My ex boyfriend really wants to salvage a friendship with me- we broke up nine months ago. However only a few of those months were we not talking and lots of the time was filled with us CROSSING the line... saying things we really shouldn't. The breakup was on my end and now its mostly mutual, however since I still care about him I don't like being friends. I have never been friends with an ex and he easily is friends with exes. If we stop talking, we somehow pick it up again. If we, maybe 4 days of the week will talk a couple times a day and the other 3 days just a little or not at all, HOW can I slowly disentigrate the friendship so he doesn't notice if I don't call for weeks? I usually call right back and thats just the way I am so I really need a way to get him to not feel like I'm gone or just be okay with it.
I can't do friends very well.
2007-10-01 07:57:40 · 8 answers · asked by sojourning.sarah 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
aaaaaaaagh
no.........
if it were up to me we'd be together! i broke up with him a long time ago at the time for good reason, but I want to try again. he doesn't want to date right now but says he loves me... so i cant do this inbetween friendship.
im not draggin him its the other way around!
2007-10-01 08:11:31 · update #1
aaaaaaaagh
no.........
if it were up to me we'd be together! i broke up with him a long time ago at the time for good reason, but I want to try again. he doesn't want to date right now but says he loves me... so i cant do this inbetween friendship.
im not draggin him its the other way around!
2007-10-01 08:11:38 · update #2
It is you that is having difficulty with this relationship."If it was up to you you would still be with him? " God does not make no mistakes. And it is nothing sleak to a can of oil. What ever happened that cause you to change your mind,stick to it. He wants to be friends and you want to let go. It must be painful to love someone that does not know how to love you. Action speaks louder than words. you can leave someone and still care about them. You will think about them years later and never see them again. Get on with your life. He will notice the change and so will you. What do you have to lose by holding on the a thing that died 9 months ago. When you move on you make room for another. If you hold on you can not move to another relationship. Stop looking back,there is more ahead. You know it"I can do friends very well."
2007-10-01 12:15:23 · answer #1 · answered by God is love. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG!!! End it all ready. talk about beating a dead cat. This takes time, and sometimes it just means cold turkey.
The more you stay in each others lives, the harder it will be to move on, and LET GO>>> if you broke up with him, then you need to back off and NOT return calls...
Yes, it will hurt, but all breakups do. You cannot make a breakup painless unless neither one of you are in love anymore, so if that is not the case... END IT>
Unless of course you are just stringing him along and really want him to puppy dog behind you.
If you can't do friends well, and you know this... then WHY are you trying...?
Be the best friend he could ever have... be straight up with him, and sever the cord!!!
2007-10-01 15:03:30 · answer #2 · answered by SuzyM 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really want to say goodbye, you need to stop messing around. No more taking his calls or meeting with him. Ever. This will send the message. Sounds like you allow your emotions to dictate how you respond to him. That isn't healthy. Cut it off. Yes, expect it to hurt, expect to miss him, expect to trying to get back with him, but don't allow yourself to do it. MOVE ON. Good luck.
2007-10-01 15:05:30 · answer #3 · answered by Brain 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your last sentence says it all. Nothing to say you have to be friends. Don't sever gently. Be done with it. You are not comfortable, don't worry about how he feels. If you are truly done with him, just stop talking and cut off all contact... block him on all your communication devices - IM Facebook etc, don't pick up his calls, just stop. If that's what you *really* want. If he notices... do you really care?
2007-10-01 15:03:31 · answer #4 · answered by teritaur 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You sound confused.
Until you know what it is you want, you will feel anxious- and out of control.
Exes are exes for good reasons.
IF you decided to end it, then follow through and avoid all contact... Unless you like playing mind games.... and also like to waste time.
2007-10-01 17:43:57 · answer #5 · answered by Nena S 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what's wrong with being up front? be matter of fact and to the point - we need to stop talking for a while (why?) because i'd prefer to move on at this point and perhaps begin a friendship in the future. but for now, please stop calling. there. done. no emotions, no blaming, just matter of fact, short and to the point. you dont' have to explain anything to him, just politely ask him to stop calling. that's it.
2007-10-01 15:13:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
YAWN-YAWN-YAWN, Either get together with the poor smuck, or just end it!!!! Its easy!!!! SEE YA!!!! You've got to make up your own mind, maybe this is just training for the real goodbye< SOMEDAY
2007-10-01 15:12:35 · answer #7 · answered by happywjc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't answer his calls.
Don call him back.
2007-10-01 15:09:46 · answer #8 · answered by LAL 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋