My husband has an ex girlfriend with a child from 5 years ago. The ex-girlfriend is still bitter from their break-up 5 years ago. She will not let him see their child and constantly tries to destroy our marriage. She goes to extremes to say my husband tried to rape her hit her in the court system. She fabricates lies and stories just to keep him running back to court. We have a lawyer now and is in the process of pressing charges on her. Out of fustration, I asked my husband what made him stay with a women like that in the pass. He stated that her sex was good. I really got upset and asked him what the hell did he mean. I am very upset and can't get pass that statment. I feel like if her sex was so good then why is he with me. Do you think he still thinks about her? I'm I being stupid?
2007-10-01 07:52:52 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow, what a crappy thing to say to your wife. He should not have said that. What did he think he was going to accomplish with a statement like that? You have to let the statement go. Be mature and don't start acting like that ex-girlfriend! What I mean is don't become bitter towards him over it. He married you because your a confident, caring and loving woman and tell him your their for him through this and you know how hard this is for him but don't make it worse by saying things that will hurt you, then don't say another word about it and move on. To him all he was saying was that it was just about the sex, it was nothing but physical. He didn't feel anything for her except for what was on the outside. He actually loves you and married you. You two have enough to be worried about right now, so be on each others side and get through this horrible ordeal together. Good luck and try your hardest to not put the kid in the middle of everything. Make sure she/he can talk to you about whats going on and don't say bad things about the Mom. Don't forget how hard this is for the child too.
2007-10-01 08:25:21 · answer #1 · answered by sun day 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
well... here's the lesson... don't ask the questions if you don't want the answers. You asked - he told you. Get over it.
He's married to you now isn't he?
Are you worried sex with you isn't as good? If yes, then do something about it. It's easy to spice things up. Head to a *toy* store that's for women mostly, and you'll be able to learn all kinds of fun and hot things. Go with it.
It sounds like you also have a bit of a confidence and self esteem problem? What are you *really* worried about? If you can't figure out, I'd suggest a little bit of counselling. Sometimes someone else who is objective can help us and force us to take a hard look at our own issues.
As for the rest. Use the lawyer, pay her and insure things get done out of fairness and what is in the best interest of the child. Shame on her for using the child as a pawn in her supid game. NO... get shopping and experimenting.
2007-10-01 15:00:10 · answer #2 · answered by teritaur 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There are a lot of people that stay in bad relationships because the sex is good...I don't know why you got mad at that statement apparently it's good with you too or he wouldn't still be there.
It's a known fact that men think differently then women do.
And yeah everyone thinks about their ex's occasionally they are a part of their past, and possibly him more than others if they have a child together.
2007-10-01 15:04:14 · answer #3 · answered by Ms. M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are confusing issues. You asked him a question and he gave you an honest answer. You know the old saying, "don't ask if you don't really want to know." Just because he said sex was good with her does not imply that she is better in bed than you. Also obviously sex isn't everything or he would have stayed with her.
I would just tell him that hopefully he learned his lesson and learned better than to stay with a crazy person for any reason.
Right now it sounds like you guys are going through a hard time with the ex etc.., and he needs your support. I say let it go and just move forward.
2007-10-01 14:58:54 · answer #4 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably wasn't the best way of putting it, but maybe that was the truth. He put up with her cause the sex was good and she let him do whatever he wanted. That doesn't mean he's still thinking of her. I think it was him just being a guy and saying the honest truth. They had a kid, but he NEVER married her, right? So, your sex MUST be better!!! ;)
Don't let it get to you because you wanted him to say something else and you got his truth...just think next time you ask him something about ANY ex.
2007-10-01 14:58:29 · answer #5 · answered by karamell08 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you are the one he's with, so it has to be more than sex. I think he was just saying that was the only reason he hung around, obviously even that wasn't enough or he would still be with her don't you think? I know men can be insensitive sometimes, but I don't think he said it to hurt or offend you. Think of it this way, it was just sex with her...but you are the total package..and that's why he married you. If it weren't for the child....he wouldn't have anything to do with this woman who seems to have issues.
2007-10-01 14:58:35 · answer #6 · answered by goodgirlabout2gobad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has nothing to do with you Brea. You asked him why he stayed with her. Alot of people will stay with someone just becasue of the sex. They aren't really ready to move on yet so they basically stay in a sexual relationship until they are ready. He is with you now and thats what matters. If he can't come up with any other reason to have stayed with her, then you have nothing to worry about. Thats all he meant,that he wasn't ready to end it and the sex was good( meaning, it was sex, so it must be good) so he stayed.
2007-10-01 15:03:51 · answer #7 · answered by The Wižard 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Geez, you ask him and he told you the truth. Most men love sex, so that was what he remembers about her, but it wasn't good enough to stay with the crazy woman. It has resulted in alot of problems for him.
He married you, so the sex must be pretty good and he's still with you. If you're going to be angry, be angry at what she's doing to you, your husband and the child.
2007-10-01 15:01:36 · answer #8 · answered by LAL 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are being WAY too sensitive.
First off, what happened before you two got together is just history.
Second, while he was single his reasons for dating one woman or another are irrelevant to his marriage to you. YOU'RE the one he married, not them.
Third, look at your ring finger and remember your vows keeping in mind that you and he made those vows together looking into each other's eyes, not that other girl.
Finally, you have a past too. That it isn't as dramatic as his is irrelevant. Would you feel he has a right to be upset about things you did and who you did them with before you met him?
2007-10-01 14:58:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Its absolutely amazing how many men don't think when asked a question of this nature. Of course...perhaps he's just THAT shallow and he put up with her lunacy because she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch?
In any case. I wouldn't say that you're little 'package' isn't just as nice and attractive however I can't fault you for being pissed at such a moronic answer.
I don't think he still 'thinks' about her. pretty apparent he just doesn't 'think' at all.
2007-10-01 15:16:10 · answer #10 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋