I posted a question asking if "do relationships go in cycles/ live with some", I received 4 answers and one was voted best answer. I took her advice. Needless to say I TOOK THE WRONG ADVICE.
I am now wearing a sling on my right arm (fractured elbow and shoulder), wearing shirts to cover my neck to hide the choke marks, and living in a house full of broken furniture, while trying to explain to my 3 children what happen to mommy arm, and why mommy have on that shirt and its hot outside.
To anyone out there, if your are in a relationship that you have to second guess, if it's healthy or not, does he or she love me or not, should I go or should I stay, he or she say they are sorry and it will never happen again, what should I do?.......Take it from someone who has been there.......YOU NEED TO LEAVE!!!!! ASAP.
Thank God I was able to hit him with something, grab my cell phone and run down the street, I may not would have been here to share my story.
2007-10-01 06:56:51 · 18 answers · asked by Winter 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That's pretty unfair what you're saying about the Best Answer. I read your first question, and the Best Answer people voted for, before answering this one, and nowhere in your first question did you say anything about physical violence. I feel sure that you would have received much different responses to your question if you had said that the man had been physically abusing you. However, all you said was that you had had troubles and he had left you for awhile. It even sounded like you were taking advantage of him by asking him for outrageous things just to see if he would do them for you.
What you seem to be failing to consider is that some people "second guess" their relationship dozens of times or more, and never suffer physical abuse. What you went through is not a normal situation. In the future, if you want better advice, take my advice: provide ALL the *relevant* details in your question!
2007-10-01 07:19:37 · answer #1 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Good for you.. you were able to run away and share your story for others in the same situation.. to really shake things up and leave.. It is soo sad to knw this actually does happen, and sometimes people fall in that cycle and believe when the men say.. "it was a mistake".. Bs! I have always believed in the "trust ur instict" if you think the relationship is going nowhere. and doubt.. get out before something like that or worst happens.. Thank God you were smart and strong.. and will be there for ur kids.. Hope he is in jail and stays there for a while.. Women need to speak up and dont let any1 hurt them! Again Thank God you are ok,... God bless and your kids, Be safe
2007-10-01 07:19:48 · answer #2 · answered by GIGI 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you stated in your previous question, You have had a lot of problems with this guy before.
Have you had him prosecuted? Is he in jail? Do you have a protection order? Have you changed your phone number? Have you changed all of the locks? Have you made the people around you (friends, neighbors and co workers) aware of the situation, so that they will be on the look out?
All of these things are important in keeping him away from you and the children.
You are responsible now for what happens. You need to keep yourself and your children safe.
2007-10-01 07:10:50 · answer #3 · answered by Tadpoler 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer was stupid. Too bad I didn't catch up with you beforehand. Guy is a manipulator. "Enjoy the view". You shittin' me? He was schmoozing you and making you his exclusive property all along.
You're lucky to get out with your life. Sorry it was a hard lesson learned. Lets hope some of these other knuckleheads here who are into abusive relationships pick up on your advice and don't ask stupid questions as to what they need to do. More often than not the answer is obvious. You....like a lot of others chose what sounded the best to you because its what you wanted to hear.
Go with instinct. That usually never fails and its more often the wise decision in any case.
2007-10-01 07:04:43 · answer #4 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I read your previous question and you shouldn't blame it on the person who gt voted for best answer you said nothing at all about him being abusive. and it shouldn't take yahoo answers for you to figure out that if a guy goes back to his wife then comes back to you it's never gonna work out wasn't anybodys fault but your own. I am sorry he abused you no one no matter what the circumstances should ever be hit or abused no excuse for that. next time just get out don't stop and ask questions.
2007-10-01 07:57:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wasn't one who answered your question, but I'm so sorry for what happened to you! Your advice is correct - leave the first time abuse happens. Never give an abuser a second chance. I really hope you're pressing charges against the creep so he doesn't have a chance to do it - or worse - again, to you or someone else. Get counseling, get involved with a domestic violence group, and help get his rearend in jail where it belongs!
Best of luck to you.
2007-10-01 07:03:36 · answer #6 · answered by N L 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes when we ask questions what we really want is someone to validate what we really want to do and so we take their advice because it matches our desires.... in doing that we reject the advice that is really the right advice. Although in your heart you want to stay with someone even if they treat you badly it is a bad idea.... I know that when someone said to talk to them and get counseling and try and make it work that is what you want to do but it is NEVER OK to stay with someone that is abusive.... Please women if a man ever hurts you GET OUT...... this could have ended so badly .... you are probably lucky to be alive .... being with an abuser affects not only you but your children.... I am glad you are safe... hopefully someone will learn from your error in judgment.
2007-10-01 07:11:45 · answer #7 · answered by DavidV 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Glad you are okay. However, you should take what you read on here as amateur advise. You should realize you use the advice you got on here at your own risk. Even a professional therapist is not right all of the time.
Think about all of the possibilities of something suggested to you before you act on it. Anyway, again I am glad you are okay.
2007-10-01 07:16:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I remember your question. I am so happy you are ok. Never, ever stay with someone who can do that people! They can say sorry and promise not to do it again, but their temper says otherwise. Why even take the chance. God bless you and good luck!
2007-10-01 07:02:36 · answer #9 · answered by Paula D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me guess, somebody thought you should stay together forever because you took vows? Sorry this happened to you. I hope he's in jail for a long time and that it never happens again.
2007-10-01 07:07:01 · answer #10 · answered by good girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋