnant with his baby". i'm not sure if it was true or not cause a couple of days later she called and said she had a miscarriage...?????. he told her in a really mean way to stop calling him because me and him got back together...anyway she than started to call his friend looking for him.. he says he hasn't spoken to her but i dont know if to beleive him or not.
2007-10-01 08:06:59 · 19 answers · asked by freakingcute 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
well no one can answer that question but you, but here are somethings you might want to consider. Do you trust him, has he cheated in the past? The two of you were separated when he was involved with the other person, and now that you are reunited it appears that he gave her the boot. If she called one day and said she was pregnant and then the next time she called she had a miscarriage, and she is also trying to track him down through his friends it sounds like she may be 1) a "Drama Queen" or 2) a bit crazy, or 3) just hurt and confused that he dropped her like a hot potato, and she has not had time to deal with the hurt. She may simply want to bring closure.
If you love this man and want him to be with you and the children, then give him the benefit of doubt, but keep your eyes and ears open, and follow your instincts. The affair, or relationship he was involved in could have only been a rebound fling, someone to help him deal with the loss of you. But who knows, only the two of them.
So my advice, take it slow, follow you instincts, and if she stopped calling then maybe all she wants is closure and not him. In the end you must do what is best for you.
I wish you well.
2007-10-01 08:20:02 · answer #1 · answered by been around the world almost 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is how you should look at it:
Your judgement thus far seems to be sorely lacking. You have two kids with a man you're not married to - a man who seems to be irresponsible and stupid. He has unprotected sex with dumb women. You are a Gerry Springer episode waiting to happen. And you cannot spell.
If I were you, I would not trust my own judgement. You decide whether you want to take him back or not - THEN DO THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU CHOOSE.
Since every choice you make will probably be the wrong choice, if you do the opposite you will be making the right choice!
Simple.
2007-10-01 08:16:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would be wise for both of you to look at why you seperated in the first place. the fact is you didn't ask for a trial away from each other because things were fantastic. There's a distinct possibility that the old behaviors will repeat themselves if you continue to live with these nagging suspicions rather than adressing them, up front with your partner.
If doing it face to face privately isn't working out, ask for a councelor to mediate. The reality is they will have a prospective that neither of you will and they can adress your feelings in an appropriate style that neither of you thought to look at. Additionally, they can show both of you where the feelings are already being exposed and exploding, and neither of you noticed because you're both so raw.
As for this woman, it's on him. He's told her to back out and off, and she continues to behave this way. He knows how you feel, he needs to keep up the boundry of "GO AWAY!
2007-10-01 08:12:45 · answer #3 · answered by Sarah S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you living your life like it is some kind of a soap opera? Weren't you ever taught that marriage comes before kids? Why don't you quit being selfish and self absorbed and put them first. Children that have 2 parents in the home do better than those who don't. You made you bed now you have to lie in it. Some people would do anything to be in your shoes (having children) but you don't come across as being appreciative of what a great gift you have been given.
2007-10-01 08:12:28 · answer #4 · answered by dizzygrltoo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ur relationship is complicated. If he really cared about you he would of not had sex with the other girl, while separated he should of given thought to your relationship. The separation could of been the best moment for him to make things better with you. Sometimes is hard to realize the truth, but can you trust him? sure I guess if you think he really changed and wants to make things work than why not trust him. Then again if things start getting suspicious you should give him an ultimatum.
2007-10-01 08:15:16 · answer #5 · answered by RedSparkle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well when he was with her, you guys were not together so why would he tell you?
he was upfront and honest with you when you got back together being with her,then you should trust him. doesnt seem like there is a reason not to trust him.
and if the girl tries to say shes pregnant again- take a deep breath and make sure there is a test to see if he is the father. if he is, its no reason to break up with him. you just need to make sure you both realize he has another responability in his life now. he needs to step up and be the dad, not only financially but involved in the childs life. does not mean you and him can not be together you just NEED to have a very honest relationship!
if you are in love with each other, it will work out!
good luck!
2007-10-01 08:11:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, he obviously stopped calling her for her to pull the "oops, I'm preggers but OH WAIT I had a miscarriage" ploy. And you two weren't together so yeah, he was gonna look around to get his jollies elsewhere. I'd say if she's participating in creepy stalker behavior, he's straightened up and she's doing you a favor by pushing him even farther away.
2007-10-01 08:10:56 · answer #7 · answered by gilgamesh 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think a women knows deep down inside if she can really trust a man the way i see it is he split up with you and got with someone else if he really loved you he wouldnt of jumped into bed with some one else straight away and maybe oneday you'll be pregnant or god forbid have a miscarriage and he'll drop you like a hat id stay away it takes two to make a baby
2007-10-01 08:17:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, come out in a sincere voice and ask him what's going on. Tell him you need to know what happened between him and this other or else you won't be able to trust him anymore. Try not to get mad at his response. If he doesn't tell you, them maybe you shouldn't trust him for awhile. Try to earn his trust back because trust holds a relationship together.
2007-10-01 08:13:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry however it dont seem well. I was once for your ex's role. its particularly difficult to believe any one once more after some thing like that and i stopped it even tho i nonetheless cherished her bit we simply faught at all times and we attempted operating it out. however it doesn't matter what it was once continuously at the back of my brain. If she advised me she didnt do something or simply speakme to the man.. I might have her close to sware on a stack of bibles that she didnt. and that i realize it sucked doing that. It didnt support tho that she was once a flirt and all. however nonetheless you wish to have believe. He demands to be competent to invite you handiest as soon as if you happen to did something with that man and your ans undoubtedly no.. after which he will have to feel you and say good enough thank you for being sincere and that's the top of the dialogue. And SHOULD no longer be braught up once more. So except you two paintings on that.. its goin nowhere. Just take it handy for a whilst dont go away him at midnight.. exhibit him that you just handiest desire him.. whilst you're out and your talkin to a institution of men.. name ur b.f over.. and say to all of the men.. have you ever met my b.f. and stuff like that.. permit him see what you're like with men and what sort of you speak approximately him to the men and also you dont be flirting. its goin be particularly difficult for a whilst but when its what you particularly desire im certain it's going to be valued at it sooner or later. all of the first-class. desire i helped. sorry if i waffled on slightly . Sean
2016-09-05 13:47:05 · answer #10 · answered by siegfreid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋